The feelings of Shame and Insecurity......or I am enough!
Might shame be an issue with you?
Have you ever felt repulsive energies inside of you that you just couldn't seem to get rid of?
If so, there's a very good reason why you feel almost possessed by negative thoughts and emotions that won't go away, no matter how hard you try to end them.
You could be suffering from shame that was dumped on you by someone else. Some other person tried to get rid of their garbage by getting you to take it. Which never works, by the way. You can never end the awful feelings of loathing and defectiveness by dumping it onto someone smaller and weaker than you.
In fact, it only spreads when you try this. And that's why shame gets handed down from generation to generation. For the rest of the story, and to find the solution, just go to -
We can choose to start over in this very moment, there's no need to wait for a new year, month, or week.
There are times in our lives that lend themselves to starting something new. The beginning of a new year, finishing school, leaving a job, or changing homes--these all are times that turn our
minds to fresh starts. Their advantage is that they bring with them the energy of that event, creating a tide of change around them that we can ride to our next shoreline. But we can choose to start
anew anytime. In any moment we can decide that a bad day or a relationship that's gotten off on the wrong foot can be started again. It is a mental shift that allows us to clean the slate and
approach anything with fresh eyes, and we can make that choice at any time.
Starting new is most powerful when we focus our attention to what we are choosing to create. Giving all of our attention to the unwanted aspects of our lives allows what we resist to persist. We need to remember to leave enough room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to ourselves, because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new, no matter how much we like it. There is no need to get down on ourselves if we don't reach our new goals instantly. Instead, we acknowledge the forward motion and choose to reset and start again, knowing that with each choice we learn, grow, and move forward.
Making the choice to start anew has its own energy--it's a promise made to you. The forward momentum creates a sort of vacuum behind it, pulling toward you all you need to help you continue moving in your chosen direction. Once the journey has begun, it may take unexpected turns, but it never really ends. Like cycles in nature, there are periods of obvious growth and periods of dormancy that signal a time of waiting for the right moment to burst forth. Each time we choose to start anew we dedicate ourselves to becoming the best we are able to be.
Are you your own cheerleader or your worst enemy? Your sense of self-worth and what you think about yourself determines a great many things. It shapes how you act and react, how others treat you, and what kind of people show up in your life. What’s your self-esteem quotient? Take this quiz and find out.
Patricia Spadaro is the author of Honor Yourself: The Inner Art of Giving and Receiving, which explores how to get unstuck and create more balanced, authentic living. For more inspiration on how to create your life with power, purpose, and passion, visit her at www.HowToHonorYourself.com.
The Power of Vulnerability
Influential author and speaker Dr Brené Brown tackles the myth that vulnerability is a weakness. Instead, she argues, it is the clearest path to courage and meaningful connection, and has the power to transform the way we engage and educate.
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Do You have a Feeling of not being "good enough" to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life.
A sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict or concerns.
Feelings of insecurity rob us of present moment happiness. We constantly feel threatened even if our external surroundings impose no danger to our survival. It’s the mind’s habitual tendency to fixate on everything that “can” go wrong that causes most of our insecurities.
The truth is that security is a lie. There is no such thing called stability or security as far as life is concerned. It meanders along at its own pace creating and destroying at the blink of an eye. When you can’t know for sure, with 100% certainty, what will happen to you the next day, is it not naive to look for security in life?
Suggestions to stop feeling insecure?
Embrace insecurity totally. Of course it’s easier said than done but this is the only way out of insecurity. You will feel secure once you are completely “okay” with the uncertainty of life. Then your mind will not hold you hostage with thoughts of insecurity.
Here a few pointers which you can use against your mind when it tries to frighten you with negative thoughts.
Embrace “not knowing” – If you are uncertain you are closer to truth than when you fully certain. The mind wants conclusions but life is always open ended. Get comfortable with “not knowing” and most of your insecurities will vanish. Have you noticed that the thing you are most certain about is what lets you down?
You can’t ever know what’s good for you. Just let live bathe you in experiences because that’s what this game is all about. When you are willing to soak, instead of resisting, life becomes a beautiful journey.
Failure is the best thing that will happen to you – Stop judging yourself on the basis of a failure or success. No success ever lasts, neither does failure. Everything in life is just an experience. Feel free to fail miserably, it’s the best growth experience you will ever have. After all, is it not true that success teaches you nothing while failure deepens you.
Obsessing about the future is just a waste of energy – Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought of itself – a simple yet profound saying. As Jesus said, “look at the lilies how the grow, they don’t toil and spin”. Plan your future if you must but don’t delude yourself that you can ever predict it. Be comfortable in the knowledge that everything works out for the good.
Nothing will last forever – Why do feel so scared to accept this simple truth of life. Everything that arises will subside eventually. All forms are subject to decay and death, it can be physical forms, relationships, businesses etc. Insecurity arises when we don’t embrace this truth. Life is all about birthing and dying.
“This shall also pass” – Just remember these words if you ever feel insecure about a life situation. The most miserable experiences have a time span for which they can last, and then they pass. Why not just look for the seed of growth in our experiences instead of dreading their presence.
Allow a deeper intelligence to guide you – Your mind is just a alarmist of the worst order. It filled with ideas of dread. It’s always expecting the worst and all it does is scare the hell out of itself. The truth is that you are not your mind. The awareness in which the mind noise arises is what you are in reality.
When you simply stay in silence you get in touch with your true nature of “pure awareness”. Deep wisdom flows in when you are in touch with this space. So when you feel insecure, just become silent for a while. The mind noise will threaten and shout, but you just stay effortless and silent. If you do this a deep intelligence will suddenly arise within you and either resolve your problem or give you the strength to cope with it.
Don’t run away from the pain – As hard as it might seem, you have no choice but to face the pain. If you run away from it, it will arise again and more strongly. If thoughts of insecurity arise within you, don’t shield yourself by taking the protection of alcohol, entertainment or food. Face it, become deeply one with it and be completely aware of it. You don’t have to analyze it. Just stay as the silent presence till it’s done with its play.
Write down your problems – If you are feeling insecure about a future situation, it’s very helpful to write down the exact nature of the problem. Just writing it down will help clear up mind.
You will be amazed at the various solutions you can come up with once you put down your problems on paper instead of twirling it around in your mind. Be very objective in how you approach the problem. If you really don’t know how to solve it, just become comfortable with the feeling of not knowing.
Live in the moment – It’s beautiful how life always takes care of anything that comes in the present moment. You have the resources, the strength, the physical ability and the intelligence to handle any situation that is in your present moment awareness. Yet we keep trying to solve an imaginary problem which we expect the future to bring in.
It’s tough, but very liberating to let go of this neurotic need to live in the future. Of course to live in the now is not easy for the ego because its roots are in the past and future. You have to be unattached to the noise of the mind to stay in the now.
Thoughts of insecurity will arise. There will be no stop to it. The mind by its very nature is always insecure. The secret is to by detached to the mind, then
its horror tales will not influence you. This is the only true liberation from insecurity. read more......
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- 30 Challenges for 30 Days of Growth
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Today, I hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.