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10 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Older if You Aren’t Careful

Unless you put in the effort now

image by Gert Stockmans from

Why is this topic crucial to a life well lived?

Because thinking carefully about the things we are likely to regret can help re-calibrate and re-focus how we live.


#1- Following the Crowd In Order to Fit In or Earn Approval

You will regret all the times you said yes when you’d rather have said no.

You’ll regret having become a false self, both physically and emotionally, in order to try and impress others, gain approval, garner desire, and fit in.


You’ll wish you had the confidence and daring to do what you wanted to do and what felt authentic for you, rather than what society and others were pressuring you to.


You will feel sad that you changed yourself, mentally, physically, or emotionally, in order to fit into society or impress others, rather than stayed strong and remained who you truly are.

You’ll be annoyed you didn’t follow your own heart and, instead, followed in the footsteps and influence of other people.


#2- Not Taking Chances

This could be trying out that new job that excites you, though feels like a risk.


It could be making the leap and moving to a new place that intrigues you, to give it a chance.

It could be asking out that person who has captured your interest, but who you are intimidated to talk to.

It might be letting go of a relationship that is no longer good or healthy for you, though which means leaping into the unknown.

It might mean taking a gamble on getting that degree to then enter the career path that calls to you.

It can mean reaching out and apologizing to someone you love who is upset with you. Swallowing your pride, taking responsibility for your behavior, humbling yourself, and risking reaching out.


For many of these, though certainly not all, you’ll regret not having taken the chance, not having given it a shot.


You will then be left wondering, what if?

What could have been?

Why didn’t I do it?

What was I so afraid of?

Why did I play it so safe? What might I have missed out on?


“It is not the things we do in life that we regret on our death bed.

It is the things we do not.”

— Randy Pausch


#3- Not Putting In the Effort Toward Your Health and Fitness

This point relates to everything health-wise.

  • Exercising several times a week (ideally every day)
  • Sleeping enough
  • Eating healthfully (which takes discipline, and often means saying no to something you want to consume but know is harmful to your body)
  • Not eating wheat or sugar. I realize not everyone will agree, but that’s ok. A lot of science says otherwise. Grain Brain by Dr. Perlmutter, Wheat Belly by Dr. Davis, The Perfect Health Diet by two doctors and Ph.D. studies, The Paleo Manifesto by John Durant, The Case Against Sugar by Gary Taubes, Why We Get Fat and What We Can Do About It by Gary Taubes, and The Paleo Diet all say this over and over, and point to research on it. Wheat destroys our bodies and brains. It causes diabetes, heart problems, gives you a belly, wrecks your skin, is addicting, and even contributes to Alzheimer's. Sugar does several of those same things.
  • Not sitting for hours every day but, instead, moving around a lot
  • Stretching routinely
  • Paying close attention and attending to your mental health
  • Laughing and playing often
  • Drinking enough water (and it’s likely more than you think since most people move through their days partially dehydrated)
  • Not eating every couple of hours and instead, keeping several hours between meals (aka, not snacking)

You will regret not doing this.


Especially when health issues later befall you, such as heart problems, diabetes, weight gain, joint issues, Alzheimer's (which, according to both Grain Brain by Dr. David Perlmutter and Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker, Ph.D. is caused by both not getting enough sleep and eating wheat).

You will then wish you’d decided more often on discipline.


Said “no” more often to certain things, and pushed yourself to get up and do other things.

It is so much easier to stay fit and maintain your health now than to let it fall by the wayside and deal with it later when you have health problems.


It takes months and years to get in good shape, but only a few weeks of unhealthy living to destroy it.

That’s why you should build habits and put in the effort now, today, that allows you to create and maintain your physique, your musculoskeletal system, and a healthy heart circulation system.


Don’t keep putting off doing that work until later on.

Don’t keep making exceptions and excuses.

You will have to ask yourself, in many moments, is it worth it for 5-minutes of delicious taste now in exchange for possible health problems later?

The more often you decide to just go ahead and eat it, you are likelier to have the health problems in exchange.

If you want to live an able-bodied, long, healthy life, you must do this, and yes, it often means making tough choices. It will be worth it, though, as you have your health for decades.


#4- Staying Within Your Bubble

This is similar to not taking chances.

Staying in your bubble, though, is more like never trying to make new friends.

It’s always eating at the same restaurants.

It’s staying in the same job for your entire life.

It’s not letting go of the relationships in your life that are unhealthy or make you unhappy, but clinging out of comfort and history.

It’s always sticking to the same habits and routines.

It’s never pushing or challenging yourself.

It’s never daring. It’s always taking the easy, more comfortable way.

This, too, you are highly likely to regret.


#5- Not Biting the Bullet and Making Time For the Things Important to You

This can be anything.

The book you talked about writing for years and never did.

That you wanted to learn to play guitar and never put in the effort.

That you kept thinking you’d spend more time with your kids or your beloved pet, and instead, put it off, and put it off.


You were going to get fitter, and every single day, you picked sitting on the couch instead.

You wanted to change your diet but continued to eat whatever tastes great with little to no discipline. You yearned to go back to school and get that degree, but it felt too daunting work-wise, so you never did.

You will regret all the things you wanted to do, the things you were passionate about, the goals you had, the things that made your interest ignite, and you never put time or effort toward them.


#6- Complaining All the Time

The world is always going to have a ton of problems.

Sometimes it will look worse than at other times.


This is NOT to say we shouldn’t acknowledge and speak about these things.

We should and we must.

Otherwise, there is no hope of ever changing them.


But, to ruminate on them and complain all the time, only diminishes our quality of life even more.

It wrecks your mental health, makes your life a more unhappy one, and will alienate a lot of good people around you.


Life will always be hard in numerous ways.

There will also always be a lot of joy and great aspects of living.


Choose to (more of the time) focus on the positive aspects of life, what you can change about what you don’t like in the world (and then do it), and otherwise, what makes being alive so great.


When the end of your life comes, you will regret not having done this.



#7- Not Putting In the Time Toward Your Friendships (and other meaningful social connections)

Think of the special, emotionally close, rare friends you’ve had during your life.

These types of connections do not grow on trees.


Maybe you’ve had a handful, in which case, you are lucky.

Some people have had none.

Friends are easy to find.

Genuine, truly awesome friends with whom you have a deep connection?

Those are harder.


You will regret later on, not having put in the time and effort to keep these special connections in your life.

You will feel sad about not having put in the work to maintain these relationships.

And yes, it does take some work.

Over the big picture, though?

It is so, so worth it.


Google “the benefits of friendship” to be reminded of why.

Then, go hang out with a close friend of yours, with no cell phones insight, and truly revel and engage in the connection fully.

With that person, in person.

You will then know what I’m talking about.


#8- Not Reading More

Books offer us so many riches.

An endless amount really.

You can learn anything from books.

How to speak a language, how to garden, baking or cooking, health science, dog training, engineering, new insights about friendship and romantic relationships, what living in another culture might be like, and what it might feel like to live as someone of a different gender, race, or sexuality from you.


Books transport us to other worlds and perspectives.


They give us the chance to live numerous other lives, apart from our own.

They gift us with entertainment, joy, imagination, and provocation of thought.

There are millions of books out there for the taking, and on every subject, you could imagine.

