What do you really know about Depression and Anxiety?
As we explore our thoughts and feelings, we can mix up Clinical Depression with being Sad or Lonely?
Being happy relates to being aware.
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How to tell the difference between feeling sad and being depressed.
They're both valid experiences, but they're very different.
Depression is one of the most commonly experienced mental illnesses, with recent statistics
indicating that more than 3 in every 100 people suffer from it in the UK. But despite the frequency with which it occurs, it can be difficult for some people to tell whether they're
actually suffering from a bout of depression, or if they're just experiencing a phase of sadness.
Sadness is an emotion that must not be dismissed, but it is not the same as being depressed. So how can you tell the two apart? We asked Dr Mark Winwood, Director of Psychological Services for
AXA PPP healthcare, to explain exactly how to differentiate between the two. With this kind of information, you can determine whether what you're
experiencing is something you should seek support from your GP for.
"Depression is one of the commonly occurring mental health problems, characterised by a constant feeling of sadness, and is very different from temporarily feeling low," Dr Winwood told
Cosmopolitan UK.
"People living with depression often experience intense feelings of guilt, low self-esteem and poor energy and concentration, all of which can have a severe impact on day-to-day life.
While many of those who experience depression believe they are alone in their symptoms, in reality this is not the case."
When you feel sad, it can give you a bleak overall outlook on many areas of your life, however if you're depressed, you will experience a number of the symptoms listed below. But as Dr Winwood
points out: "Everyone that lives with depression experiences a different combination of symptoms".
The symptoms can be broken down into three categories - thoughts and feelings, physical symptoms, and behaviours:
Unable to relate with others / feeling misunderstood
Consistently feel low
Isolation
Numb or empty
No interest in usual hobbies
Behaviour
Detachment from others
Difficulty talking to people
Cry regularly
Avoiding usually enjoyable activities or social events
Self-harm
Sleeping or eating much more or less than usual
Increasing alcohol, tobacco or drug intake
Physical symptoms
Sudden increase or loss of appetite
Loss of sex drive and lack of interest in sex
Lack of energy
Increased feeling of aches and pains
Constipation
Disturbed sleep patterns
Menstrual cycle changes in women
You don't have to experience all of these symptoms to classify yourself as depressed. In fact, the reality it far from it.
"If you feel like you're experiencing four or more of these symptoms daily for more than two weeks, it is likely you are living with depressed mood and I
would recommend you visit your GP to
discuss the symptoms further," advised the doctor.
It’s probably safe to say that, at some point this week, you felt overwhelmed.
One of the biggest issues with overwhelm is that it can be completely paralyzing.
How can you figure out what to do or think with so many emotions, sensations, and thoughts competing for your attention?
As a therapist living and working in New York, I’ve been hearing this complaint from clients a lot — and I’ve been experiencing it myself, too.
To that end, I’ve created a five-minute trick you can use to break down your mindset and make a clear path forward.
This exercise is helpful whether you’re feeling too much, you’re confused about what you’re feeling, or you can’t even start to process what’s going on internally.
Some indicators of this last one are a strong need to avoid others or to distract yourself, whether that’s with wine or reality TV. Other signs of overwhelm include brain fog, feeling on edge, and
fatigue or numbness.
This trick can be done on a piece of paper or a touchscreen (or even in your head, if you’re in a pinch).
First, draw a large circle.
Next to it, make a list of everything you’re feeling, emotionally and physically.
Maybe your chest is tight with anxiety about your job, you’re angry about something in the news, and you’re also excited about an upcoming Zoom with an old friend.
If you notice body sensations that don’t tie to any specific emotion, mark those down, too.
For example, perhaps there’s a pit in your stomach and you’re not sure why, or you feel a gnawing hunger even though you’ve just eaten a snack.
You can also take note of purely physical sensations like back pain or an itchy bug bite. While these sensations may not have emotional roots, they still sap our energy and can contribute to
feeling overwhelmed, so they’re worth figuring out a way to consciously address.
Once you have the list, draw a line connecting any emotions or sensations that overlap.
For example, you might draw a line between “sad” and “down.”
Decide which word is the better descriptor, and cross out the other.
See if you can connect the unknown body sensations to an emotion at this point (perhaps tired=sad?).
If not, leave them as is.
When you have a final list, begin to make your circle into a pie chart.
How large a slice should each emotion get based on how much you’re feeling it?
You may need to take a few breaths and check inward.
Do the best you can, and don’t worry if you’re not sure if it’s completely accurate. (After all, emotions and sensations are, to a large degree, subjective.)
Does anything about the resulting pie chart surprise you?
Take special note of opposing emotions (for example, hope and hopelessness), as they may be taking up energy as they compete to be heard.
