Study of Self

Have you resently done a self inventory. 

Only you truely know you.

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The psychology lf  of self is the study of either the cognitive and affective representation of one's identity or the subject of experience. The earliest formulation of the self in modern psychology forms the distinction between two elements I and me.

The self as I, is the subjective knower.


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50 Best Self-Care Ideas for Mental and Physical Wellbeing


Nope, it's not just you: We live in extra-stressful times.

That's why a solid self-care routine is critical to keeping your you-know-what together (at least most of the time — it's totally normal to have the occasional anxiety explosion.)


And what taking care of yourself means is different depending not just on who you are, but on what you're going through, how much time you have, what you find makes you feel less stressed and what you can afford.


Whatever your self-care routine winds up being for you, the important thing is that it gives you life, rather than sucking the life out of you.

"It's sort of like a car driving 100 miles an hour is eventually going to wear down. When it's go-go-go all the time, it's just not sustainable over the long haul," says Debra Kissen, Ph.D., MHSA, a psychologist and CEO and Clinical Director of the Light on Anxiety Center CBT Treatment Center.


"There's eventually going to be wear and tear to keep up that level of momentum of doing and giving," she says.

What you're looking for in a self-care routine, says Kissen, is a feeling of rejuvenation during or after the activity you choose.


"It should be charging your battery in some way, versus depleting it," she says.

You want it to be energy-neutral or energy giving, she says, as opposed to you expending emotional energy.

Which is why self-care might not look like getting your nails done or soaking in the tub, although these are both viable options.


Sometimes they're about getting out for a walkorganizing your house so you feel calm when you're home, or taking the time to figure out how to set some new boundaries with your partner so you feel safe and happy in your relationship.


Even healthy meal prep (especially if you get into the meditative aspects of chopping veggies) can be self-care, especially because it sets you up for a nutritious week ahead.

Another thing to keep in mind is that self-care — as important as it is — may not feel easy or comfortable, especially if you're not used to it.


"People should feel like they should want to do it, when sometimes there are feelings of guilt and shame around it," says Kissen. "It should feel good, but that's not always the case right away."


If this sounds like you, expose yourself to it a little at a time, and it will start to feel good eventually, she says. "It's important for your brain and your body, having that pause, so it is something to work on."


One thing you don't want to do, however, is make self-care a chore. 

Eating less sugary food can be self-care; obsessively cutting it out so you feel deprived is not.

Meditation is amazing self-care ... unless you sit cross-legged telling yourself you suck at it. When it starts to feel punishing — even if on the surface it's "good for you" — that's when it stops being self-care.

And that's fine! Pick something else — there are loads of options. Need some inspiration? 

Here are 50 best self-care ideas and activities to try





Daily OM


Running Away Versus Moving Forward



Make sure you aren’t running away from your problems — always move toward something.

There are times when change — moving to a new city or a new home, or changing careers — is the right thing at the right time. But there are also times when the urge for change is really just a desire to run away from problems that need to be faced.


Recurring problems often are the ones we avoid dealing with.

For example, we might have issues with coworkers that seem to arise at every job, or we repeatedly get into unhealthy relationships.


A move might temporarily distract us and even cure the problem for a time, simply by taking us out of the situation.

However, the problem will eventually appear again in our new situation.


One way to make sure you aren’t running away from your problems is to notice whether you are moving toward something that is exciting in its own right, as opposed to something that is appealing only because it is not where you are now.


For example, if you are leaving a city because you feel you can’t afford it, you could be reinforcing poverty consciousness, and you might find that you are unable to make ends meet in your new city as well.


It would ultimately be less of an effort to stay where you are and look more deeply into your beliefs about money.

You may discover that as you address these issues, you are able to make more money by changing your mindset.


You may still decide to move, but it will be an act with a positive in

tention behind it and not an escape, which could make all the difference.


Any pain involved in facing our issues is well worth the effort in the end.