There is literally something out there for everyone.

The other purpose and gift of books? They can make you a better person, a healthier person, a kinder person, a wiser person, if you let them and are open to it.

This is part of the point of reading. To read something, learn from it, and then incorporate it into your life.

Not every book will do this, necessarily, but a lot of them can and will if you let them and put the effort in.

Not reading is a huge, huge loss and thing to miss out on. It may be something you later regret not having done more of.



#9- Not Playing More

Children play.

Adults tend not to do as much.

We’re taught that play is “silly” and something to be shy about.

Not so, though.


Check out the work of Brene Brown.

She speaks to this topic and how important it is for our mental well-being, our relationships, and our sense of creativity.


Play can look like many things.

Having a water balloon fight.


Playing board games.

Writing and performing a skit for loved ones.

Watching a comedy show.

Telling jokes.

Writing a goofy rhyme, poem, or rap.

Being silly with friends and family.

Making up zany rules for a usual game you play.

Holding a contest with colleagues, friends, or loved ones.

Having an off-the-wall competition with colleagues, friends, or loved ones.


You get the idea.

Play. It brings you closer to your social connections.

It’s good for your mental health and creativity. It lowers your stress.

Later on, you’ll wish you had.



#10- Working Too Much

Granted, if you’re from America, you are up against a tough culture, work-wise.

We have a hard time with work-life balance, plus some of the least vacation time of any developed country, as well as, zero paid maternity leave, and usually crappy allotted sick time as well.

So, this is a difficult one.


Still, it is possible to push back on this, depending on your situation and means.

It’s likely worth trying to do so since working too much is one of the top regrets of the elderly.


In fact, it’s #2 in Bronnie Ware’s bestselling book, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

She says: “This regret came from every male patient that I nursed.

They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.


Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.


All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”


“By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do.

And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.”


In conclusion, some things you may regret when older, if not purposefully, mindfully attended to now, are likely to include:

  • Following the crowd in order to fit in or gain approval
  • Not taking chances
  • Not putting in discipline and effort toward your health
  • Staying within your small bubble
  • Not making the time and effort for the things important to you
  • Complaining all the time
  • Not putting priority and energy toward your great friendships
  • Not reading more
  • Not playing more
  • Working too much



Do You Feel Old?

It Could Be Aging You

News Picture: Do You Feel Old? It Could Be Aging You

By Amy Norton HealthDay Reporter


TUESDAY, Jan. 18, 2022


People who believe their bodies and minds will break down with age may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, a recent study suggests.

Researchers found that older adults with a dim outlook on aging tended to report more physical health symptoms on days when they were stressed out than on less stressful days.


In contrast, people with more of a "golden years" perspective seemed to have some protection against daily stress: They actually reported fewer health problems on days where they felt more stressed than usual.


"We've known that there's a strong relationship between perceived stress and physical health," said lead researcher Dakota Witzel, a doctoral candidate at Oregon State University's College of Public Health and Human Sciences, in Corvallis.


Numerous studies have found that when people habitually feel stressed out they may eat poorly, skip exercise, and have long-term consequences like high blood pressure and an increased risk of heart disease.

But the new findings, Witzel said, suggest that a brighter outlook on aging can be a buffer against the physical effects of daily stress.


That is not to say that people are to blame for their physical symptoms, she noted, or that anyone should ignore symptoms with a smile.

But people should be aware that their perceptions of the aging process may affect how they feel, and "reframe" that story if needed, according to Witzel.


The findings — published recently in the Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences — are based on 105 Oregonians aged 52 to 88. Over 100 days, they completed daily surveys on their stress levels and a range of physical symptoms — such as fatigue, aches and pains, shortness of breath, and upset stomach.

At the outset, participants completed a standard questionnaire on attitudes toward aging. It asked whether they agreed with statements like, "As you get older, you are less useful."

On average, the study found, people tended to report more physical symptoms on days where their perceived stress was higher than their personal norm.

However, it turned out that connection depended on whether people had a positive or negative outlook on aging: If it was the "glass-half-empty" variety, high-stress days brought more physical symptoms.

That was not the case for people with a more positive outlook on aging.


What shapes a person's perceptions of aging?

According to Witzel, throughout life, people "internalize" messages from the media as well as folks in their lives, consciously or not.

If your parents or grandparents remained upbeat and vibrant as they grew older, your ideas on aging are probably different from someone whose older relatives were riddled with health problems, or complained about aging.

But attitudes toward aging probably also reflect a person's general disposition, according to James Maddux, a senior scholar with George Mason University's Center for the Advancement of Well-Being, in Fairfax, Va.

"It seems like this is really getting at optimism versus pessimism," said Maddux, who reviewed the findings.

That is, whether you "dread" or "celebrate" aging probably has a lot to do with how you see life in general.

People who perceive the glass as half-full and have a sense of self-efficacy, Maddux said, are less likely to "catastrophize" physical symptoms and instead see them as manageable.


He noted that the study captured people's subjective responses — their perceived stress and whether they sensed symptoms.

And pessimistic people may be especially likely to feel stressed and be "hypervigilant" for physical symptoms.

So it's not necessarily the case that a bad attitude toward aging is a cause of older people's stress and symptoms.

Instead, those tendencies likely co-exist in the same person, according to Maddux.

"It's like a circle, so there's no starting point," he said.




Exercises for Seniors: Tips for Core, Balance, Stretching See Slideshow

But that's good news, Maddux noted: "It means there are more places to intervene."


You cannot simply tell people to "be optimistic," he said.

But research shows that people can, for instance, learn to interpret physical symptoms differently — to refrain from a habit of catastrophizing.

Bodily pain is not solely a physical experience. And it's important, Maddux said, to be aware that our mental states affect our pain perceptions and responses.


"The pain you feel is a signal from your brain," he noted.

Maddux also encouraged people of all ages to recognize the link between pain and sedentary behavior. Making physical activity a lifelong habit can be a boon to physical and mental health.


More information

The American Psychological Association has more on managing pain.


SOURCES: Dakota Witzel, MS, PhD candidate, undergraduate course instructor, College of Public Health and Human Sciences, Oregon State University, Corvallis, Ore.; James Maddux, PhD, senior scholar, Center for the Advancement of Well-Being, George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.; Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences, Jan. 10, 2021


Conditions That Affect Men and Women Differently

Heart Attack

Women are more likely to experience upper back pressure, jaw pain, and shortness of breath when they have a heart attack.

The telltale heart attack sign of feeling like there's an elephant sitting on your chest isn't as common in women as it is in men. Many women feel upper back pressure, jaw pain, and are short of breath. Or they may feel nauseated and dizzy instead. Though heart disease is the leading cause of death for both genders in the U.S., women are more likely to die after they have a heart attack.


Multiple Sclerosis

Men experience more severe symptoms of diseases that affect the immune system.

Diseases that affect the immune system are often more severe in men. For example, MS affects many more women than men overall, but when it comes to the progressive form (PPMS), men get it in equal numbers to women. PPMS tends to be harder to diagnose and treat than the relapsing remitting form of MS.



Women are more likely than men to have unusual symptoms associated with stroke.

