Positive and Practical

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What is the difference between Positive Psychology and Practical Psychology?

 

A great question requires a  great answer.  In my practice as A life Coach, a Positive attitude is absolutely necessary for any happiness or change.  You can be miserable with a billion dollars, in the bank.  You or I, for this moment we can very happy or content with a dime in our pocket. 

 

It is not how much you own, it is possibly about how much you share, do, and feel in this moment.  WOW.....  "hild laughDid you see a c", "Did you see a flower bloom?, "Did come up with another creative idea? Make that journal and remember your creativity for later. "

 

You are perfect without a billion dollars".

 

While these are Positive thoughts, we sometimes have the make them Practical to work and build our success story.  Click on JAY, the always ready little guardian angel in the picture above.  He is always there inside your mind, JUST ASK WHY?

 

Can power over ou thoughts and actions be this easy, I say YES, what do you think.

 

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Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.  It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. 

                            -William Jennings Bryan



 Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive.

 

Positive psychology is one of the newest branches of psychology to emerge. This particular area of psychology focuses on human prospering. While many other branches of psychology tend to focus on dysfunction and abnormal behavior, positive psychology is centered on helping people become happier. 

 

Positive Psychology has three central concerns:

  • Positive Emotion
  • Positive Individual Traits
  • Positive Institutions

 

 

 

Are You Toxic?

10 Ways to Tell (And How to Stop)

If you find yourself wondering why some of your relationships have ended, it might be because you’re exhibiting some toxic behaviors.

 

Tara Blair Ball
 
10 Things That Happen When You Get Toxic People Out of Your Life
 
In my early 20s, I became intensely close to a girl named Laura. I’d just moved to the area a couple of years before and struggled to find my “place,” so she was my first real friend in a while. I idolized and envied her. She seemed so carefree and happy, beautiful, and cheerful.

We were both adamant about not dating for a year, but not even six months into it, she started talking to a few guys who kept breadcrumbing her.

 

Why do you keep talking to these stupid guys?” I railed her.

 

“Because I want to! What’s the big deal?” she snapped.

 

You can probably tell where this is going. The more she chased after these dudes, the more jealous and possessive I got.

I wanted her to be my friend and only my friend. I didn’t want to share her, and eventually, it became too much, and she drifted away from me.

That’s hard for me to write because I remember feeling so lonely and hurt that the only close friend I’d had in a few years was now moving away from me.

I didn’t have the kind of supportive community everyone needs to grow and thrive, and that came out in some behaviors I now know (thanks to therapy) were very unhealthy.

 

One of the definitions of the word “toxic” on Urban Dictionary is, “a word describing any destructive behavior or personality.”

 

It is important to differentiate a toxic “person” from a toxic “behavior.” Someone who commits a toxic “behavior” isn’t toxic; we aren’t the sum of one or even several ugly behaviors.

We all make mistakes, and we all likely lack some self-awareness too.

 

I wasn’t aware at the time of how toxic I was being with that friend because I was stuck in my emotions.

I didn’t want to be alone again, and that’s what motivated me to act the way I did.

If you find yourself, like me, wondering why some of your relationships have ended, it might be because you are exhibiting some toxic behaviors you’re not aware of. Here are ten major ones:

 

1. People avoid you or end their relationships with you.

 

This is often the first indicator that something is wrong. If you keep having relationships end abruptly, it might be because you’re harming them in some way.

People will make an effort to spend time with you if they enjoy it. If they don’t, they’ll make an effort to be as far away from you as possible.

 

2. You’re judgmental and hypercritical of other people’s choices.

 

Whenever we’re judgmental of other people, we’re implying we’re better than them, and no one likes to feel inferior to someone else.

 

“I can’t believe you’re talking to that guy again,” I told my friend.

“I know,” she said. “I just like him, and he did send me a text…”

 

People need the freedom to make whatever choices they want to without judgment from their friends and loved ones.

 

Making mistakes is how we all grow and change. No one is going to handle something perfectly, and I can’t assume or act as I know better when I make just as many mistakes.

 

3. You’re controlling.

 

Do you try to make other people do what you think they should? Are you blunt and rude even?

It’s all about your intention.

If you’re purposefully trying to have power over another person, you’ve become controlling. You aren’t letting other people be who they are, and no one wants to be changed.

