What is LOVE?

Understanding how and why it happens.  Look for RED FLAGS.


It is our pleasure, purpose, and goal to share Connection - Holistic Lifestyle - Alternative Healing Treatments - Living Happier with New Thought - from original sources.


GlobalCnet is a collection of links to the original thought, research, new ideas and found expert advice. We have assembled extensive information and facts to inspire YOU to further your education, skills, and desires on your specific subjects. When you click on a blue link, you arrive on a web site, do your research, and observe all the other articles available to you.  Record what you need.  Share what you learned


GlobalCnet connected you, to make better-informed decisions.


This is a teaching and informative Web Site again, presenting original authors, like Harvard University, MedNet, Unstuck.com, Readers Digest, Mental Health and documents from millions of Web Sites which were written, published and illustrated with specific content to expand your knowledge for personal growth, health and answers.  All this WWW content was meant for your reading and answers,


GlobalCnet just connected you


It is our hope that you use all information for further answerers, ideas for more exploration, and the wisdom to share discoveries with others.  It is all about having the right fast or safe connections.  Everything has already been discovered, be smart, and use proven methods and spin your solutions to fit your needs. 


 Any questions, comments or to just say hello...leave a webmail .

Quick links to information and new ideas.  click here.



OK...you are now on GlobalCnet.  You can use the SEARCH BAR to quickly find subject information, or you can visit all the pages.  Your visit will award an organized starting point leading to answers to your challenge.......just do it.  Type in a word and hit search.


                                             - Michael J. Malette, PhD

                                               Founder, Global Connection Network, Inc.



Books, Heart, Pages, Literature


5 Psychological Theories of Love

Medically reviewed by

Why do people fall in love?


Why are some forms of love so lasting and others so fleeting?

Psychologists and researchers have proposed several different theories of love to explain how love forms and endures.


Love is a primary human emotion, but understanding how and why it happens is complicated.

In fact, for a long time, many people suggested that love was simply something too primal, mysterious, and spiritual for science to understand fully.


The following are four of the major theories proposed to explain love and other emotional attachments.


Liking vs. Loving


Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love1 is made up of three elements:

  • Attachment
  • Caring
  • Intimacy

Rubin believed that sometimes we experience significant appreciation and admiration for others. We enjoy spending time with that person and want to be around him or her, but this doesn't necessarily qualify as love.

Instead, Rubin referred to this as liking.


On the other hand, love is much deeper, more intense, and includes a strong desire for physical intimacy and contact.

People who are "in like" enjoy each other's company, while those who are "in love" care as much about the other person's needs as they do their own.


Attachment is the need for care, approval, and physical contact with another person.

Caring involves valuing the other person's needs and happiness as much as one's own.

Intimacy refers to sharing thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person.


Based on this definition, Rubin devised a questionnaire to assess attitudes about others and found that these scales of liking and loving supported his conception of love.


Compassionate vs. Passionate Love


According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are two basic types of love:

  • Compassionate love
  • Passionate love

Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust.

Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for one another.


Intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection characterize passionate love.

When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled.

Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondency and despair.

Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting between 6 and 30 months.


Hatfield also suggests that passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets one's preconceived ideas of ideal love, and when one experiences heightened physiological arousal in the other person's presence.


Ideally, passionate love leads to compassionate, far more enduring love.

While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassion with intense, passionate love, Hatfield believes that this is rare.

Related Articles



18 Things to Remember When Your Heart is Breaking

Written by

18 Things to Remember When Your Heart is Breaking

“Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.”  — Violeta Parra


It’s a dull, subdued sensation when your heart is breaking, like the muffled sound of a distant gunshot.

It doesn’t physically pierce your skin or tear you to pieces, but the sensation is physically present – the paralyzing discomfort of realizing that something you took for granted is leaving for good.


Although it’s hard to accept at first, this is actually a good sign of having a broken heart.

It means you have loved something, tried for something, and let life teach you.


Life will attempt to break you down sometimes; nothing and no one can completely protect you from this reality.

Remaining alone and hiding from the world won’t either, for endless, stagnant solitude will also break you with unhealthy nostalgia and yearning.


You have to stand back up and put yourself out there again.


Your heart is more vital than you realize.

I’ve been there and seen heartbreak through to the other side.


It takes time and patience.

Deep heartbreak is kind of like being lost in the woods – every direction leads to nowhere at first. When you are standing in a forest of darkness, you cannot see any light that could ever lead you home. But if you wait for the sun to rise again, and listen when someone assures you that they have stood in that same dark place and have since moved forward with their life, this will often bring the hope that’s needed.