Nearly 55,000 more women than men have strokes each year in the U.S. Common symptoms are sudden weakness on one side, loss of speech and balance, and confusion. But women often have additional or different symptoms: fainting, agitation, hallucinations, vomiting, pain, hiccups, and seizures. Women typically have a worse recovery after a stroke, too.





STDs may have more serious consequences for women than for men.

Women are less likely to have symptoms with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like chlamydia and gonorrhea. STDs can also lead to chronic pelvic inflammatory disease in women, causing fertility issues. Men seldom have such complications. The human papillomavirus (HPV) is also the main cause of cervical cancer in women, but it doesn't pose a similar risk for men.


Hair Loss

Men are more likely to experience hair loss than women.

Men are far more likely to lose hair as they age than women. Some 40% of women will have hair thinning or hair loss, but 85% of men will have thinning hair by age 50. Men tend to lose hair in the same pattern -- their hairline goes farther and farther back. (This is called a receding hairline.) They may also get a bald spot on the crown of their head. Women have either thinning all over or random bald patches.



Women are more prone to acne than men due to fluctuating hormone levels.

Hormones are often to blame for acne. Because women's hormones shift during periods, pregnancy, and throughout menopause, they're more prone to adult acne than men. Treatment can vary based on your sex, too. Doctors tend to prescribe meds that control hormones, like birth control, for women. Creams that you rub onto your skin are more common for men.



Women may experience more physical symptoms of stress compared to men.

Women are more likely to say they're stressed than men. Both sexes feel anger, crankiness, and muscle tension at near the same rates from stress, but women more often say it causes a headache, upset stomach, or makes them feel like they need to cry. Men are less likely to feel physical symptoms during times of stress than women.



Women get more UTIs than men but the condition is more complicated in men.

Although women tend to get urinary tract infections (UTIs) more often, men's UTIs are more complicated. They have different causes, too. Women most often get them because of bacteria from sex or poop (their urethra is shorter and closer to that area). Men's UTIs are more likely to arise from something that blocks their urine stream, like an enlarged prostate or kidney stones.




Women are more likely than men to experience chronic pain that doesn't respond to treatment.

More women live with chronic pain (pain that lasts longer than 6 months and doesn't seem to respond to treatment) than men. Their pain also tends to last longer and be more intense. Doctors are still trying to figure out why, but they think differences in hormones between the sexes may be to blame.



Women are more likely to get osteoporosis and the condition is often overlooked in men.

Because women are more likely to get osteoporosis, it's often overlooked in men. But men who have this lack of bone density and break a hip are twice as likely to die than women with osteoporosis who break a hip.



Healthy Aging: Foods That Age You



Foods high in fiber helps with constipation that becomes common with age.


Foods that are high in fiber -- like fruits and veggies, oatmeal, nuts, and legumes -- can help with constipation that becomes more common as you age.

They're also able to help lower your cholesterol levels, manage your blood sugar, and keep you at a healthy weight. If you're a man who's 51 or older, aim to eat 30 grams of fiber each day.

If you're a woman, try for about 21 grams.



Whole Grains

Whole grains are a great source of fiber and rich in B-vitamins.


They're a great source of fiber and rich in B-vitamins, which you'll need more of as you age.

B-6 and folate are key to keeping your brain healthy.

Even a small shortage can make a subtle difference.

Whole grains could also cut your chances of getting heart disease, cancer, and diabetes.

Don't stop at whole-wheat bread, though.

Quinoa, wheat berries, and whole-wheat couscous are tasty options, too.




Tree nuts have big anti-aging powers.


Yes, they're small, but tree nuts like almonds, walnuts, cashews, pecans, and pistachios have big anti-aging powers.

These crunchy snacks contain special nutrients that can help delay or prevent age-related heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, nerve disease, and some types of cancer.

Nuts also protect your brain as you age.




Water is food for your health in lots of ways.


As you go up in years, not only does your body lose water, but your sense of thirst starts to fade.

That means it will take you longer to know when you're low on fluids.

Water is food for your health in lots of ways.

It cushions your joints, helps control your body temperature, and affects your mood and how well you focus. Make eight glasses of water each day your goal.




Fatty fish are high in DHA, an omega-3 fatty acid that's good for your brain.


Fatty fish like salmon, albacore tuna, herring, and farmed trout should be on your menu twice a week. The reason?

They're high in DHA, an omega-3 fatty acid that's good for your brain.

Low levels of DHA have been linked to Alzheimer's disease, but get enough of it, and you may improve your memory and ability to learn new things.

If you don't eat or like fish, algae, walnuts, flaxseed, and chia seeds are also good sources of DHA.



Lean Protein

Protein-rich foods fight the natural muscle loss that happens as you get older.


Protein-rich foods fight the natural muscle loss that happens as you get older.

As much as you can, enjoy your protein in "real" food like eggs, lean meat, and dairy products instead of protein powders that may not give you as many nutrients.



Dairy Products

The calcium in dairy keeps your bones healthy.


The calcium in dairy keeps your bones healthy.

As you get older, it can also lower your risk of osteoporosis, colon cancer, and high blood pressure.

After age 50, you'll need 1,200 milligrams of calcium each day, which you can get through fat-free and low-fat dairy products.

Milk and cheese aren't you're only options.

You can still hit your calcium goal through things like yogurt, rice and soy drinks, fortified orange juice, and tofu.




Blueberries contain polyphenols that lower inflammation throughout your body.


They're a tasty way to protect your brain as you age.

Blueberries contain polyphenols -- compounds that lower inflammation throughout your body.

They lessen damage to your DNA that can make some diseases more likely.

They also improve how well your brain cells "talk" to each other.

Fresh blueberries are best, since their polyphenol content goes down when you bake them into muffins, bread, or pies.



Red- and Orange-Colored Produce

Colored produce protect you against cancer and strokes, too.


Watermelon, strawberries, tomatoes, red and orange bell peppers -- these fruits and veggies are rich in a natural compound called lycopene.

Studies show foods that have it could lower your risk of some types of cancer and may protect you against strokes, too.



Cruciferous Vegetables

Cruciferous vegetables could help shore your immune system up.


The more candles on your birthday cake, the weaker your immune system -- your body's defense against germs.

Cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, Brussels sprouts, and cauliflower could help shore it up.

They have a chemical called sulforaphane that switches on your immune cells so they're better able to attack toxins that damage your cells and cause disease over time.

Eat them often, and you may lower your risk of some types of cancer.



Dark Leafy Greens

Dark leafy greens lower chances of getting cataracts and macular degeneration.


o keep your eyes healthy, eat more veggies like spinach, kale, and collard greens.

The antioxidants they contain can lower your chances of getting cataracts and macular degeneration.

Eat at least one serving a day, and you'll also help stave off the slow-down in memory, thinking, and judgment that can happen as you get older.




Avocado improves your memory and help you solve problems faster.


You've got plenty of good reasons to perfect your guacamole recipe.

Studies show that the antioxidants in avocado could improve your memory and help you solve problems faster.

Avocados may also lower your cholesterol, cut your chance of getting arthritis, help you stick to a healthy weight, and protect your skin from sun damage.



Sweet Potato

Vitamins in sweet potatoes is key for healthy eyesight and skin.


Sweet potatoes have plenty of beta carotene, which your body turns into vitamin A.

This vitamin is key for healthy eyesight and skin.

It also keeps your immune system strong.