Be sure to address both with the next step, below.
Having a plan will help all of those emotions begin to calm now that they’ve had the chance to be heard.
Now that you have a concrete picture of your internal landscape, for each slice, write a bullet point or two about how you can address the emotion.
For example, under “hopeful,” you might write “attend a rally” or “journal about visions for a more inclusive work environment.”
Hopelessness may necessitate connection with a spiritual source, a favorite form of self-care, or just sitting with that feeling instead of pushing it away.
Decide which bullet points are the most important to address today, and don’t feel like you have to get to them all immediately.
Having a plan will help all of those emotions begin to calm now that they’ve had the chance to be heard.
If there are slices where you can’t think of anything to do (for example, a weird feeling that you’re forgetting something, or a vague sense of frustration or confusion), circle them and draw a
nearby heart. Same goes for body sensations that you still don’t understand (perhaps that gnawing hunger mentioned earlier, for example).
By doing this, you are acknowledging these facets of your psyche and opening up to further information from them when they’re ready to share.
Done on a regular basis, this quick practice can be illuminating as you see how the different slices change and shift.
Your newfound ability to name, acknowledge, and accept all of your emotions will not only prevent regular overwhelm, but also provide new energy to use as you navigate a constantly changing
world.
Anxiety and fear dissipate quickly when countered with conscious breathing.
The signals our bodies use to tell us we need to cleanse ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally are multifaceted and often mirror symptoms we associate with illness. If we heed these
signs, we not only feel better quickly but also stave off poor health before it can start. These quick fixes for common ailments can get you started.
1. Applying pressure to the acupressure point between the thumb and forefinger can release blockages causing pain, tension, and fatigue. You can relieve a headache naturally by squeezing for 20
seconds and releasing for 10 seconds, without letting go, four times.
2. To breathe freely, irrigate your nasal passages with a neti pot and warm salt water. As you clear and soothe the sinuses, congestion associated with allergies or infection will gradually
disappear.
3. Apple cider vinegar is a powerful purifying and detoxifying agent. Soaking for 20 minutes in a warm bath infused with two cups of apple cider vinegar pulls toxins from the body and can clear
blocked energy.
4. The foods you eat can have a profound impact on your outlook and mood. Eating a small yet satisfying meal rich in complex carbohydrates can lift your spirit and help you let go of feelings of
anger, irritability, and depression.
5. Anxiety and fear dissipate quickly when countered with conscious breathing because concentrating on the breath enables you to refocus your attention inward. You can ground yourself and regain your
usual calm by taking a series of deep belly breaths as you visualize your feet growing roots that stretch miles down into the earth.
6. Though tuning out can seem counterproductive, a few minutes spent lost in daydreams or listening to soothing music can help you see your circumstances from a new angle when you feel
frustrated.
7. If you feel ill health coming on, brew a wellness elixir. Simmer three sliced lemons, one teaspoon freshly grated ginger, one clove freshly minced garlic, and one quarter teaspoon cayenne pepper
in five cups water until the lemons are soft and pale. Strain a portion into a mug and add honey by tablespoons until you can tolerate the taste. Drinking this potent mixture of antibacterial,
antiviral, and antifungal ingredients three times each day can ensure your symptoms never progress into a full-blown illness.
Sipping my Americano, I nod in response to my friend and then open and close my palm in a gesture to say “Tell me more.”
A few years earlier he went through a dark time when a drunk driver hit his motorcycle and he lost a leg. Not long after, his wife of two months filed for an annulment.
We’ve often talked through his depression and lifelong struggle with it, but this time the situation was different. He’d recovered from the loss of his leg and was in a healthy spot with his new
girlfriend.
“Well, my day begins early enough and I’m ready to tackle the things I need to. I have a break between clients most days, so I tell myself I’ll use the time to accomplish what I need to get done
for work, my relationships, and life in general.
Chores, bills, you know.” Trailing off he bites down on his breakfast taco, then wipes the edge of his mouth.
“Anyway, I do none of it. I’ll sleep, or I’ll put on Netflix and zone out.
Then I run late for appointments and I’m pissed at myself for not doing what I need to.
At night it’s the same story — more Netflix and apathy.
Then I begin to feel indifferent and hate myself that I feel so numb to my circumstances.
From there, I spiral.
It gets harder to get out of bed every day.
I don’t go to the gym.
I don’t practice my spiritual disciplines.
I hate myself for it, but I also have little zest for life and I grow increasingly depressed, isolating myself from others and believing this is how it will be forever.
I have no idea how to break out of it, and my pills don’t seem to help.”