 

4. You don’t apologize.

 

Asking for forgiveness is an amazing way to be vulnerable with another person. You’re admitting you weren’t perfect in front of someone else, which can be scary but is important for building and fostering intimate relationships.

 

If you choose never to apologize, even when it’s obvious you were at fault, then there’s no chance you’re going to build an intimate relationship. You might not realize this is what you’re doing, but if the words, “I’m sorry” don’t pass your lips, and instead you keep making up excuses or doing #5, then you’re not a person most people would want to be close to.

 

12 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship - Reality Check Daily

 

5. You’re never responsible for anything.

 

Life is unfair, but if you find that you are always the victim, then it’s likely your thinking, not your life, that might actually be the problem.

 

For example, you might find yourself saying something like, “My boss just won’t leave me alone! I don’t understand why she’s always up my ass!”

Well, what’s the deal?

Is your boss really unfairly targeting you, or is she just trying to hold you accountable for showing up for work on time and you don’t like it?

Is there some part of this equation that you should look at?

 

No one cares to be around victims.

Life is hard enough that we don’t need to hear constantly about anyone else’s problems.

 

6. You’re a taker instead of a giver.

 

When someone is kind to you, it’s always good to consider, “When was the last time I was kind to someone else?”

Like if someone gives you a thoughtful gift, maybe you need to consider someone in your life who could benefit from receiving something from you, even if it was just a nice note.

 

We can’t always be focused on what we can get from others.

We do have to start looking at how we can help other people too.

If you look back over the last three months and you can’t remember the last time you did something for someone else, you’re a “taker.”

Often people get exhausted “giving” to someone who never reciprocates.

 

7. You take things personally.

 

Your friend is going through a rough time and they ask for some space.

Instead of respecting their request, you assume that they’re mad at you and not being honest.

You’re hurt, and you decide to retaliate.

You blow up their phone.

Call them selfish and bring up things they told you in the past (“You told me your mom used to do this all the time. I can’t believe you’re now doing this to me!”).

You talk badly to everyone around them.

 

Not everything is about you, but when you make it that way, you ensure other people are not going to want anything to do with you.

 

8. You don’t celebrate the success of others.

 

I used to think that life was a zero-sum game like if someone got something, that meant I wasn’t going to get it too.

If someone got a book deal, a job, had a baby, etc., I thought that meant that the cosmic muffin in the sky had given MY gift to them.

 

Because I thought I was being “deprived,” I wasn’t happy if people got something, even if I knew they deserved it.

I couldn’t get over feeling like they were walking away with what I was supposed to get.

 

Friends and loved ones need to show love and support for one another, and we aren’t doing that if we don’t make sure to celebrate the good stuff.

 

9. You can’t keep a secret.

 

Open and honest communication is necessary to building healthy relationships. Divulging the secrets your people share with you is thus a major form of betrayal.

 

We often might find ourselves wanting to share secrets because we love gossiping or we don’t really care about the person, so we just want the goods on them.

If someone is gossiping TO you, they’re gossiping ABOUT you.

The only way to have healthy honest relationships is to be trustworthy.

 

You can’t do that if you run your mouth whenever you learn someone’s darkest awful.

 

No toxic people allowed! that should be on the front door | Toxic ...

 

10. You make passive-aggressive comments.

 

Healthy relationships begin at the intersection of trust and safety.

We can build both trust and safety by communicating clearly.

Making passive-aggressive comments, though, is the exact opposite of clear communication.

 

Passive-aggression is actual aggression that is spilling over. It usually means that we’re hurt and angry and need to communicate something directly to our friend, loved one, etc.

 

Here are some examples:

“Why are you getting upset?”
“I was only joking.”
“I told you I’m fine.”

 

These sorts of comments throw the other person off-kilter and make them wonder wtf is going on.

 

How To Stop

 

If you can relate to any of the points I listed above, you’ve done the first step by identifying some of your toxic behaviors. We can’t change things we aren’t aware of.

 

To move forward and reduce and then eliminate these undesirable actions, work on recognizing why and when you act out on these behaviors.

Is it only when you’re around certain people or settings? Is it because you’re feeling fearful? Deprived?

Are you wanting to fit in?

Or are you being just a little self-centered?