You'd have to eat 23 cups of cooked broccoli to get as much vitamin A as you'll find in one medium sweet potato.

For an extra boost, choose a purple variety.

The compounds that give it a bright color may slow down age-related changes in your brain.




Spices help you stay healthy through the years.


They do more than give your food flavor. Spices have antioxidants that help you stay healthy through the years.

For instance, garlic helps keeps your blood vessels open.

Cinnamon can help lower your cholesterol and triglycerides (blood fats).

Turmeric may protect you from depression and Alzheimer's disease and may have anti-cancer powers, too.

Use either fresh or dried spices, but talk to your doctor before you take any supplements.








3 Things You Can Only Learn As You Get Older

There are surprising benefits to getting older

John Mashni


“There is a person, an 80-year old version of yourself, that is rooting hard for you to make good decisions today.”


Most young people don’t appreciate the true advantages of being young.

And most people, as they age, realize that with aging comes new problems and difficulties


Certainly, there are advantages to being young.

But there are also advantages that can come with age.

Some of the most successful, impactful, and powerful people are older than the rest of us.

Not everyone loves the aging process, but there are a few things that we can only learn as we get older and experience some of life’s challenges.


1. Relationships are Invaluable

“You can never replace someone who cares.”


One of the most poignant rules of life is that we often don’t understand the value of something until we lose it.


I remember being cast in the play, You Can’t Take It With You — a play about how people are more important than the “things” which don’t benefit us beyond the end of our lives.

It was a fantastic experience.

But it was also tragic.

One of the cast members — my friend Chris — was killed in a car accident on the way to rehearsal one day.

I even wrote an article about how Chris’s death has had an impact on my life.


It is difficult to value our relationships until those relationships end.


I remember so clearly one relationship that meant so much to me.

I had just moved from being an independent contractor to an employee for a startup.

I was driving over an hour to work each day. I was deemed part of the IT department, even though I mainly did marketing.

I sat next to a man named Dave for the first few years that I worked at this company.

Dave and I connected quickly and became good friends.

Dave was a smart and talented man.

We had a special friendship, as our desks were next to each other for a few years.

We had great conversations and became good friends.

He had even been drafted by a professional baseball team but an injury derailed his ability to pitch professionally.

Dave had made my job much more enjoyable.

I actually looked forward to work! People make all of the difference.

But Dave’s story does not end here, as I will share more about him soon.


Multiple times I have had the unenviable task of laying people off. It is one of the most difficult aspects of managing people.

But it taught me one of the most important lessons about people that I have ever learned: you may be able to form new relationships, but you can never replace someone who cares deeply about an organization, a role, or you.


You can never replace someone who cares.


If we want to purchase something, one of the first things we want to know is the price.

Often, the amount of money we need to buy something is how we gauge the value of that thing. If something costs a lot, it is valuable.

If something costs a little, then it is cheap or low in value.


Creating amazing relationships also has a cost.

But the cost rarely involves money. In fact, I learned something amazing about the cost of relationships in comparison to the cost of anything else:

Anything you can buy with money is worthless.

The true worth of our lives is not calculated with the amount of money or assets that we have acquired. Our true worth is tied to the number of people that we have served and the relationships that we have created.

I wish that I learned this lesson earlier in my life. We need money to live, obviously. But anything we can buy with money is worthless.

Over time, one of the best lessons we can learn is this: relationships are invaluable. Don’t wait until you are older to figure this out. Learn it now.


2. There Are No Ordinary Moments

“Right now counts forever.”

Author and speaker Dan Millman had it right when he wrote, “There are no ordinary moments.”


“No ordinary moments” means that every second count.

It means that we are grateful for every minute that we get to be alive.

It means that there is no such thing as a moment that is worth less than the rest.

When I watch sports, I think about what it feels like to be in a late-game situation, where the last-minute goal or score creates victory or causes defeat.

But when I compare the sporting event to my own life, there is no buzzer-beating shot.

There is no second-half rally.


Every second tick by in the same consistent fashion.


The film director Alfred Hitchcock once said that film is life with all of the boring parts taken out.

But if we start with the premise that there are no ordinary moments, then even the parts that we think are boring can become important.


Every interaction can impact the people around us. In fact, some interactions can impact people far longer than we expect.


For example, I remember one interaction that occurred over 25 years ago more clearly than nearly any other.

In fact, that one brief conversation has impacted every day of my life since that day, and will likely impact every day until I die.

Since that day, I have said “Good morning” as a greeting to nearly every person that I have come across.


That is not entirely unusual or unique, except that I say “Good morning” or just “Morning!” at all times of the day.


Why do I always say “Good morning” as a greeting?

It is because of one interaction.


During high school, I was having a stressful day.

I do not remember what caused the stress.

I arrived at my locker feeling the stress, and the girl with the locker next just looked at me and said “Good morning” in the happiest, bubbly tone.

I am not sure what happened, but the greeting completely changed my mood.

Instead of feeling the physical stress, I suddenly had a smile on my face.

If anyone that could say good morning with that much energy and joy, then I could certainly feel better.

Two words changed my mood.

Right then, I decided to try greeting people with a similar tone.

I started to say “Good morning” at all times of the day.

It morphed into just “Morning!” at times.

And I still say it to this day.


There are no ordinary moments.

Even a few words can have an incredible impact.

Imagine what we could do with more.


Why do we only learn this as we get older?


As we age, we realize that there is an end.

Thinking that there are no ordinary moments comes from recognizing that our time alive is limited. There is an end.

We may not know when or how our lives end.

But we do know that they will.

And if there is an end, then we are limited in what we can do.


There is a deadline, with no extensions.

We can’t collectively cram and get everything done the night before the due date, either.


There are no ordinary moments.

And right now can count forever.


3. Some Holes Cannot Be Filled

Asking for forgiveness is admirable, but it also does not heal all wounds.


Forgiveness provides a path for us to move forward in peace.

But forgiveness does not always make things how they were.

And sometimes, you can never go back to how things were.


I once heard a story that illustrates this lesson.


A young boy struggled with his temper.

The boy’s father decided to teach his son about anger and how to handle it without losing control. Every time the boy felt ready to explode with anger, the father told the boy to pound a nail into a wooden fence in their backyard.

The fence had dozens of nails in a few days.

But as time passed, fewer nails were added to the fence.

Eventually, the boy learned to control his temper and went a single day without any nails added to the fence.

The boy’s father then told the boy that he could remove a nail for each day that he did not get angry. Over time, the boy removed all of the nails in the fence.

He was so excited and proud.

The boy had learned a great lesson — how to control his temper.


The father then told the boy the lesson: “Look at this fence. You have resolved your anger, but all of the holes remain. Even though you are healed, the fence will never be the same. When you get angry or make a mistake, people may forgive you. But you will still leave holes. You may never be able to make things how they were.”


I have countless stories to share about this lesson.

But I will share just one.


Years ago, my co-worker and friend Dave who I mentioned above, was struck by nerve disease.

Over time, the nerve disease crippled my friend.

This was a man who had previously been drafted by a professional baseball team.

He threw so hard that I could barely catch a football that he threw right at me.

And this disease made it so he could not even lift up a fork or spoon.

He was bedridden.

Dave’s wife cared for him, and she sent an email asking his friends to visit him, as he would cherish those moments.