Whistling low through my teeth, I slurp my drink once more then smile. “Well the good news is it’s not quite depression.”
The disbelief on my friend’s face is clear. He’s spent most of his life battling depression.
But I hold up my hand before he can object: “You’re dealing with depression’s twin cousin. It’s called acedia.”
“Ah-seed-e-what?”
The Noonday Demon
Acedia (pronounced ah-SEED-e-uh) is an old term coined by monks who lived in the desert during the fourth century.
Before the Seven Deadly Sins became known to the world, the early Desert Fathers had a list of “Eight Bad Thoughts.”
One of the most severe thoughts was that of acedia, which the church eventually rolled up under the sin of “sloth” when the seven sins became commonplace.
One would think “lust” would be the one they hammered on given the religious leanings of the modern church, but it was considered one of the most minor “bad thoughts.”
The monks viewed lust as a lower form of greed in that you desired something you didn’t have.
Acedia was one of the most severe and deadly thoughts because of the despair and absolute disdain for life it produced in a human being.
It’s a shame the word has been lost to ancient textbooks and is no longer used, because acedia’s connotations carry far more weight in today’s cultural environment.
I first learned the term when I read author Kathleen Norris’s book, Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life. In the book she quotes a monk who states:
“The demon of acedia — also called the noonday demon — is the one that causes the most serious trouble of all…He makes it seem that the sun barely moves, if at all, and…he instills in the heart of
the monk a hatred for the place, a hatred for his very life itself.”
Many of the desert monks found themselves in the same place as my friend. Work in the morning, but by noon, they despised the repetitive nature of chores or work.
After some time in this condition, they felt little zeal for life. Prayer stopped, sleeping increased, and they felt numb. Eventually, they despised life itself as they spiraled into a dark
hole.
This condition can even begin due to traumatic events in one’s life. Norris — no stranger to suffering and pain — tragically lost her husband, but instead of spiraling into depression, she found
herself battling acedia. In an interview regarding her struggle after
her husbands death she explained:
“There were so many days when I woke up indifferent to everything, especially when my husband died…When he was alive, the care-giving had to be done so I couldn’t be indifferent. But I think one
of the worst phases — and I don’t want to malign the show because it was kind of entertaining — was when I watched an entire season of America’s Next Top Model. In one sitting.”
Reading through the book, I nodded along and remembered times when I thought I’d been depressed only to discover I’d been battling its twin cousin.
That old feeling of indifference and apathy leading to a numbness, only to spiral further out of control and despise being alive.
When I started researching depression for a book I was writing, our organization surveyed five hundred men and women.
When we compiled their answers, many of them explained the exact symptoms of acedia.
Because depression is complex and we use one word to lump several aspects together, the healing process can become confusing.
It’s like the word “love” in effect. While I love my wife, I also love breakfast tacos.
But I certainly don’t “love” the two the same way.
That morning over coffee, I explained to my friend that due to the way depression and acedia intertwine, he could be dealing with both at the same time.
“The good news and bad news, however,” I told him, “is acedia is a condition you can fight, but fighting it can also be mundane and feel as if you’re getting nowhere.”
Combatting Acedia
I’m willing to bet if I asked each person reading this, “What things are you constantly putting off and why don’t you want to do them?” everyone would have an answer. In our day-to-day lives vain
repetition sounds terrible and we hate doing it.
For instance, if I told you I needed you to stuff 2,000 envelopes with letters, then handwrite the names and different addresses on them, you’d say it was torture, right?
We put off things like prayer though we’re certain it will enrich our spiritual life. We put off doing the dishes or laundry even though we know we need clean dishes to eat on and clothes to
wear.
After I gave my friend a copy of the book Acedia & Me for him to read, he called me one evening to say, “MY GOD! IT’S LIKE I’M READING MY LIFE ON PAPER!”
He found that even in his romantic relationships acedia had covertly snuck in.
While finding romance and a significant other is often on the forefront of many young singles’ minds, here’s something most people forget about staying together “for better or for worse”: it can —
at times — feel like going through the motions.
That romantic infatuation or ooey gooey feeling you once had, with time, will morph into a love of the will.
Funny enough, every marriage that has stood the test of time will confirm “love is a choice and action, not just a feeling.”
So here’s the good news.
Combating acedia has simple steps that can help you act and combat the feelings of indifference, self-hate, apathy, and keep you from spiraling further.
The bad news is that it begins by choosing to take part in little things that may seem repetitive, but make a big difference.
When HeartSupport surveyed our 500 respondents battling through depression, we asked a simple question: “What things have helped you cope and battle your depression?” Here’s what their
answers revealed — most of the activities that helped were repetitive tasks that could be done daily or weekly.