When we face our problems instead of avoiding them, we free our energy and transform ourselves from people who run away into people who move enthusiastically forward.




The Real Reason We Don’t Do What We Know We Should Do

Why do we choose short-term gratification over long-term goals?




Photo by Ahmad Pishnamazi on Unsplash


Have you ever noticed how we often opt for short-term rewards, even when we know they don’t align with our long-term ambitions? 


It’s like we’re caught in a loop, where we indulge in unhealthy habits, overspend on things we don’t really need, or put off important tasks for another day.


We keep telling ourselves next week or next month we’ll be different — we’ll work out, eat healthy, and stick to our budgets…


Yet time and time again, we find ourselves falling back into the same patterns. Well, there’s a deeper, often overlooked reason for this recurring behavior.


The truth is, there’s nothing inherently wrong with us.

We’re not lazy.


We’re not fundamentally flawed, or lacking willpower. Rather, we’re navigating complex psychological and biological factors that influence our choices.


We’re in survival mode, and if we want to break these patterns, we need to understand why we’re wired to operate this way.




Free Soil Nature photo and picture


The Link Between Survival Mode And Short-Term Gratification

When we talk about being in survival mode, we’re referring to a state of heightened stress or anxiety in response to a perceived threat or challenge.

This could be due to a variety of reasons such as financial troubles, relationship problems, health concerns, or work-related stress.


In this survival mode, our body’s natural instinct kicks in, prioritizing immediate needs over long-term goals.

It tells us that we need to find quick solutions to alleviate our stress and anxiety — which leads us to seek out short-term gratification, whether it’s indulging in comfort foods, impulse shopping, or avoiding responsibilities.

The irony is that while these short-term solutions may provide temporary relief, they often contribute to a continuous loop of stress and dissatisfaction.


For example, when we’re struggling financially:

  • Our brain tells us that we need to find a way to get money right now to alleviate our stress and anxiety.
  • This leads us to seek out short-term gratification through gambling, borrowing money, or even impulsive spending (as it makes us feel good in the moment, providing temporary relief).
  • Since thinking about the long-term consequences of our actions stresses us even further, we get into a loop cycle of seeking immediate relief, which only perpetuates our financial struggles and amplifies our stress and anxiety.

Or, let’s say we’re struggling with body image and taking care of our health:

  • Our brain tells us we need to find a way to stop our feelings of inadequacy.
  • This leads us to seek out short-term gratification through crash diets, excessive exercise, or even avoiding social situations where we might feel judged.
  • Since we’re not addressing our issues properly, the feelings of inadequacy come back, which reinforces the cycle of seeking temporary relief without resolving the root cause.

In both of these situations, the root cause of our impulsive behavior is the same — our brain is prioritizing immediate needs over long-term goals.


When we’re worried about our health or paying our bills, there is no mental space to think about what would be better for us in the future.

Our immediate concerns consume our attention, and there’s a sense of urgency to find relief or escape from the present challenges.

However, it’s important to recognize that this behavior is not sustainable in the long term.

If we want to create a better future for ourselves, we need to find a way to break free from this cycle.


Here’s what has worked for me.


1. Recognize the problem and approach it with self-compassion.

The first step in breaking any kind of self-sabotaging pattern is to recognize that this behavior is a natural response to stress and anxiety.


As I’ve mentioned before, you cannot hate, shame, or force yourself into healing.

By approaching the situation with self-compassion and understanding, rather than self-criticism or hatred, you’re much more likely to break the cycle and make long-term changes for the better.

So, instead of judging yourself for giving in to instant gratification, try to see your behavior from a compassionate lens.

Recognize that you’re only human, and it’s normal to seek relief from stress and anxiety in the moment.


2. Work on addressing the root causes of your behavior.

Needless to say, we don’t enter survival mode out of nowhere.

Something happened, or a series of events occurred, that triggered this heightened state of stress or anxiety.


It could be past traumas, unresolved emotional issues, or even ongoing challenges that we haven’t yet addressed.