I remember so clearly thinking that I should go visit him and say hello.

But I kept putting it off.

I was busy.

I had so much to do.

I was building a career.

I was trying to start a family.

And then one day, I told myself that excuses are useless.

If he was my friend, I had to make time to see him.

That’s what friends do, right?

I emailed Dave’s wife to schedule a time to see my old friend.

I was so excited that I was finally taking the time to spend some time with Dave.

And here is when I learned one of the most painful lessons of my life.

Not long after I sent my email, I saw a note posted on Dave’s wife’s blog.

Dave had died recently.

He fought hard but was gone.

I waited too long.

Even though I eventually overcame my excuses, “eventually” was not enough.

Some holes cannot be filled.

Some lessons you can only learn by living through them.


If You Learn These Lessons, Your Age Is Valuable

“There is a person, a 80-year old version of yourself, that is rooting hard for you to make good decisions today.”


Some things you can only learn as you get older.


If I could communicate backward, I would love to give myself advice.

I would love to point out mistakes.

And I would love to make slight course corrections to move towards certain milestones faster.

But in the end, I can’t do any of those things.

I can’t change anything behind me, for better or worse.


But I can write about what I have learned.

And I can share some of the memories — and the pain.


Some things you can only learn as you get older.

But reading about them might help you learn them a little younger than when I did.


If you enjoyed this article, learn more about me (and stay in touch) at




Man Up! A Guide to Looking Great as You Get Older




Aging: The Surprises of Getting Older


Brain Changes for Aging Adults

Our brains change as we age.



There’s a bit of good news and a bit of bad news for aging adults when it comes to mental work.

Let’s start with the bad.

After your 30s, your ability to process information usually declines.

So does your capacity to remember things.

Maybe there’s some truth to the old saying that “the first thing to go is your memory.”

Your brain also becomes more “set” as you age, particularly after age 70, making it harder to produce novel ideas.


If all of this seems depressing, keep in mind that for a healthy adult, these changes are small on average.


There is an upside to aging, however, when it comes to your brain.

Older people get better and better at a variety of tasks that psychologists lump into a category called crystallized intelligence.

Crystallized intelligence refers to the accumulation of knowledge, skills, and abilities that have been practiced again and again.

Your vocabulary resists decline and continues to improve at least through middle age.

Other well-practiced skills such as arithmetic improve through middle age as well, and are also unlikely to decline as you grow older.



Making Friends

We tend to become more conscientious and agreeable as we age.


Psychologists once assumed that after a certain age, our personalities are more or less fixed in place. But more recent research is turning that old idea on its head, showing that people tend to become more conscientious and agreeable over time.


The study, which observed data from over 130,000 adults ages 21-60, found that beginning in your 30s, you are likely to become more conscientious as you age.


Conscientiousness in this case is associated with becoming more disciplined and organized. Similarly, people tend to become more agreeable—that is, more generous, warm, and helpful—as they enter their twilight years.



Sex Gets Better

Aging men and women are more and more sexually satisfied.


Think the flames of desire dampen as you age?

Studies show the opposite is true.

As people’s attitudes toward sex have relaxed over the course of the last century, reports of sexual satisfaction among seniors have increased.


Back in the 1970s, only four 70-year-old women out of 10 said they had high sexual satisfaction and only 58% of men at age 70.

More recently six women in 10 and 7 men in 10 say they have highly satisfying sex lives at 70.


That’s true for adults in their 80s as well, with half reporting sexual satisfaction “always” or “almost always.”

Why the change?

Partly it’s that more permissive attitudes contribute more freedom and sexual confidence.

But also older people are living more comfortably thanks to advances in modern medicine.

Erectile dysfunction has medical cures, and seniors are more likely than ever to seek medical treatment for all the aches and pains of daily life.



Taste Changes

Medicine, illness and other causes can make your tastes change in later life.


The way you taste your food can change as you age.


It could be medications.

Another culprit is an illness.

Respiratory diseases, allergies, and gum disease can affect your sense of taste and that other sense so crucial to the way food tastes—smell.

So as the way food tastes changes for you, you may find yourself changing your diet accordingly.


This can be good news if you choose to flavor your food with more herbs and spices.

But it could also be a problem if you find yourself reaching for the salt shaker time after time.

High sodium has been linked with a greater risk of cardiovascular problems, so finding healthier ways to intensify the flavors you enjoy could improve your health.



Hair Pops Up in New Places

Men and women grow hair in different places later in life.


Aging means finding hair in new places around your body.

This happens to both men and women, but it impacts both genders differently. This is because the changes are largely affected by hormones.


For men, nose and ear hair start to become more sensitive to testosterone.

These follicles are already there, but testosterone causes these hairs to become longer and more coarse. So while they may have been more or less invisible before, at a certain age you will likely find them standing out in ways they never had before.

To the disappointment of many men, the same isn’t true of the hair on the scalp, which tends to get smaller and grow less frequently, which explains male pattern baldness.


Hormonal changes in women can sometimes lead to a growth in facial hair.

As women near menopause, their bodies produce less estrogen.

That means testosterone holds greater sway.

And it’s this new balance of hormones that can cause the hair on your face to grow coarser and darker.



Sleep Changes and Aging

Older adults often have difficulty sleeping.


If you never thought of yourself as a morning person, that could change as you grow older.


Older adults typically find their sleep habits change in several ways, and one of these is a tendency to rise earlier.

As you age, you may sleep the same number of hours, or see that time slightly decrease.

But you may also spend more time in bed, as seniors tend to have more trouble falling asleep and may wake up more often in the middle of the night—three to four times a night on average.


You also dreamless as you age, as less of your sleep time is devoted to REM sleep.

The combination of these factors could make you feel like you’ve had less sleep, even if your total sleep time hasn’t changed.


When It's Unhealthy

Earlier we covered the normal sleep changes of aging.

But not all sleep changes are healthy or normal.

Chronic pain can intensify the tendency to sleep lighter and wake up more frequently.

Medications can keep you up at night, too.

Problems can also come from depression (which is more common in seniors), frequent urination, and various diseases such as heart failure.

As older people tend to be less active, this can affect sleep too—exercise helps when it comes to getting a full night’s sleep.


What Seniors Can Do About Sleep Problems

Sleep problems are frustrating at any age, but even if you’re an older adult there are ways to relieve many of these problems.

Here are some tips:

Many people who are frustrated by sleep problems will turn to sleep pills.

While these can occasionally offer some of the rest you need, avoid relying on them.

Sleeping pills can be habit-forming, and they can make sleep problems worse if they aren’t used properly.


If you feel you need sleeping pills, discuss them with a doctor who can guide you to pills that are safer, and give you tips on the proper way to take them.

Don’t drink alcohol while taking sleeping pills, because alcohol makes the negative side effects of all sleeping pills worse.

  • Do not nap.
  • Keep a regular sleep schedule, and avoid deviations.
  • When you find you can’t sleep, get out of bed and find a quiet activity to keep you occupied until you feel more tired. Reserve bedtime for sleep and sex.
  • Cut caffeine and other stimulants from your afternoons.
  • Don’t eat too big a meal before bed, which can make it harder to sleep.
  • Get some exercise earlier in the day. Many senior-friendly exercises are available. If you’re not sure how to put together a workout routine, discuss the matter with your doctor.