Things like serving within their community, writing, journaling, yoga, exercise, cleaning, or several other mundane or repetitive activities.
What the desert monks found in their battle with acedia was the same.
They found joy after they had completed tasks at work even though sometimes the drudgery seemed insurmountable. By pushing through and praying — even in short bouts — they were glad they did. For
everyone in this life, discipline often becomes the defining fire by which things like talent or goals become an actual ability.
It is indifference and believing it will always be this way that keeps us stuck. You may be tempted to think, “this is just another way to call depression something else” but consider
that there’s always been a power in naming things or knowing your enemy to fight them.
For instance, in his epic, The Name of the Wind, author Patrick Rothfuss has his main character learn the name of the wind to command the element which in turn transforms him into a
legendary wizard. In Harry Potter, knowing Voldemort’s name — and that he was Harry’s true enemy — gave Harry the power to defeat the evil magician. Perhaps the most quoted example comes from Sun
Tzu’s The Art of War in which he states:
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
If you don’t know what you’re fighting, then you can’t expect there to be progress. But if you do?
There’s a good chance that some forward momentum, no matter how small, might be the crest of the tide that begins to break the chains.
So if your enemy’s name is acedia, then you know what to do.
We all have the endless chatter and noise in our head, often referred to as the monkey mind.
It's been called the monkey mind – the endless chattering in your head as you jump in your mind from thought to thought while you daydream, analyze your relationships, or worry over the future.
Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you're left totally confused.
One way to tame this wild creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that when you clear your mind for meditation you actually invite the monkey in your mind to play. This
is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of a thought rather than thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When
you are aware of your thoughts, you can let your thoughts rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to
slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts.
To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your
breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Fire can also be
mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not
to blink.
Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do
so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you.
Frequently, in walking through our fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of sync with
reality.
The situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, self-magnifies. It is when you are afraid and
envisioning all that might go wrong that the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyzes
you into inaction. Though frequently, in walking through that fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of synch with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to
great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds.
Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can nonetheless become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your
potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions.
Walking through it, whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once
you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. As you spend time worrying about what might happen, it's good to
know that your fear probably won't happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear
can mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small.
Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face,
the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in
yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier.
"How living my life on the internet impacted my mental health"
YouTuber Lucy Wood opens up about the link between social media and personal wellbeing.
"I started making YouTube videos in the summer of 2013. I'd just finished uni and was in that classic 'I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life' phase -
I basically needed something to do. It was a bit of fun at the time, before YouTube was a big marketable thing; before anyone was famous because of it. People made content because
they wanted to share what they bought, talk about their favourite lipsticks, do a Primark haul.
I'd lived my life on the Internet before this anyway, but it was over the following three or four years when my subscriber count grew significantly, that I noticed the relationship between my
mental health and YouTube change. Read
more....
OPINION: Being high-functioning and depressed doesn’t mean you’re not suffering
Writing this article, I knew it would be difficult for me to get the words out. I wanted to talk about depression generally enough so others could relate, but also
specifically enough for it to matter.
I knew the topic of being extroverted and depressed would be hard to put into words.
Sometimes you get depressed because of events that happen in your life. You just can’t process through everything and your mind just can’t handle it.
Other times, you wake up and you can’t get out of bed for no reason. There’s no reason to be sad in your life; you go to college, you have friends and a nice family,
but you just feel sad and lonely. You just sit there and you can’t focus on anything because your mind won’t cooperate.
The latter is what it’s like for me. I have two jobs and friends, and staying busy keeps my mind from running. Read more....
Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean:
Expert Insights for Women on Treating Depression (also great for men )
Psychiatrist Peter D. Kramer Discusses Help for Mood Disorder Symptoms
Ever been depressed and felt you should be able to recover without help or, worse, that you were born to suffer?
In thisLifescript exclusive, depression expert Peter D. Kramer, M.D., shares how treatments have evolved, some surprising causes and what
patients need to know about getting help. read more.......
Sometimes we need to be alone, to simply do nothing but enjoy the sound of silence.
We all need time alone. Even those of us who are social butterflies need some time to ourselves. Solitude is necessary for meditation and quiet reflection. We also
may choose to isolate ourselves when we are busy and need to meet a deadline. We may cherish time alone when we want to give ourselves over to art or music, lose ourselves in a good book, or delve
into a personal project. Having time to ourselves allows us to focus completely on our yoga practice or get into the zone while running or strength training. Sometimes we need to be alone to simply
do nothing but enjoy the sound of silence. Our alone time revitalizes and replenishes us, grounding us in our own company.