Whatever the underlying issues are, they serve as the fuel for our impulsive behaviors, pushing us further into seeking immediate relief.


Here’s the thing: most of us want to skip this part.

We don’t want to face our fears or acknowledge the painful emotions we’ve been suppressing. I’ve been there many times, opting for distractions or quick fixes instead of delving deeper into understanding myself.


However, it’s not possible to break the cycle of survival mode without addressing the root causes of our problems.

True change happens when we actively seek ways to heal and grow, even — especially — when we encounter setbacks along the way.


3. Reconnect with your true self & identify the goals that truly align with you.

Survival mode leads us to disconnect from ourselves.

It makes us neglect the things that nourish our soul, like hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in self-care activities.


This disconnection often means we forget what truly makes us feel alive and connected.

So, a big part of healing from being in survival mode is reconnecting with ourselves again. It’s about rediscovering those passions, values, and desires that resonate deeply with who we are at our core.

Besides, I’ve noticed that the more I remind myself of my values and long-term desires, the easier it is for me to delay gratification and stay focused on my goals.

By regularly revisiting my vision and the reasons behind my aspirations, I find renewed motivation to resist impulsive urges and make choices that serve my future self.

It’s like having a compass that keeps me on track, reminding me of what truly matters and helping me navigate through the distractions and temptations of the moment.


It’s not easy to cope with life when we’re in survival mode.

We’re anxious, overwhelmed, and often feel like we’re just treading water, barely keeping our heads above the surface.


But it’s possible to break free from these patterns and learn healthier coping mechanisms instead.

Every step we take towards understanding ourselves, addressing our root causes, and realigning with our true values is a victory.

It’s a testament to our strength, courage, and determination to create a life that’s aligned with our deepest desires and aspirations — a life where our past doesn’t define us, and our future is shaped by conscious choices and intentional actions.


We’ve got this.

You’ve got this.


Ready to take control of your healing journey? My Self-Healing Workbook is here to guide you with practical exercises, thought-provoking prompts, and insightful reflections. Designed to help you peel back layers of conditioning and cultivate self-care habits, it will empower you to take charge of your well-being! Let’s do this together!





20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Own


Written by


20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Own Happiness


Patience isn’t about waiting;

it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.


As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a habit on average.

So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain.


1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals.

Make the bed.

Water the plants.

Rinse off your own bowl and spoon.

Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.


2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.

Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life.

Don’t just listen to the loudest voice every day.

Listen to the truest one.


3. Start choosing differently for your own well-being.

A big part of your life is a result of the little choices you make every day.

If you don’t like some part of your life, it’s time to start tweaking things and making better choices in the days and weeks ahead.


4. Start being a little more productive than you are busy.

There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive.

If you’re going to put in the work today, don’t confuse motion and progress.

A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress.


Hope, Curiosity, Dreaming or New Idea Concept Key Hole on Dark Blue Wall with Glowing Sun Light, Nature, Pine Forest on the Other Side - Final Remedy Concept, Template, Vector Design in Editable Format bright side of life stock illustrations


5. Start dedicating time every day to meaningful progress.

If you only have fifteen minutes to spare, no problem — make those fifteen minutes meaningful. Focus on small daily steps.

And even when the struggle is real, remind yourself that it always feels better to be exhausted from taking a small step forward, than it does to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.


6. Start moving toward things, not away from them.

The best way to move away from something negative is to move toward something positive.


7. Start doing what’s right, even if it’s not the easiest option.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s worth your while.

Do what’s right, not what’s easiest right now.

It’s a less stressful way to live in the long run.


8. Start comparing yourself to yourself (and no one else).

Forget what others have and where they are.

You’re not walking in their shoes, and you’ll never comfortably walk in your own if you keep comparing yourself to them.

So focus on what’s best for YOU and your unique circumstances.

What do you need to do next for your own priorities and objectives?

Do it!

You won’t be distracted by comparison if you’re captivated with purpose.