It’s so hard to advise when you’ve got a broken heart, but some words can heal, and this is my attempt to give you hope. You are stronger than you know!


Please remember…

  1. The genuine, loving emotion that breaks your heart is oftentimes the same emotion that will heal it gradually over time.
  2. The person you liked or loved in the past, who treated you like dirt repeatedly, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment but more headaches and heartache.
  3. You can mull it over and obsess and obsess about how things turned out – what you did wrong or should have done differently – but there’s no point. It will NOT change anything right now!
  4. Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to hold on to what’s not meant to stay.
  5. Seven letters. Two words. One is saying. It can either cut you open to the core and leave you in horrific pain or free your heart and soul and lift an incredible weight off your shoulders. The saying is: It’s over!
  6. When you don’t get what you want, sometimes it’s necessary preparation, and other times it’s necessary protection. But the time is never wasted. It’s a step on your journey. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
  7. Someday you’ll look back on this time in your life as such an important time of grieving and growing. You will see that you were in mourning and your heart was breaking, but your life was changing.
  8. Transitions in life are the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something even better coming your way.
  9. One of the hardest lessons is that you cannot change other people. Every interaction, rejection, and heartbreaking lesson is only an opportunity to change yourself.
  10. Be determined to be positive. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness from this point forward is determined not by your circumstances but by your attitude.
  11. Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken.
  12. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. And when you do decide to give someone a chance, do so because you’re truly better off with this person. Don’t do it just for the sake of not being alone.
  13. When someone rejects you, it doesn’t mean you must also reject yourself or think of yourself as less worthy. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever want you anymore. Remember that there are billions of people in the world, and only ONE person has rejected you. And it only hurts so bad right now because, to you, that one person’s opinion represents the whole world's opinion. But that’s not the truth.
  14. Sometimes it takes a broken heart to shake you awake and help you see that you are worth so much more than you were settling for. (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  15. When you lose someone or something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so you can better travel the path meant for you.
  16. Anything that hurts you today only makes you stronger in the end.
  17. Grief is the price you pay for love when all is said and done. And it’s better to have loved, lost, and learned than to have never loved at all.
  18. A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along.


You are human, and the human heart breaks sometimes.

Don’t fight it – fight through it!


Give yourself a chance to love again, to feel again, and to live again.


You are alive and here to risk your heart by putting it into something you believe in as often as possible.

If you avoid taking this chance, one thing is sure: you will make it safely to the end, feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Don’t do that to yourself.

You deserve better.


Your turn…


In what ways have you struggled with heartbreak?

How have you coped?

These insites will make you a better exciting person. You are awesome.


Heart, Silhouette, Love, Luck, Abstract


You Were Born to Be Loved

By Leah Dawang


It’s a sleepy morning. The kind of morning that looks back on the day before, heavy and empty at the same time.

Sedated by exhaustion birthed out of trying your very best and still coming up short.

Readjusting the baggage you’ve brought, you pull the cold handle, opening the door to your favorite coffee shop. Immersed in smells, sounds and warmth, your body reminds you, you’re alive.


Glancing too and fro, humans speak, words navigating through steam. Provoked by their connections, a feeling crawls up from the bottom of your stomach: aloneness. 

Your bags grow heavier with this addition.


He wanted to meet you here to reconnect.

You did your best to talk yourself – and him – out of it. You search the shop until you see Him…well, not so much as see Him as you feel His smile.


It’s kind, Love’s smile


It’s the kind of smile that disassembles ego’s walls brick by brick while whistling a favorite tune.

With baggage landing with a thump, you scoot out of the chair to sit, unconsciously reaching for the mug before you.

Its aroma offers some comfort, and you gladly accept. Eyelids are heavy, and it’s unclear if tears or tiredness are the cause. You assume both to be safe. 


Space wraps around your feet as they dangle off the ground and memories of being a kid overwhelm your body. Small. Powerless.

Too much to say. 

“It’s good to see you.”


Like racket balls, the words rickshay off the fortress of your heart.

It senses intruders and fortifies the walls of shame and protection without pause.

And yet, the penetrating kindness of Love’s smile doesn’t fade.

Brick by brick, he begins dismantling. 


“I’m glad you’re here. I’m particularly delighted to be with you.”

Words so surprising, you can’t help but look up.

He is average looking, wearing a tired sweatshirt.

His hands are well-worn but relaxed and folded on the table.

Eyes locked on his, he makes a small hole in your heart fortress, and Light floods in.