Yet, too much isolation, especially when our intention is to hide, withdraw, or not deal with the realities of our lives is not physically, mentally, or spiritually healthy. It is during moments like
these when being in isolation takes us away from our lives, rather than enhancing it. If anything, too much isolation can create a buffer whereby we don't have to deal with our problems. Sometimes,
pushing ourselves to deal with our issues and be in our lives, rather than isolate, is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves.
Also, just as it is important for us to have our "alone" time, we need to remember that as human beings, we are by nature social creatures that thrive on human contact. Our lives cannot occur in a
vacuum, and we cannot fully live in this world without interacting with others. Consider using isolation as time spent for rest, reinvigoration, and personal growth. Isolation can then not only
empower you, but it can allow you to return to your work and your relationships restored and ready for life.
What’s the best way to respond when someone tells you they are having a panic attack or feeling severely anxious? There are many forms of anxiety disorder, including generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia and
PTSD. While social phobia is characterised by the ‘intense fear of humiliation in social settings’, panic disorder is often linked to a sudden and unpredictable feeling of terror.
Some common features of anxiety disorders are panic attacks or episodes, and the avoidance or fear of specific places or situations (crowds, or driving, or taking public transport). Panic
attacks usually last for four to six minutes and can include a racing heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling, sweating, chills or hot flushes, difficulty breathing, a sense of unreality
and chest pains. According to SADAG, ‘Women are
affected twice as frequently as men’ – more great news about being a woman today.
Here are a few suggestions for how to support a friend or loved one when they’re going through an episode or attack:
1. Curb the ‘What If?’ thoughts by helping them to focus on the present
The feeling of fear is disproportionate to the actual situation. You can help bring the the person going through the attack back into the present by encouraging them to focus on manageable tasks,
for example, naming the objects or colours around them, or counting backwards from 100 in threes.
2. Confront it by naming or labelling the experience
Call it what it is (anxiety, a panic attack) and don’t wish the attack away. Accept it and encourage your friend to give it time to pass. SADAG suggests asking your friend to rate the feeling of
fear or anxiety from zero to 10. Then encourage them to keep track of how it fluctuates and notice that it will not stay at the highest level for too long. Remind your friend that they will be okay –
it’s an attack and it’s going to pass.
3. Ask and affirm, don’t assume
Ask the person what they need right now, and ask what you can do. They may be able to guide you and, for example, ask for help getting out of the building or for help with a specific need. Don’t
make assumptions. It can sometimes help to affirm or support them with words of encouragement, or just affirmation – ‘we’ll stay here as long as you need to’ – depending on the person. You can
also affirm them by acknowledging small victories; things that may seem unremarkable but are a huge deal for someone with an anxiety disorder, like making it to the shops. It’s important to commend
small steps and not enable avoidance.
4. Don’t dictate or be dismissive
You can encourage breathing slowly, but don’t dismiss what is happening by saying things like ‘just relax’ or ‘calm down’. If they could, they would. Don’t say disparaging things like ‘you’re just
being irrational’ or ‘you have to do x’ – that will likely make it worse. Be patient.
5. Don’t be a martyr
Do not panic when you see someone having a panic attack. You might understandably be concerned, but compounding it does not help. Do not sacrifice your own well-being or health to help someone
with anxiety. This will cause resentment. It’s important to remain functional.
6. Help them to get help
Remember that the person may need professional help, and you can encourage them to do something about their anxiety. Anxiety disorders may not be caused by a single condition or situation. The disorder could come about as a result
of hereditary factors, brain chemistry, life experiences, or a combination of all three. It can be aggravated by certain physical or environmental triggers, so it may help to know what
those are for the affected person. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication in severe cases are the advised treatments.
Depression Screener
Taking a depression-screening test is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. The
depression-screening test on this site is completely anonymous and confidential. TAKE THE TEST
Additional LINKS for more information on Depression
Listed below are links to more information on what is quickly labeled DEPRESSION. You have to be aware of your own feelings.....no one else feels
them. Explore the WWW for answers and come up with some possible understanding of how you feel and why. For further answers seek professional assistance.
NOW if you feel you are really feeling SAD, alone or other stuff, explore the links on self- love and discove your Trunp
Card. You are unique, you are important, you are perfect.
How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust [self-trust]
What the heck is self-trust?
If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust. Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or
speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked
about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.
Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it? New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never
followed through on for your business, health or finances. We’ve all done it. Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else. Would you have tried harder to do what you said
you were going to do? Most would answer that with a resounding YES!
Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust. It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you. Low
trust is the very definition of a bad relationship. Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?
Why does this matter? Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself! If you wanna know how to develop as
a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.
In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all
types of relationships. That principle is credibility. Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?” If the answer is no,
don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!