Seniors and Migraines

Some seniors experience fewer migraines as they age.


Do you suffer from migraines?

These distracting and typically painful headaches can ruin a good day.

But there’s a bright spot for migraine-sufferers after their 60s—you may be one of the lucky ones who experience fewer headaches with age.


One study found that for seniors, migraines are less frequent, less intense, and less likely to induce nausea and vomiting.

For some, they seem to disappear completely.

It’s possible that the same number of seniors still get migraines technically, but because those headaches are milder, they get diagnosed as tension headaches.

While many migraine symptoms become less likely, some symptoms become more common as you age, such as dry mouth, paleness, and loss of appetite.



For Long Life, Love What You Do

The satisfaction of work can lead to happiness as you age.


Many think a carefree, easy-going attitude will help sustain them to a ripe, old age.

But a major survey studied 1,500 people, throughout their lives, to learn what leads to a healthier, longer life.

Some of the results were surprising.

For instance, having a relaxed attitude toward work was associated with an earlier grave, while those who were most dedicated to their jobs lived longer.


The study, which began in 1921, had other surprises as well.

Researchers observed that optimistic children more prone to joking lived shorter lives than their more serious, but persistent, peers.

It also found that married men lived much longer on average than divorced men, but divorced women lived about as long as their married counterparts.

And while veterans of combat lived shorter lives on average, this seemed to be due to unhealthy patterns they developed later, but not due to the psychological trauma of war itself.



Falling and Fear Itself

Fear of falling can make falls worse.


Falls are scary things.

More than a quarter of all Americans over age 65 fall each year and each fall has roughly a one-in-five chance of causing serious injury.

These include head injuries and broken bones.

It’s easy to become scared of falling, whether you’ve ever experienced a bad fall or not.

But fear of falling actually makes people more vulnerable to falls.


It makes sense when you stop to think about it: A person who is afraid of falling is likely to be more timid and cautious about physical activity.

Because fear of falling can limit your physical activity, it can also make you weaker.

And weaker people are more prone to fall.


In other words, it’s sensible to be cautious about falls, but letting fear of falls slow you down has consequences, too. Here are some fear-free ways to reduce your risk:

  • Visit your eye doctor. Regular eye exams ensure you’re getting the right eyeglass prescription, which can help keep you more stable while walking. If you have bifocals, you might want to ask for a pair of glasses to use strictly for seeing at a distance.
  • Stay active. Maintain an exercise routine that focuses on leg strength and balance. These two factors can help you stay steady on the ground. One example of such an exercise is Tai Chi.
  • Talk to your doctor. Ask how much of a risk falling poses to you. Find out if any of your medications contribute to sleepiness or dizziness. Make sure you’re getting the right amount of vitamin D—both too little and too much vitamin D have been linked to a higher risk of falling.
  • Make your home safer from falls. Keep your floors free of clutter. Make sure all stairs have handrails on both sides. Add more or brighter lights inside your home to make sure you can see clearly as you move around. Have grab bars installed in the bathroom for both the tub and toilet.



Self Confidence

Self-confidence tends to increase up to the point of retirement.


Throughout our lives, our self-confidence continues to increase until we hit retirement age.

At this point, many see a swift, sharp drop in confidence.

Experts debate the reasons for this.

Some say it’s because retirement threatens the stability of our working life.

Others suggest that by leaving the workforce, retired seniors may feel that they aren’t contributing to family and society as they once did.


Not everyone is affected by retirement in the same way.

The study these findings are based on found that wealth and good health seem to protect against the self-confidence dip in retirement.

When people enjoy relationships that are supportive and satisfying, this also leads to better self-esteem than average over time.

But even people in good relationships experience a similar dip after retirement.



Living With Less Stress

Older generations live with less stress.


Stress poses serious consequences, whether it’s from work (or a lack of work), family pressures, bad habits, or nearly anything else.

Higher levels of stress make your body less capable of fighting off illness, and it’s been connected with heart disease and other health problems that could lead to a shorter, less healthy life.

That being the case, seniors have cause for celebration when it comes to stress: a major stress survey in America keeps showing that older generations live with less stress than younger people.


While a few more birthdays may put us at greater ease in life, those of us who do have intense or chronic stress may have fewer birthdays to look forward to.

Studies have shown that high levels of stress can age your body’s cells prematurely, and that can lead to an earlier death.



Age and Height

Almost everyone shrinks over time, and most don't realize it.


Do you know how tall you are?

Are you sure?

Researchers asked more than 8,500 women over 60 their height and then measured.

On average the women overestimated their height by an inch and had become two inches shorter than their highest recorded height.


Almost everyone shrinks as they age.

The reason has to do with your spine.

The cushion surrounding your spine dehydrates as you age.

The spine can also curve or collapse, which can lead to stooping, and even the arches of your feet may flatten, causing a shorter stature.

Every decade after age 40, the average person loses ½ an inch in height.

This speeds up after age 70.

There are ways to slow this process down, though.

Eating a healthier diet helps.

Specifically, eating a diet filled with fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and not too much healthy fat has been associated with less shrinking as you age.

Avoiding tobacco and limiting alcohol helps, too, as does getting plenty of exercise on a regular basis.



More Politically Involved

People tend to get more active politically in later life.


Are you engaged in politics?

Once you hit age 60, chances are you will be.

Older Americans are far likelier than younger people to show up to the polls.

That can have a big impact on political decisions affecting aging and retirement, such as Medicare funding, Social Security, and health funding.



Happiness and Aging

Older people report being happier than young people.


Think getting older is all doom and gloom?


Older people report being happier than the young.

And that’s true despite any age-related disabilities or other health concerns.

What’s more, that may be more and more true every year, as rates of depression among the elderly have declined for about a decade.


This is based on a survey of about 1,500 people ages 21 to 99. It suggests as we get older, we may indeed become wiser.

Mental health seems to improve as you continue to meet the many demands and surprises life throws your way. So if you are one of the many people who fear the advancement of time, cheer up—life gets better with age.



Fewer Colds

Your immunity to common colds is stronger as you age.


If you hate sniffling, sneezing, and coughing, pay attention.

Older people are better protected against colds than the young.

Your body remembers every cold virus you ever had to fight off—and there are more than 200 out there.


When you encounter the same virus again, your body’s infection fighters—known as T cells—are primed and ready to stop a familiar infection before it starts.


Studies show this immunity superpower is strongest from your 40s to your early 70s.

However after a certain point, your body’s immune system has a harder time keeping up, and you may become more susceptible to colds once again.

That can be tough because these colds tend to hang on longer and wreak more havoc as you age.



Less Sensitive Teeth

Your sensitivity to cold food could ease over time.


If you’re someone who winces at the thought of ice water, you may be delighted to learn that as you age, your teeth become less sensitive.

The reason for this involves dentin, the hard, inner tissue of teeth.

When you’re young, you have less dentin built up in your teeth with more microscopic cracks.

We’ve known about this since the 1930s, but are only beginning to understand why teeth age the way they do.

It seems the buildup of dentin, which fills in the tiny cracks and helps prevent tooth pain, does come with a side effect.

It results in older teeth being more vulnerable to cracking.