If you struggle to figure this out or want to make sure you tackle these issues, get help.

 

I personally got a lot of benefit from working with a therapist.

 

Identifying ugly traits about yourself isn’t fun, but it’s necessary to make real lasting change.

 

Be kind to yourself. Know that things won’t get fixed overnight, but you can keep learning as you go.

 

One day hopefully, you’ll become the kind of person no one would ever call “toxic.”

 


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12 Mindfulness Hacks You Can Use in 24 Hours

Mindfulness is all the rage these days, and with good reason.

 

Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety.

 

A new study from the University of Oxford even found that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is as effective as antidepressants in preventing depression relapses.

 

What is Mindfulness?

 

What may at first seem like senseless hippie jargon is actually quite simple — mindfulness teaches an individual to observe his or her own behavior and thought process totally devoid of judgment. Individuals acknowledge their feelings and thoughts, then release them.

 

Mindfulness teaches individuals to be present in and embrace the moments of life, rather than be suffocated by the constant self-criticism and anxiety that so often plagues our minds.

 

12 Mindfulness Hacks in 24 Hours

 

Practicing mindfulness isn’t just for the Zen Buddhists, sitting in lotus flower positions on the tops of snow-capped mountains. In fact, you can practice numerous mindfulness techniques in a single day.

In the Morning

 

1. Start a Mindful Morning Routine.

 

When waking up in the AM, instead of going about business as usual and thinking ahead about the upcoming meetings, reports, and stresses of the day ahead, give attention to the physical elements of your morning routine. Feel the water on your skin when you shower, smell the shampoo and soap, notice how your brush feels as it smooths your hair, and hear the sound your toothbrush makes rubbing against your teeth.

 

2. Coffee Concentration.

 

Buddhist monks have a form of meditation involving a tea ceremony, in which monks devote utmost concentration to every aspect of the tea. You can do this with your own morning drink. Listen to the sounds of your coffee maker at it brews your drink and the smell the aroma. Study the color of your

 

coffee, watching how it changes when you add milk or cream. Feel the warmth of the mug in your hands. Then, finally, study the taste in measured sips. Eating and drinking are everyday practices we often take for granted, but they can easily become mindfulness exercises that can be utilized throughout the day.

3. Exercise to Connect With Body.

 

Exercise presents another opportunity for mindfulness, as you focus on your breathing, your form, and your body’s movement. If you’re running, listen to the pounding sound of your feet on the pavement. If you’re lifting weights, feel the cool metal bar in your hands. Don’t let negative thoughts and distractions slip in.

 

Afternoon Moments of Zen

 

4. Sketch a Doodle.

 

Grab a notepad and pencil, find a subject, and get sketching. Don’t write this one off believing yourself to have no artistic talent. Anyone (yes, really, truly anyone) can draw. It only takes practice. Choosing a subject is simple — you can even draw the Starbucks cup sitting on your desk.

Begin drawing by choosing a point on your subject to start drawing from.

 

Then, follow the lines of the object with your eyes and pencil. Study the subtle indentations, the gentle curves, and the shadows cast by the cup. Sketching is a great study in mindfulness, requiring concentration and awareness. Plus, your sketch can be as simple or as detailed as you’d like, serving as a great short or long break from constant screen time.

 

5. Take Time to Stretch.

 

Take a mid-day break from the office and step outside to do some basic stretching. Stretching is good for maintaining a healthy body, and taking the opportunity to study how your muscles move and feel is a great opportunity for mindfulness.

 

6. A Few Minutes of Deep Breathing.

 

Focused breathing is an often-cited mantra of meditation pros and yogis, and not without reason. We breathe constantly, but are almost always unconscious of its activity. Taking the time to focus on breathing helps individuals find connection with their bodies.

 

Try this almost laughably simple breathing exercise: Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, breathing in air from your belly rather than your chest. Pause a moment, holding in your breath, before letting the air out slowly through your mouth. It’s that simple, just rinse and repeat!

 

7. Ongoing Check-Ins.

 

Pause regularly throughout the day and assess the state of your body and mind. How is your posture? Are you clenching your jaw? Are you thirsty? You may be surprised what you learn about yourself through these regular check-ins. Try to practice these mini check-ins every hour or so. Some individuals use periodic vibrating smart watch alarms to serve as quick reminders to collect themselves and refocus.