“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
So there are 4 Cores of Credibility. Basically, these are what make you believeable! The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related. All 4 are
necessary!
This isn’t the same as honesty. It’s much more than that. Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs. You’re actions are congruent
with your values.
Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?
This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior. Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated. It grows when we serve and
lead.
Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?
Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence. This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge… It’s the means we use to produce
results. These can come from training.
Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?
Did you do what you said you would do? People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them. This affects self-trust when you
continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.
To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree. Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured. Integrity
exists as the roots and Results at the top. Makes sense, right?
Look over these cores of credibility. Where do you need work? Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back? Identify the areas you need work and get to
it. If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?
Could You Be Depressed? Here is a basic quiz indicator.
Like
Picasso, everyone goes through a "blue period" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20
million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function normally day to day.
Find out if you're just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.
As you explored these links.......did you find an outstanding Web Site that you would like to share with others. It is all about connection. Drop us a web email from the Contact Page.
Links from readers of this Web Site:
Dr. Phil.com- A great source for information. Sent to
p
What’s the best way to respond when someone tells you they are having a panic attack or feeling severely anxious? There are many forms of anxiety disorder, including generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia and
PTSD. While social phobia is characterised by the ‘intense fear of humiliation in social settings’, panic disorder is often linked to a sudden and unpredictable feeling of terror.
Some common features of anxiety disorders are panic attacks or episodes, and the avoidance or fear of specific places or situations (crowds, or driving, or taking public transport). Panic
attacks usually last for four to six minutes and can include a racing heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling, sweating, chills or hot flushes, difficulty breathing, a sense of unreality
and chest pains. According to SADAG, ‘Women are
affected twice as frequently as men’ – more great news about being a woman today.
Here are a few suggestions for how to support a friend or loved one when they’re going through an episode or attack:
1. Curb the ‘What If?’ thoughts by helping them to focus on the present
The feeling of fear is disproportionate to the actual situation. You can help bring the the person going through the attack back into the present by encouraging them to focus on manageable tasks,
for example, naming the objects or colours around them, or counting backwards from 100 in threes.
2. Confront it by naming or labelling the experience
Call it what it is (anxiety, a panic attack) and don’t wish the attack away. Accept it and encourage your friend to give it time to pass. SADAG suggests asking your friend to rate the feeling of
fear or anxiety from zero to 10. Then encourage them to keep track of how it fluctuates and notice that it will not stay at the highest level for too long. Remind your friend that they will be okay –
it’s an attack and it’s going to pass.
3. Ask and affirm, don’t assume
Ask the person what they need right now, and ask what you can do. They may be able to guide you and, for example, ask for help getting out of the building or for help with a specific need. Don’t
make assumptions. It can sometimes help to affirm or support them with words of encouragement, or just affirmation – ‘we’ll stay here as long as you need to’ – depending on the person. You can
also affirm them by acknowledging small victories; things that may seem unremarkable but are a huge deal for someone with an anxiety disorder, like making it to the shops. It’s important to commend
small steps and not enable avoidance.
4. Don’t dictate or be dismissive
You can encourage breathing slowly, but don’t dismiss what is happening by saying things like ‘just relax’ or ‘calm down’. If they could, they would. Don’t say disparaging things like ‘you’re just
being irrational’ or ‘you have to do x’ – that will likely make it worse. Be patient.
5. Don’t be a martyr
Do not panic when you see someone having a panic attack. You might understandably be concerned, but compounding it does not help. Do not sacrifice your own well-being or health to help someone
with anxiety. This will cause resentment. It’s important to remain functional.
6. Help them to get help
Remember that the person may need professional help, and you can encourage them to do something about their anxiety. Anxiety disorders may not be caused by a single condition or situation. The disorder could come about as a result
of hereditary factors, brain chemistry, life experiences, or a combination of all three. It can be aggravated by certain physical or environmental triggers, so it may help to know what
those are for the affected person. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication in severe cases are the advised treatments.
Depression Screener
Taking a depression-screening test is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. The
depression-screening test on this site is completely anonymous and confidential. TAKE THE TEST
The 10 Depression Tools
These proven tools can help you feel stronger and more hopeful. Check out each page for specific, easy-to-follow tips.
Connect with others
Stay positive
Get physically active
Help others
Get enough sleep
Create joy and satisfaction
Eat well
Take care of your spirit
Deal better with hard times
Get professional help if you need it
Many people handle what they feel is depress in different ways. There is research on alternatives to medication and sitting at home. Here are a
video's to inspire you:
Click "right on top of the Video" to contact Justin for more information.
In defining the Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron provides examples of characteristic behaviors, and these are reflected in the questions she typically asks patients or interview
subjects:
Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now...
Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now... it's less than 5 minutes, but watch it only if you believe it can work (if you're skeptical or not in
the mood, this will make you throw-up in your throat a little and we don't want that).
Additional LINKS for more information on Depression
Listed below are links to more information on what is quickly labeled DEPRESSION. You have to be aware of your own feelings.....no one else feels
them. Explore the WWW for answers and come up with some possible understanding of how you feel and why. For further answers seek professional assistance.
NOW if you feel you are really feeling SAD, alone or other stuff, explore the links on self- love and discove your Trunp
Card. You are unique, you are important, you are perfect.
How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust [self-trust]
What the heck is self-trust?
If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust. Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or
speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked
about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.
Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it? New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never
followed through on for your business, health or finances. We’ve all done it. Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else. Would you have tried harder to do what you said
you were going to do? Most would answer that with a resounding YES!
Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust. It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you. Low
trust is the very definition of a bad relationship. Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?
Why does this matter? Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself! If you wanna know how to develop as
a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.
In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all
types of relationships. That principle is credibility. Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?” If the answer is no,
don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!
“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
So there are 4 Cores of Credibility. Basically, these are what make you believeable! The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related. All 4 are
necessary!
This isn’t the same as honesty. It’s much more than that. Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs. You’re actions are congruent
with your values.
Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?
This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior. Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated. It grows when we serve and
lead.
Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?
Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence. This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge… It’s the means we use to produce
results. These can come from training.
Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?
Did you do what you said you would do? People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them. This affects self-trust when you
continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.
To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree. Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured. Integrity
exists as the roots and Results at the top. Makes sense, right?
Look over these cores of credibility. Where do you need work? Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back? Identify the areas you need work and get to
it. If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?
Could You Be Depressed? Here is a basic quiz indicator.
Like
Picasso, everyone goes through a "blue period" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20
million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function normally day to day.
Find out if you're just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.
As you explored these links.......did you find an outstanding Web Site that you would like to share with others. It is all about connection. Drop us a web email from the Contact Page.
Links from readers of this Web Site:
Dr. Phil.com- A great source for information. Sent to
post on site by Steve.
Expert Insights for Women on Treating Depression (also great for men )
Psychiatrist Peter D. Kramer Discusses Help for Mood Disorder Symptoms
Ever been depressed and felt you should be able to recover without help or, worse, that you were born to suffer?
In thisLifescript exclusive, depression expert Peter D. Kramer, M.D., shares how treatments have evolved, some surprising causes and what
patients need to know about getting help. read more.......
What’s the best way to respond when someone tells you they are having a panic attack or feeling severely anxious? There are many forms of anxiety disorder, including generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia and
PTSD. While social phobia is characterised by the ‘intense fear of humiliation in social settings’, panic disorder is often linked to a sudden and unpredictable feeling of terror.
Some common features of anxiety disorders are panic attacks or episodes, and the avoidance or fear of specific places or situations (crowds, or driving, or taking public transport). Panic
attacks usually last for four to six minutes and can include a racing heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling, sweating, chills or hot flushes, difficulty breathing, a sense of unreality
and chest pains. According to SADAG, ‘Women are
affected twice as frequently as men’ – more great news about being a woman today.
Here are a few suggestions for how to support a friend or loved one when they’re going through an episode or attack:
1. Curb the ‘What If?’ thoughts by helping them to focus on the present
The feeling of fear is disproportionate to the actual situation. You can help bring the the person going through the attack back into the present by encouraging them to focus on manageable tasks,
for example, naming the objects or colours around them, or counting backwards from 100 in threes.
2. Confront it by naming or labelling the experience
Call it what it is (anxiety, a panic attack) and don’t wish the attack away. Accept it and encourage your friend to give it time to pass. SADAG suggests asking your friend to rate the feeling of
fear or anxiety from zero to 10. Then encourage them to keep track of how it fluctuates and notice that it will not stay at the highest level for too long. Remind your friend that they will be okay –
it’s an attack and it’s going to pass.
3. Ask and affirm, don’t assume
Ask the person what they need right now, and ask what you can do. They may be able to guide you and, for example, ask for help getting out of the building or for help with a specific need. Don’t
make assumptions. It can sometimes help to affirm or support them with words of encouragement, or just affirmation – ‘we’ll stay here as long as you need to’ – depending on the person. You can
also affirm them by acknowledging small victories; things that may seem unremarkable but are a huge deal for someone with an anxiety disorder, like making it to the shops. It’s important to commend
small steps and not enable avoidance.