9. Start being more tolerant of those who see things differently.

Engage with people, including those who think differently.

Ask questions, listen closely, and remember that the way we treat people we disagree with is the best evidence of what we have truly learned about love, respect, and kindness.


10. Start letting grace have the last word.

We only really lose the little arguments our pride insists on winning.

When it’s more important to win little arguments than love people, we need to start all over again with our faith, grace, and priorities.

(Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)


11. Start giving without expectations.

You will end up very disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them.

Not everyone has the same heart, values, or priorities as you.

Keep yourself centered.

The fact that you can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and give them hope, is proof that generosity works wonders behind the scenes.


12. Start being the difference you want to see in the world.

Be the change.

What you give to another person is really what you give to yourself.

When you treat others with love, you learn that you are lovable too.

So keep doing your thing today with as much kindness, humility, and honesty as possible.

Do what you do, not for repayment or an applause, but because it’s what’s right.

Forget about popularity, and just focus on goodness and sincerity for the rest of the month and beyond.


13. Start being more present.

Gadgets are great, but they can get in the way if you aren’t careful.

Control them so they don’t control you.

Put down the phone when you’re socializing.

Don’t avoid eye contact.

Don’t hide behind a screen.

Be present.

Ask about people’s stories. Listen. Engage.


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14. Start letting your actions speak to those you love.

Put first things first on the daily basis.

Our closest relationships are vital to our overall peace and happiness.

And as we tell those we love that we love them, we must never forget that the highest compliment is not to utter words, but to live by them.


15. Start finding more gratitude.

The secret to being grateful is no secret.

You choose to be grateful.

When you forget, begin again.

(Note: Our newest publication via Penguin, “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day”, is a good tool for this kind of perspective shift and gratitude practice.)


16. Start complaining less.

Practice replacing the phrase “I have to” with “I get to” whenever you catch yourself starting to complain.

So many activities we complain about are things others wish they had the chance to do.


17. Start opening up to new experiences and opportunities.

Don’t let not knowing how it’ll end keep you from beginning again right now.

If we allow it to, uncertainty chases us out into the open where life’s true magic is waiting.

Go somewhere new, and countless opportunities suddenly appear.

Do something differently, and all sorts of great new possibilities spring up. Keep an open mind and have fun with life in the days and weeks ahead.


18. Start letting life’s little frustrations go.

Don’t let the silly little dramas of each day get you down.

Joy starts on the inside.

Practice focusing on what truly matters, and letting go of what does not. Use your frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you.

You are in control of your focus and how you choose to allocate your energy.


19. Start embracing the lessons life is teaching you.

You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once. Truly, everything that happens helps you grow.

Oftentimes difficult experiences teach us priceless life lessons we didn’t think we needed to know. If you’re having some problems, that’s not a bad thing.

It means you’re attempting things, taking steps, and making progress.

The only people with no problems are the ones doing absolutely nothing.


20. Start focusing (only) on what you can control.

Don’t force things.

Give things your best shot and then let them be.

If it’s meant to be, it will be.

Don’t hold yourself down with things you can’t control.

Remember, no book is just one chapter. No chapter tells the whole story.

No mistake defines who we are.

Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.



Now, it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn starting today!

I sincerely hope you will make the best of it all, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will leverage the reminders above to create something that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the outcomes you can’t change.

And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.


And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay.

Your feedback is important to us.




Which one of the points above resonated the most today?


Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.


Email us at GlobalCnet, we care about your positive experience at: Contact Us




Finding Time for You


We can excel easier in our lives when our own spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs are fulfilled.

Within each of us, there is a well of energy that must be regularly replenished.

When we act as if this well is bottomless, scheduling a long list of activities that fit like puzzle pieces into every minute of every day, it becomes depleted and we feel exhausted, disconnected, and weak.


Refilling this well is a matter of finding time to focus on, nurture, and care for ourselves, or "you time."