Making Use of Useless Information

In certain ways your memory actually improves over time.


Older adults have a surprising superpower when it comes to memory, and it seems to relate to their ability to focus their attention—or rather, their inability to do so.

Studies have found that older people are more easily distracted by irrelevant information.

While this may cause some problems with mental tasks, there’s an upside.


Because older adults are less likely to filter out information that seems useless at first glance, they retain that information more easily than younger adults.

It means older adults remember more associations between things than younger folks.

And that has consequences that can improve decision-making.



Less Sweating

If you hate to sweat, just wait until you get older.


Older people sweat less.

That’s because sweat glands shrink as you age, and they become less sensitive as well.

This is particularly true for women, who sweat less than men, to begin with.

Though it’s nice to stay dry, there are a couple of health implications to consider along with this.

For one, the sweat ducts play an important role in delivering fresh cells to the skin to repair wounds, and this effect is hampered as you age.

For another, sweating keeps us cool, so older people should be especially vigilant against heat exhaustion.




A Man's Guide to Looking and Feeling Younger

Sleep, diet, exercise, and good skincare can trim years off your appearance. Follow these simple anti-aging tips for a young-looking, healthier you.

Beth W. Orenstein

Everyone wants to look and feel younger. Currently, the anti-aging industry in the United States is an $80 billion business — and research suggests it’s only going to get bigger.

By 2015, it could amount to as much as $114 billion.


This growth, experts say, is due largely to the population of aging baby boomers, but also to an increasing interest from men looking for ways to hold on to their youth.


According to recent research by L’Oreal, the number of men visiting hair salons to have their hair dyed grew 50 percent between 2008 and 2010.


Male plastic surgery also increased last year from 2009: Data from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons showed a two percent uptick overall, a 14 percent increase in facelifts, and a nine percent increase in Botox.


But you don’t have to go under the knife to slash away the years. Simple steps at home can keep the annoying effects of aging at bay and help you look as young as you feel.


Start With Skin Care


The first thing people notice is your skin. According to one recent study published in the Journal of the European Academy of Dermatology and Venereology, men’s attractiveness and youth are judged largely on the tone and evenness of their complexion. Take years off your face by following these anti-aging skin-care rules:

  • Stay out of the sun. “The sun just beats the daylights out of your skin,” says Francis Salerno, MD, of the Center for Healthy Aging in Allentown, Pa. If you are going to be in the sun, wear sunscreen, Dr. Salerno adds. Over-exposure to the sun can cause wrinkles and age spots that surely will make you look older.
  • Moisturize. “Using moisturizer and a gentle cleanser every day will help you look younger,” says Frank Shipman, owner of the TC Salon Spa in Allentown. “Dryness exaggerates signs of aging in the face and the body. Moisturizer will help.”
  • Drink lots of water. Six to eight cups of water a day will help keep your skin hydrated, giving skin better tone and a more youthful looking appearance. “Maintaining adequate fluid intake is very, very important,” says Salerno, author of the book Basic Prevention: A Guide to Healthy Aging.

Promote Wellness


Maintaining your overall health can make you look and feel younger. These lifestyle choices promote wellness:

  • Sleep well. Most adults need seven to nine hours of sleep every night. “Getting appropriate sleep is very important for how you look,” Salerno says. Not enough sleep can result in bags under your eyes and other health consequences that may make you appear older. One study from the psychiatry department at Penn State College of Medicine found that sleep deprivation affected men’s mental acuity more than women’s. And another study from the University of California, San Diego, found that more men needed naps to reinforce learning. Men also wake up more often and have less slow-wave sleep, which is crucial for memory formation.
  • Stop smoking. Smoking can make you look old by creating wrinkles and lines around your mouth and eyes, dulling your skin, and staining your teeth. It also can cause a host of health problems that will age you quickly, Salerno says.
  • Eat healthy. “Eating appropriate amounts of a Mediterranean-type diet — chicken, fish, fruits, and vegetables with a moderate amount of carbs — will keep you healthy as well as looking young and fit,” Salerno says.
  • Exercise.Exercise will help you to maintain your tone and your flexibility,” Shipman explains. Aerobic exercises are good for your heart and, Salerno says, “whatever you do for your heart is also good for your brain.” Men who are fit and trim will look younger and feel younger than those who are fat and flabby. “It’s amazing how putting on those extra pounds can age someone greatly,” Shipman adds.


Dress Your Age


Age is about appearance. You can take years off your appearance if you follow this simple anti- aging dress code:

  • Avoid clothing trends. When dressing, go with updated classics. Says Shipman, “If you are middle-aged and go with a trend that is for 18-year-olds, it will not look right.” And don’t dwell on trends from your past. “If you wore the look before, don’t do it again. For example, bell-bottom trousers from the ’60s will make you look dated — or like you never left that era,” Shipman warns.
  • All that glitters is old. “Less is best when it comes to jewelry as we age,” says Frank J. Buongiorno, a stylist at The London Shop, a men’s specialty shop in Easton, Pa. “We don’t want to get too carried away with rings and ID bracelets, and huge, oversized watches.” Toning down the jewelry as a man gets older is more age appropriate.
  • “Raze” an eyebrow. As men age, their eyebrows often get long and unruly. “You don’t get character — you look crazy,” Shipman says. “When you get your haircut, have your stylist trim your eyebrows at the same time.” Buongiorno suggests that you keep a regular schedule of haircuts: “As a man grows older, he should keep his hair on the short side rather than in a ponytail.”
  • Trim unwanted body hair. As men age they tend to get hair in unwanted places, such as the ears and nose. Keep this growth trimmed and you’ll look younger — and if you look younger, you’ll feel younger, Buongiorno says. Also, if your body hair is turning gray, the shorter you keep it, the less noticeable the gray will be, Shipman says. That’s true of beards and chest hair.
  • Grow a beard. If you have a sagging neckline, sometimes a close cropped beard can be a great way of concealing it, Shipman says.

Following this anti-aging advice can make you look younger and feel younger, no matter what the calendar says. Staying fit and trim also will help prevent illnesses and chronic conditions that can age you prematurely as well.


The Latest in Senior Health


How Long Can I Expect to Live? Plus Other FAQs About Life Expectancy

In 1900, life expectancy in the United States was 47.3 years; in 2017, it was 78.6. Here’s why the numbers have gone up, plus advice from medical experts...

By Becky Upham

Back view of a senior couple sitting on the beach.Exercise Tips for Seniors


9 Common Senior Pills Now Linked to Alzheimer’s Disease?


Aging: The Surprises of Getting Older


Brain Changes for Aging Adults

Our brains change as we age.

There’s a bit of good news and a bit of bad news for aging adults when it comes to mental work. Let’s start with the bad. After your 30s, your ability to process information usually declines. So does your capacity to remember things. Maybe there’s some truth to the old saying that “the first thing to go is your memory.” Your brain also becomes more “set” as you age, particularly after age 70, making it harder to produce novel ideas. If all of this seems depressing, keep in mind that for a healthy adult, these changes are small on average.

There is an upside to aging, however, when it comes to your brain. Older people get better and better at a variety of tasks that psychologists lump into a category called crystallized intelligence. Crystallized intelligence refers to the accumulation of knowledge, skills, and abilities that have been practiced again and again. Your vocabulary resists decline, and continues to improve at least through middle age. Other well-practiced skills such as arithmetic improve through middle age as well, and are also unlikely to decline as you grow older.