In The Evening

 

8. Take Out the Ear Buds.

 

When walking home from work or jumping on a bus, avoid the temptation to put in your ear buds. Instead, focus on what is happening around you. Hear the birds singing, listen to the children playing on the nearby jungle gym, and be fully present.

 

9. Meditative Mind Dump.

 

Dedicate 10–15 minutes to sitting down with just a pen and a pad of paper. Use this time to write out any and all thoughts that are swirling about in your mind. Not only will writing down your thoughts help clear your mind and relieve built-up stress, but you also may stumble upon some genius ideas that were previously buried.

 

10. Clear Mind (And Dishes) With Chores.

 

Arriving home to be greeted by mountains of dirty dishes is far from fun. Instead of attacking your dishes, laundry, and garbage duties with dread, turn those burdensome chores into mindfulness exercises. Feel the water on your hands (or gloves) and study the texture of the sponge as you go about cleaning dishes. Take care to concentrate on the shape and weight of the plates, bowls, and utensils as you clean them.

 

11. Get Lost In The Music.

 

Music can be another handy tool for practicing mindfulness as part of your everyday routine. Ideally, choose a song you’ve never heard before and hit play. Avoid letting your mind drift into thoughts about the song’s genre, artist, and lyrical meaning. Instead, simply listen with attention to the song, following the beats and crescendos while keeping your mind quiet.

 

12. Try A Guided Meditation.

 

As the mindfulness movement grows in popularity, more apps and resources are becoming available to aid you in your journey. Check out popular apps like Headspace and Calm. You may also try listening one of the many guided meditation videos on YouTube, which are especially calming when you’re getting ready to power down before bed.

 

What mindfulness tactics do you employ in your average day?

 

 

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Glad To Be Alive The Path To Adulthood – Healing The Pain Becoming The Adult Overcoming Loneliness – Part Two How To Overcome Loneliness How We End Up In Misery How To Deal With Loneliness Emotional Abuse Test Emotional Health – What Millions Still Don’t Know Emotional Insecurity Help You Have Emotion You Have Beliefs You Have Choice You Are Enough You Are Loved You Have A Heart

EMOTIONAL HEALTH –

The degree to which you open up to and embrace the life energy that you use as raw material for your thoughts and feelings.

EMOTIONAL HEALING –

Removing the gunk that clogs up and inhibits the flow of life energy moving through you.

EMOTION –

A fusion of thought and feeling that expands your consciousness.

 

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Positive Emotions

How do you define positive emotions? 

 

If we look at a whole range of positive emotions—from amusement to awe to interest to gratitude to inspiration—what they all have in common is that they are reactions to your current circumstances.  Positive emotions have a kind of alluring glitter dust on them. You want to rea­rrange your day to get more of those sparkling moments.

Positive emotions tell us not just what the body needs but what we need mentally and emotionally and what our future selves might need. They help us broaden our minds and our outlook and build our resources down the road.  Understanding positive emotions entails the study of contentment with the past, happiness in the present, and hope for the future.

 

Read more: How to Maintain and Enhance Positive Emotions



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6 Times When Your Intuition Is Never Wrong
There are moments when it is wise to ask for a second opinion. Then, there are these situations, when no one knows the best answer but you.
6 Times When You Must Trust Yourself     Read more...
 
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Personal Growth Courses

 

Free Online Courses To Inspire Personal Growth


The powerful lessons in these personal growth courses contain thought-provoking essays, quotes from some of the greatest thinkers ever, beautiful photos, moving online videos, and empowering exercises designed to inspire and bring greater understanding and deeper meaning to your life. Promote your personal growth and treat yourself to the treasure chest of inspiration and education here.

 

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These thought-provoking lessons generally take one to two hours to complete. The purpose of every lesson is to empower us all to be more effective and inspiring in building a brighter future.

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Positive Individual Traits

Traits of human consciousness; or perhaps we can call them the endowments of human character, or simply character or positive individual traits.



Understanding positive individual traits consists of the study of the strengths and virtues, such as the capacity for love and work, courage, compassion, resilience, creativity, curiosity, integrity, self-knowledge, moderation, self-control, and wisdom.