Most of us are, at different times throughout the day, a spouse, a friend, a relative, an employee, a parent, or a volunteer, which means that down time, however relaxing in nature, is not necessarily "you time."

Though some people will inevitably look upon "you time" as being selfish, it is actually the polar opposite of selfishness.

We can only excel where our outer world affairs are concerned when our own spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs are fulfilled.


Recognizing the importance of "you time" is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however.


Even if you find a spot for it in your agenda, you may be dismayed to discover that your thoughts continuously stray into worldly territory.


To make the most of "you time," give yourself enough time on either side of the block of time you plan to spend on yourself to ensure that you do not feel rushed.


Consider how you would like to pass the time, forgetting for the moment your obligations and embracing the notion of renewal.


You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.

Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you.

"You time" prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home.


It also affords you a unique opportunity to learn about yourself, your needs, and your tolerances in a concrete way.


As unimportant as "you time" can sometimes seem, it truly is crucial to your well-being because it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself.





101 Self-Care Suggestions for When It All Feels Like Too Much


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I think that, for most of us, there are times in life when it all just feel like Too Much.

There may be some days, weeks, months, maybe even years when – for whatever reason – just getting through the day, or going to work, or putting one foot in front of the other feels hard.

Really, really hard.

Maybe it’s because you’re wrestling with anxiety, depression or some other mental illness.

Maybe it’s because you’ve had your heart broken.

Maybe you’ve gone through a physical or emotional trauma.

Maybe you’re deeply grieving.

Or maybe there’s no easily understood reason for why you’re feeling bad.

Whatever the case, I want you to know that it’s OK if you’re going through a tough time.

This doesn’t make you any less lovable, worthy or capable.

This just means you’re human.

Free Meditation Presence illustration and picture

Being a human can be a messy, hard, confusing, painful experience sometimes.

So if you or someone you love is going through one of these tough times right now, a time where it all just feels like too much, I want to offer up 101 suggestions for self-care to help you or your loved one get through this time.

1. Have a good, long, body-shaking cry.

2. Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out.

3. Call in sick. Take comp time if you can. Take a mental health day.

4. Say no to extra obligations, chores, or anything that pulls on your precious self-care time.

5. Book a session (or more!) with your therapist.

6. Dial down your expectations of yourself at this time. When you’re going through life’s tough times, I invite you to soften your expectations of yourself and others.

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7. Tuck yourself into bed early with a good book and clean sheets.

8. Watch a comforting/silly/funny/lighthearted TV show or movie. (“Parks and Recreation,” anyone?)

9. Reread your favorite picture and chapter books from childhood.

10. Ask for some love and tenderness from your friends on social media. Let them comment on your post and remind you that you’re loved.

11. Look at some some really gorgeous pieces of art.

12. Watch Youtube videos of Ellen DeGeneres and the adorable kids she has on her show.

13. Look at faith-in-humanity-restoring lists from Buzzfeed.

14. Ask for help. From whoever you need it – your boss, your doctor, your partner, your therapist, your mom. Let people know you need some help.

15. Wrap yourself up in a cozy fleece blanket and sip a cup of hot tea.

16. Breathe. Deeply. Slowly. Four counts in. Six counts out.

17. Hydrate. Have you had enough water today?

18. Eat. Have you eaten something healthy and nourishing today?

19. Sleep. Have you slept 7-9 hours? Is it time for some rest?

20. Shower. Then dry your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good.

21. Go outside and be in the sunshine.

22. Move your body gently in ways that feel good. Maybe aim for 30 minutes. Or 10 if 30 feels like too much.

23. Read a story (or stories) of people who overcame adversity or maybe dealt with mental illness, too.

24. Go to a 12-Step meeting. Or any group meeting where support is offered. Check out church listings, hospital listings, school listings for examples.

Free Person Human illustration and picture

25. If you suspect something may be physiologically off with you, go see your doctor and/or psychiatrist and talk to them. Medication might help you at this time and they can assist you in assessing this.