4. Don’t dictate or be dismissive
You can encourage breathing slowly, but don’t dismiss what is happening by saying things like ‘just relax’ or ‘calm down’. If they could, they would. Don’t say disparaging things like ‘you’re just
being irrational’ or ‘you have to do x’ – that will likely make it worse. Be patient.
5. Don’t be a martyr
Do not panic when you see someone having a panic attack. You might understandably be concerned, but compounding it does not help. Do not sacrifice your own well-being or health to help someone
with anxiety. This will cause resentment. It’s important to remain functional.
6. Help them to get help
Remember that the person may need professional help, and you can encourage them to do something about their anxiety. Anxiety disorders may not be caused by a single condition or situation. The disorder could come about as a result
of hereditary factors, brain chemistry, life experiences, or a combination of all three. It can be aggravated by certain physical or environmental triggers, so it may help to know what
those are for the affected person. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication in severe cases are the advised treatments.
Depression Screener
Taking a depression-screening test is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. The
depression-screening test on this site is completely anonymous and confidential. TAKE THE TEST
How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust [self-trust]
Sometimes we need to be alone, to simply do nothing but enjoy the sound of silence.
We all need time alone. Even those of us who are social butterflies need some time to ourselves. Solitude is necessary for meditation and quiet reflection. We also
may choose to isolate ourselves when we are busy and need to meet a deadline. We may cherish time alone when we want to give ourselves over to art or music, lose ourselves in a good book, or delve
into a personal project. Having time to ourselves allows us to focus completely on our yoga practice or get into the zone while running or strength training. Sometimes we need to be alone to simply
do nothing but enjoy the sound of silence. Our alone time revitalizes and replenishes us, grounding us in our own company.
Yet, too much isolation, especially when our intention is to hide, withdraw, or not deal with the realities of our lives is not physically, mentally, or spiritually healthy. It is during moments like
these when being in isolation takes us away from our lives, rather than enhancing it. If anything, too much isolation can create a buffer whereby we don't have to deal with our problems. Sometimes,
pushing ourselves to deal with our issues and be in our lives, rather than isolate, is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves.
Also, just as it is important for us to have our "alone" time, we need to remember that as human beings, we are by nature social creatures that thrive on human contact. Our lives cannot occur in a
vacuum, and we cannot fully live in this world without interacting with others. Consider using isolation as time spent for rest, reinvigoration, and personal growth. Isolation can then not only
empower you, but it can allow you to return to your work and your relationships restored and ready for life.
If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust. Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or
speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked
about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.
Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it? New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never
followed through on for your business, health or finances. We’ve all done it. Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else. Would you have tried harder to do what you said
you were going to do? Most would answer that with a resounding YES!
Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust. It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you. Low
trust is the very definition of a bad relationship. Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?
Why does this matter? Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself! If you wanna know how to develop as
a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.
In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all
types of relationships. That principle is credibility. Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?” If the answer is no,
don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!
“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
So there are 4 Cores of Credibility. Basically, these are what make you believeable! The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related. All 4 are
necessary!
This isn’t the same as honesty. It’s much more than that. Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs. You’re actions are congruent
with your values.
Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?
This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior. Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated. It grows when we serve and
lead.
Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?
Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence. This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge… It’s the means we use to produce
results. These can come from training.
Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?
Did you do what you said you would do? People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them. This affects self-trust when you
continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.
To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree. Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured. Integrity
exists as the roots and Results at the top. Makes sense, right?
Look over these cores of credibility. Where do you need work? Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back? Identify the areas you need work and get to
it. If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?
Could You Be Depressed? Here is a basic quiz indicator.
Like Picasso, everyone goes through a "blue period" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are
experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20 million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function
normally day to day.
Find out if you're just blue or if you
might be clinically depressed.
Many people handle what they feel is depress in different ways. There is research on alternatives to medication and sitting at home. Here are a
video's to inspire you:
Click "right on top of the Video" to contact Justin for more information.
Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now...
Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now... it's less than 5 minutes, but watch it only if you believe it can work (if you're skeptical or not in
the mood, this will make you throw-up in your throat a little and we don't want that).
Additional LINKS for more information on Depression
Listed below are links to more information on what is quickly labeled DEPRESSION. You have to be aware of your own feelings.....no one else feels
them. Explore the WWW for answers and come up with some possible understanding of how you feel and why. For further answers seek professional assistance.
NOW if you feel you are really feeling SAD, alone or other stuff, explore the links on self- love and discove your Trunp
Card. You are unique, you are important, you are perfect.
As you explored these links.......did you find an outstanding Web Site that you would like to share with others. It is all about connection. Drop us a web email from the Contact Page.
Links from readers of this Web Site:
Dr. Phil.com- A great source for information. Sent
to post on site by Steve.