“Can you show me what you brought with you today?”


You look down at the baggage scattered around your feet, remembering your reality.

Staring, tears threaten your eyelids’ edge.

Your mouth stammers and stutters, tripping on every assumed consequence.

But there is safety about Him. The kindest, most grace-filled friend – He who is Love.


And so you begin:

Taking the first bag off the ground with trembling hands, you unpack all that you’ve stowed away for fear of others’ scrutiny. And even more so, your own. 


With heavy hands, you untangle memory after memory, thought after thought, setting each on the table, convinced this is the one that will send Love running. Or worse, he’ll demand you leave.

But instead, He bends down and helps you untangle, asking questions along the way. He wants to truly know you.


The deeper in the bags you get, the deeper in your heart you go until Love looks down and sees a bag untouched.


“What’s this one, friend?”


You take a quick glance as you work to untangle a rather dark thought heavy in your hand.

“Oh, that’s my good bag. I don’t need to unpack it.”


A small chuckle bubbles up from Love’s side of the table.

With a crooked half-smile, he gently nudges the bag toward you and invites you into the process with a nod of his head.


“But these are all the good things I’ve done. I keep them as reminders.”

“I don’t need reminding, friend.”


Love helps you unzip the bag as you take out its contents.


“I try to be kind to people.

I do my best to be patient and admit when I’m triggered.

I give money away to those in need and try not to lose my temper when I get frustrated with my family. I do my best, to be honest, and focus on staying present.

I fight for justice and stand up for what I believe in while trying not to judge others.”


On and on you go, piling your efforts out on the table, they overflow.

You look at Love for affirmation but are surprised to see his face mixed between amused and confused.


“I work really hard to be good.” You explain.

“And it weighs you down just like the other bags.” Love points out.


After some time, with all bags empty, thoughts, memories, efforts piled high, Love takes one last look and then hops off the chair and says, “Okay, ready to go?”


Wide-eyed, you’re baffled. “How can it be that simple? Don’t we need to clean this up?”

“Don’t we need to throw it all away?”


Like water dancing over a rocky riverbed, Love chuckles again.

The sweetest art you’ve ever heard. Putting his arm around you, he guides you out of the coffee shop, lighting the path with His smile.


“There are many things you don’t yet understand about me.

I have no intention of throwing anything away. I prefer redeemed things.

Restored things.

Let’s take a walk, and I’ll show you.”

Lighter on your feet than ever, you take one step after another.


Love begins,

“I’m bigger and kinder than you’ve ever known or hoped.” 


“I always choose you.”


“And when given the chance, I gladly lay down my life for you, friend.”

“My affection doesn’t grow or shrink no matter what you do.”


“There is nothing you can do to make me love you more. And you can do nothing to make me love you less.”


“I love you because I love you because I love you because I love you.”


“It’s in your broken places.

I find my way in.”

“Walk with me, and I’ll transform you to receive and give.”

“You were born to be Loved.”



Heart, Pain, Tears, Man, Face, Mourning






Understanding Emotions

While we are all wired differently, our emotions and the ways in which we feel and react make us unique. Learn where emotions originate and why they manifest how they do.
Displaced anger
Woman with a stern and lost look.
Woman experiencing happy emotions
Amygdala hijack can be overcome through mindfulness.
woman looking scared in parking garage
Newborn baby holding Mothers hand
Emotional Intelligence
Woman taping a moving box
Two women talking in a business setting.
Office worker crying
Music and happiness
Man grieving in bed.
Woman smilig and laughing
Kid in super hero costume
Woman sitting outside in lotus position with the setting sun framed with her hands
japanese female get acupuncture treatment in kyoto japan
Collage of man making different facial expressions
Teenage girl talking to friend
Two men from different cultures talking to each other
stressed woman with elbows on desk in front of laptop
Woman crying on the floor

<< New text box >>

Your Opinions Are Not Facts

How to share your experience without forcing it on someone elseDon JohnsonDon Johnson


There’s a lot to disagree about these days: politics, shutdowns, masks, travel restrictions, vaccines—you name it.

And then there are the more mundane disagreements in everyday life, the little things, like setting the thermostat.

Someone wants to turn it down.

You want it up.

Someone says, “It’s too hot in here.”

You say, “It’s not hot.

It’s cold.”

Before you know it, you’re in a silly argument.

None of us need more aggravation, especially right now.

To express yourself respectfully and diffuse arguments before they start, it’s important to understand the difference between facts, opinions, and toxic opinions.