26. Take a long, hot bath, light a candle and pamper yourself.

27. Read these inspirational quotes.

28. Cuddle someone or something. Your partner. A pillow. Your friend’s dog.

29. Read past emails/postcards/letters etc. from friends and family reminding you of happier times.

30. Knit. Sculpt. Bake. Engage your hands.

31. Exhaust yourself physically – running, yoga, swimming, whatever helps you feel fatigued.

32. Write it out. Free form in a journal or a Google doc. Get it all out and vent.

33. Create a plan if you’re feeling overwhelmed. List out what you need to do next to tackle and address whatever you’re facing. Chunk it down into manageable and understandable pieces.

34. Remember: You only have to get through the next five minutes. Then the next five. And so on.

35. Take five minutes to meditate.

36. Write out a list of 25 Reasons Why You’ll Be OK.

37. Write out a list of 25 Examples of Things You’ve Overcome or Accomplished.

38. Write out a list of 25 Reasons Why You’re a Good, Lovable Person.

39. Write out a list of 25 Things That Make Your Life Beautiful.

40. Sniff some scents that bring you joy or remind you of happier times.

41. Ask for support from friends and family via text if voice-to-voice contact feels like too much. Ask them to check in with you via text daily/weekly. Whatever you need.

42. Lay down on the ground. Let the earth/floor hold you. You don’t have to hold it all on your own.

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43. Clean up a corner of a room of your house. Sometimes tidying up can help calm our minds.

44. Ask yourself: What’s my next most immediate priority? Do that. Then ask the question again.

45. Read some poetry. RumiHafizMary Oliver are all excellent.

46. Take a tech break. Delete or deactivate social media if it feels too triggering right now.

47. Or maybe get on tech. If you’ve been isolating maybe even interacting with friends and family online might feel good.

48. Go out in public and be around others. You don’t have to engage. But maybe go sit in a coffee shop or on a bench at a museum and soak up the humanity around you.

49. Or if you’re feeling too saturated with contact, go home. Cancel plans and tend to the introverted parts of yourself.

50. Ask friends and family to remind you that things will be OK and that what you’re feeling is temporary.

51. Put up some Christmas lights in your bedroom. They often make things more magical.

52. Spend a little money and treat yourself to some self-care and comfort. Maybe take a taxi versus the bus. Buy your lunch instead of forcing yourself to pack it. Buy some flowers that delight you.

53. Make art. Scribble with crayons. Splash some watercolors. Paint a rock. Whatever. Just create something.

54. Go wander around outside in your neighborhood and take a look at all the lovely houses and the way people decorate their gardens. Delight in the diversity of design.

55. Go visit or volunteer at your local animal rescue. Pet some animals.

56. Look at photos of people you love. Set them as the wallpaper of your phone or laptop.

57. Create and listen to a playlist of songs that remind you of happier times.

58. Read some spiritual literature.

59. Scream, pound pillows, tear up paper, shake your body to move the energy out.

60. Eat your favorite, most comforting foods.

61. Watch old Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood videos online.

62. Turn off the lights, sit down, stare into space and do absolutely nothing.

63. Pick one or two things that feel like progress and do them. Make your bed. Put away the dishes. Return an email.

64. Go to a church or spiritual community service. Sit among others and absorb any guidance or grace that feels good to you.

65. Allow yourself to fantasize about what you’re hoping or longing for. There are clues and energy in your reveries and daydreams that are worth paying attention to.

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66. Watch Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response videos to help you calm down and fall asleep at night.

67. Listen to monks chantingsinging Tibetan bowls or nature sounds to help soothe you.

68. Color in some adult coloring books.

69. Revisit an old hobby. Even if it feels a little forced, try your hand at things you used to enjoy and see what comes up for you.