READ LOTS this link.



Glad To Be Alive The Path To Adulthood – Healing The Pain Becoming The Adult Overcoming Loneliness – Part Two How To Overcome Loneliness How We End Up In Misery How To Deal With Loneliness Emotional Abuse Test Emotional Health – What Millions Still Don’t Know Emotional Insecurity Help You Have Emotion You Have Beliefs You Have Choice You Are Enough You Are Loved You Have A Heart


The degree to which you open up to and embrace the life energy that you use as raw material for your thoughts and feelings.


Removing the gunk that clogs up and inhibits the flow of life energy moving through you.


A fusion of thought and feeling that expands your consciousness.





Some seniors experience fewer migraines as they age.

Aging: The Surprises of Getting Older




How Substance Abuse Can Grow as You Grow Older




Five healthy habits net more healthy years

Monique Tello, MD, MPH

Are healthy habits worth cultivating? A recent study suggests healthy habits may help people tack on years of life and sidestep serious illnesses, such as diabetes and cancer. After all, if you’re going to gain an extra decade of life on this earth, you want to enjoy it!

Learn more »

Get your copy of Living Better, Living Longer
Living Better, Living Longer
With this Special Health Report, Living Better, Living Longer, you will learn the protective steps doctors recommend for keeping your mind and body fit for an active and rewarding life. You’ll get tips for diet and exercise, preventive screenings, reducing the risk of coronary disease, strengthening bones, lessening joint aches, and assuring that your sight, hearing, and memory all stay sharp. Plus, you’ll get authoritative guidance to help you stretch your health care dollar, select a health plan that meets your needs, prepare a health care proxy, and more.

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Harvard Health Publications Harvard Health Publications

Earn the lasting dividends of good health!

Find out how men — at age 50, 60, 70, 80 — are defying age-related illnesses,
staying stronger, and living longer!

Men's Health: Fifty and Forward

The Men's Health: Fifty and Forward Special Health Report includes:

Ways to reduce your risk for heart disease, stroke, cancer, and dementia
The latest treatments for prostate diseases
10 steps to a longer, healthier life
How to eat better and exercise more
Tips for managing health conditions unique to men
And so much more!
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Dear Reader,

As a man, you know that by age 50, you should be doing some “retirement planning.” And we don't just mean protecting your finances. There's something more important: protecting your health.

Good health is essential to be able to do all you want to do in the years and decades ahead. Declining health can dim and darken a man’s future. But you can keep yours bright!

41 things you can do to feel younger, stay healthy, and add years to your life

Doctors now know that factors you can control can affect your health just as much as — and sometimes more than — the factors you can’t control. You can cut your risk of serious illness. You can have greater physical, mental, and sexual energy. And you can enjoy years of active living.

The good news is that you don’t have to train for a marathon or eat an exotic macrobiotic diet to achieve those goals. Whether you want to reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke or boost your stamina and staying power, this Special Health Report will show you the simple steps and strategies that can make a lasting difference.

Prepared by Harvard Medical School doctors, Men’s Health: Fifty and Forward offers straightforward guidance that puts you ahead of the curve. You’ll discover a small mealtime change that can help lower your chances of colon cancer by up to 30%, an exercise routine that can help cut the risk of dementia in half, and four steps that can reduce your risk of prostate cancer — and increase your survival odds.

You'll also learn six ways to reduce your risk of heart disease, four ways to lower your blood pressure without drugs, two ways to screen for colorectal cancer without a colonoscopy, and one often overlooked way to protect yourself against Alzheimer’s disease.

Plus, Men’s Health: Fifty and Forward will help you avoid those ailments that affect your quality of life. You’ll read about the one lifestyle change that can lead to better erections. You’ll get tips for preventing arthritis pain. And you’ll discover the best exercises to keep you strong and limber.

Like all planning, the sooner you start, the better. Invest in your health. Order your copy of Men’s Health: Fifty and Forward today.


Healthy Seniors Slideshows

The Recipe Includes 3 Of Nature’s Most Powerful Soothing ‘Super’ Organics:

Maximum Strength Turmeric

It’s been used for over 4,000 years. Ancient India and even China recognized turmeric as a powerful restorative root. Today, over 2,000 peer reviewed studies suggest turmeric’s power. Here, we’ve included a full clinically tested dose. Plus, our unique, proprietary harvesting method makes each dose 4 times BETTER!



This you’ve heard. Ginger is the “swiss army knife” of superfoods. It’s revered as the #1 alternative restorative plant in hundreds of countries. It’s used the world over for digestion7, flus, colds8, achy muscles9 and other illnesses. It’s also another tool in your toolbox for a healthy response to discomfort. 1


Reishi Mushroom

It’s called “The King of Mushrooms.” It was brewed into an “immortal youth tea” in ancient Japan. Even more modern studies praise it’s impact on longevity. Reishi has also been used as a natural form of muscle relaxation in modern Chinese medicine.10


With ONE Sleep Enhancing Herb You MUST Take:

Lemon Balm

It’s known as “The Calming Herb.” In the 1600s, nuns near Mt. Carmel created a “relaxation tea” with these fragrant smelling leaves.11 The recipe has spread all through Europe since. Nowadays, lemon balm is a major ingredient in natural sleep supporting drinks and essential oils.


And The Greatest Discovery For Immunity In History:

Turkey Tail Mushroom

It looks exactly how it sounds. Turkey Tail is a restorative mushroom which resembles a turkey’s tail. It’s restorative effects on human immunity are spell-binding. It was revered as a secret “magical cure-all” among Native American cultures for centuries. Then scientists caught on. In 2013, The National Institute Of Health was so impressed. They invested 5.4 million dollars into Turkey Tale research!


And Finally, Our Secret Combination That Made Restorative Herbs Even MORE Absorbable!

Black Pepper Piperine

The powerful phytochemical within black pepper we discussed above! It’s powerful restorative qualities impact your whole body FAST. (Sometimes 20 times stronger)


Coconut Milk

Coconut gives us a trustworthy saturated fat. See, some vitamins are fat soluble. Without some fat, these vitamins just pass through your body. So here we include some good fats. This way, the vitamins are “snuck” into the bloodstream by latching onto a fat carrier cell.



Cinnamon - A common spice? Hardly. Wars were fought for centuries over this precious superfood. In Ayurveda, cinnamon was used to sooth and comfort people through the aging process. Including it here ensures a hint of warm flavor prized by ancient healers for thousands of years.


Acacia Fiber Prebiotic

It’s another absorbability “hack.” Acacia fiber is actually an organic tree sap. More importantly, it’s “food” for the bacteria in your gut. You’ve heard of probiotics? Well prebiotics feed the probiotics. This aids proper digestion of all 8 previous ingredients for MAXIMUM strength and absorbability! 12



Slideshow: Your Hands as You Age

It’s easy to depend on your hands. They do a lot for us. But a few things can happen to them as you get older. Find out what they are and what you can do to help your hands.



Today, I hope you will have another inspired day, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.




featured Sexual Problems As We Age Normal aging causes physical changes that may affect ability to have and enjoy sex. But you can have an active sex life.