 

Everybody has their own personal traits which can be determined arguably either hereditary or by the environment in which a person grew up in.  They can be defined as the sum of the total physical, mental, emotional and social characteristics of an individual or by the pattern of thoughts, feelings and behavior which makes them unique.

 

Some people wake up excited to face the day while others pull the covers over their heads.  Do you realize your positive traits?

 

Attitudes toward life colors everything. Those who have a positive attitude do better at work, have stronger relationships with family and friends and get sick less often. Every individual is unique, but those with positive attitudes tend to share certain traits. Surrounding themselves with positive people, they manage to keep a youthful outlook no matter how old they are.

 

Be Grateful

 

Positive individuals give thanks for everything they have. People who focus on what is missing from their lives end up feeling frustrated and jealous of others. An upbeat attitude helps positive people see things from a different perspective. Looking at how far they have come, instead of how far they have to go, helps to keep positive people on the path to success. A positive person focuses on the goods things in life, not the bad.

Live in the Moment

 

Holding onto past hurts and disappointments can keep anyone from moving forward. Another characteristic of a positive person is the ability to let go of the past. Everyone makes mistakes in life, there is no way around it. However, positive people learn from their slip-ups in order to avoid similar ones in the future. Positive people make peace with their pasts and keep their eyes on the future. By forgiving themselves and other people, these individuals put their energy into moving forward, not backward.

Laugh

 

One secret for remaining positive is to laugh every day. Seeing the humor in life is important. No one should take things seriously all the time. Spending some time being goofy or joking around with friends helps people focus on the good things in life, not the bad. Positive individuals find ways to laugh. Funny movies, humorous books and jokes can keep anyone giggling instead of being a grouch.

Relax

 

Those with positive attitudes make sure they take some time for themselves every day. Outdoor physical activity helps release tension and relieves anxiety. Working on a favorite hobby or volunteering to work with the less fortunate are ways to boost gratitude and happy thoughts. Yoga is known for calming the mind and relaxing the body. Experts agree that daily practice can help relax and center even the most stressed-out individuals. Nurturing all parts of their personalities gives positive people the strength to face the day to day challenges of their lives.

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Positive Institutions



 

The enhancement of strengths.



Understanding positive institutions entails the study of the strengths that foster better communities, such as justice, responsibility, civility, parenting, nurturance, work ethic, leadership, teamwork, purpose, and tolerance.

 

There are many types of individual strengths such as character, talents, skills and knowledge.  By enchancing the use of one's strenghts in daily life, one can expect increased well-being.  Organizations that support employees strengths discovery and use will find it is not only good for the individual, but for the business.  Through your strengths you can find yourself in a state of flow, lose track of time, become absorbed in your work and function at the highest level of productivity.

 

What could be possible if your workplace was a positive institution?

  • A high pathway to well-being is positive institutions.  positive institutions enable your use of positive traits which enhance positive experiences and emotions.
  • Part of the positive experience is finding meaning in what we do.
  • While we experience positive emotions we build sustainable physical, psychological, emotional and social resources.

Read more: You have the Power

 

 A Time and Place For Everything


Positive people do not fight every battle. Letting go of small issues will free up time to work on more important things. Sure, they may be disappointed that a co-worker got the better cubicle, but, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. Instead of complaining about their workspace, positive people focus on improving their performance. They know a sunny cubicle won't seem so important when they are sitting in the corner office.

 

Being Part of Your Community

 

Being a part of a community is sometimes taken for granted.  Many of us have a baseline of social groups we have been a part of ranging from playgroups when small, school classes, work associates and friends mixed in between. But what if you haven’t had the opportunity to make connections with social groups you relate to? Or what if past relationships have faded away and you are suddenly having to “make friends” as an adult?

 

We should recognize that finding a social group that you want be a part of is not always easy. What if you are having trouble finding groups of people you can relate to?  What if you can’t find programs where you feel you “fit in”?

 

Get involved!

 

Challenge youself to take advantage of the past experience to meet new friends, become a part of a welcoming and enriching community, or bring old friends together to reunite.

 

Volunteer - Community volunteering refers to volunteers who work to improve community enhancement efforts in the area in which they live.  Neighborhood, church, and community groups play a key role in building strong cities from the neighborhoods up.  Supporting these understaffed groups can enable them to succeed in a variety of areas, which connect social, environmental, and economic boundaries.

 

 

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