70. Go to the ocean. Soak up the negative ions.

71. Go to the mountains. Absorb the strength and security of them.

72. Go to the forest. Drink in the shelter, life and sacredness of the trees.

73. Put down the personal help books and pick up some good old fashioned fiction.

74. Remember: Your only job right now is to put one foot in front of the other.

75. Allow and feel and express your feelings – all of them! – safely and appropriately. Seek out help if you need support in this.

76. Listen to sad songs or watch sad movies if you need a good cry. (“Steel Magnolias, anyone?)

77. Dance around wildly to your favorite, most cheesy songs from your high school years.

78. Put your hands in dirt. If you have a garden, go garden. If you have some indoor plants, tend to them. If you don’t have plants or a garden, go outside. Go to a local nursery and touch and smell all the gorgeous plants.

79. If you want to stay in bed all day watching Netflix, do it. Indulge.

80. Watch or listen to some comedy shows or goofy podcasts.

81. Look for and Google up examples of people who have gone through and made it through what you’re currently facing. Seek out models of inspiration.

82. Get expert help with whatever you need. Whether that’s through therapy, psychiatry, a lawyer, clergy, let those trained to support you do it.

83. Educate yourself about what you’re going through. Learn about what you’re facing, what you can expect to feel, and how you can support yourself in this place.

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84. Establish a routine and stick to it. Routines can bring so much comfort and grounding in times of life that feel chaotic or out of control.

85. Do some hardcore nesting and make your home or bedroom as  cozy and beautiful and comforting as possible.

86. Get up early and watch a sunrise.

87. Go outside and set up a chair and watch the sunset.

88. Make your own list of self-soothing activities that engage all five of your senses.

89. Develop a supportive morning ritual for yourself.

90. Develop a relaxing evening ritual for yourself.

91. Join a support group for people who are going through what you’re going through. Check out the listings at local hospitals, libraries, churches, and universities to see what’s out there.

92. Volunteer at a local shelter or hospital or nursing home. Practice being of service to others who may also be going through a tough time.

93. Accompany a friend or family member to something. Even if it’s just keeping them company while they run errands, sometimes this kind of contact can feel like good self-care.

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94. Take your dog for a walk. Or borrow a friend’s dog and take them for a walk.

95. Challenge your negative thinking.

96. Practice grounding, relaxation techniques.

97. Do something spontaneous. Walk or drive a different way to work. Order something new off the menu.Listen to a Spotify playlist of new songs.

98. Work with your doctor, naturopath or nutritionist to develop a physical exercise plan and food plan that will be supportive to whatever you’re facing right now.

99. Pray. Meditate. Write a letter to God/The Universe/Source/Your Higher Self, whatever you believe in.

100. As much as you can, please try and trust the process.

101. Finally, please remember, what you’re going through right now is temporary. It may not feel like that from inside the tough time you’re in, but this too shall pass and you will feel different again someday. If you can’t have faith in that, let me hold the hope for you.

I hope you found this list of self-care suggestions helpful in some way.

But please remember, by no means is this list exhaustive nor will every item on this list possibly feel good and right for you. 

This list is not meant to be prescriptive, nor do I mean to imply you need to do all or any of these things to take good care of yourself. You are the expert of your own experience and I trust that you know what’s best for you.

Really, this list is really just a starting point meant to catalyze your own thinking about how you can best take care of yourself during life’s tough times and to spark your curiosity and interest in strengthening your self-care now and ongoing.

Also, my hope is that in reading this you’re also hearing me say how normal and natural it is to struggle and to have these tough, hard times. It’s part of being human. You’re not alone in this.

But I have to say: The suggestions in this list are in no way a substitute for care or advice from a licensed mental health care clinician. These are self-care coaching suggestions, not therapeutic advice.

Moreover, if you feel suicidal or find yourself having suicidal ideations, please call the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255.

Now I’d love to hear from you in the comments below: What self-care techniques have really supported you when going through life’s tough times? Let us know one or more ideas, tools or activities that have brought you relief and comfort so that others can benefit from your experience and wisdom. 

Until next time, take very good care of yourself.

Warmly, Annie