A fact is a thing that is known or proven to be true:

  • The Earth is round.
  • Google is a search engine.
  • Water is a simple molecule of positively charged hydrogen atoms and one large negatively charged oxygen atom.

An opinion is a view or judgment that depends on your assessment:

  • I like pizza.
  • I feel happy when I take a walk.
  • I prefer to wear dark colors.

A toxic opinion is an opinion disguised as a fact:

  • That project will never work.
  • There’s a worldwide shortage of jobs right now.
  • There’s no hope for a better life today.

Here’s why toxic opinions are problematic:

When someone says, “It’s too hot in here,” it’s easy to get defensive because the statement excludes any possibility that your experience might differ.

It doesn’t consider that you might be cold.

“Too hot” is a relative term.

It’s not a universally accepted fact.


It might be cute when a child says, “Brussels sprouts are gross.”

But it’s not cute when adults speak with toxic opinions.


Expressing an opinion disguised as a fact makes it toxic because it diminishes anyone else’s perspective.


This is how many arguments start: one person imposes their opinion on someone else.



The typical reaction is to push back aggressively, turning your own opinion toxic in response: “It’s not hot in here. I’m freezing!”


Toxic opinions invite defensiveness and open the door for arguments.


When I teach this concept to my clients, I ask them to argue with me.

I say, “The room is hot.”

They say, “No, it’s not.

The room is fine.

What’s wrong with you, anyway?”

Then I say, “Argue with me now: ‘I feel hot.’” I get blank looks.

People try to argue, but it’s impossible to argue with “I feel hot.”+ You can disagree by saying “I feel cold,” but that’s not arguing.

That’s just stating how you feel.

By saying, “I feel hot,” I’m not suggesting everyone else should feel that way.

I’m merely describing how I feel and what I’m experiencing.


“I” statements demonstrate personal ownership, accountability, and taking responsibility. Using an “I” statement can defuse an argument before it happens.

Research has shown that “I” statements can reduce defensiveness and aggression.


Toxic opinions invite defensiveness and open the door for arguments.

Arrogance and believing one version of reality—yours—is the only possible view that underlies toxic opinions and could be the single largest creator of arguments.


There are two types of toxic opinions: impersonal and personal.


  • “Conservatives don’t care about the poor.”
  • “Technology is ruining our lives.”
  • “Wealthy people are selfish.”


  • “You’re lazy and leave all the housework up to me.”
  • “You don’t listen to me.”
  • “That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

You can rephrase a toxic opinion by saying “I think…,” followed by supporting facts or by stating what you experience and how you feel.

When grounded by the facts as you see them and the knowledge that others may see it differently, an opinion or your point of view is a powerful, direct, and respectful way to communicate.

It’s empowering to say, “Look, this is my opinion on the subject.

You may disagree, but I want you to know what I think.”


For example, “I feel hot.

The thermostat says it’s 75 degrees in here,” expresses your experience, and states a fact. “I think technology is ruining lives.

I read a Harvard study citing that small children's cellphone use reduces cognitive brain function.” “When we agree to sit down to watch TV together, and you get on your iPad, I feel disrespected and unappreciated.”

The purpose of an opinion is not to prove someone wrong or convince them of your point of view.

The goal is to speak truthfully and accurately about your beliefs without discounting others’ experiences.

Without opinions, we would have no creative dialogue or problem-solving. We would be empty shells with little or nothing to say.


Instead of creating defensiveness, an opinion invites dialogue because you take responsibility for your point of view by saying, “I think, I believe, I propose, I suggest.”

When you speak this way, it encourages others to do the same. Whether they follow your lead is up to them.

You’ve done your part.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and we all have the right to express our point of view.

We may agree with each other or not.

But no one is entitled to impose their opinion on anyone else—whether about politics or the thermostat.


My wife and I have had numerous conversations about the thermostat in our house.

She often feels hotter than I do, and we’ve had our moments.

Now I wear an extra layer on cold days.

She dresses more lightly.

When she says, “It’s too hot in here,” I smile and say, “Oh, so you’re feeling warm?

Let’s turn it down for a bit.”

She looks at me and laughs, and says, “Right, I am feeling warm.”


I smile because we both teach this stuff for a living, but we don’t always get it right.

After all, we’re just humans living, learning, and trying to be the best versions of ourselves.


Today, I hope you will have another inspiring day,

that you will dream boldly and dangerously,

that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action,

you will love and be loved in return and find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change.

And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world),

that you will,

when you must,

be wise with your decisions,

and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.