What do you really know about Depression and Anxiety?

 

Image result for being sad pic

 

As we explore our thoughts and feelings,  we can mix up Clinical Depression with being Sad or Lonely?

 

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How to tell the difference between feeling sad and being depressed.

 

They're both valid experiences, but they're very different.

How to tell the difference between feeling sad and being depressed

 
Depression is one of the most commonly experienced mental illnesses, with recent statistics indicating that more than 3 in every 100 people suffer from it in the UK. But despite the frequency with which it occurs, it can be difficult for some people to tell whether they're actually suffering from a bout of depression, or if they're just experiencing a phase of sadness.
 
Sadness is an emotion that must not be dismissed, but it is not the same as being depressed. So how can you tell the two apart? We asked Dr Mark Winwood, Director of Psychological Services for AXA PPP healthcare, to explain exactly how to differentiate between the two. With this kind of information, you can determine whether what you're experiencing is something you should seek support from your GP for.
 
"Depression is one of the commonly occurring mental health problems, characterised by a constant feeling of sadness, and is very different from temporarily feeling low," Dr Winwood told Cosmopolitan UK.
 
"People living with depression often experience intense feelings of guilt, low self-esteem and poor energy and concentration, all of which can have a severe impact on day-to-day life. While many of those who experience depression believe they are alone in their symptoms, in reality this is not the case."
 
Young woman writing diary in bed
 
When you feel sad, it can give you a bleak overall outlook on many areas of your life, however if you're depressed, you will experience a number of the symptoms listed below. But as Dr Winwood points out: "Everyone that lives with depression experiences a different combination of symptoms".
 

The symptoms can be broken down into three categories - thoughts and feelings, physical symptoms, and behaviours:

 

Thoughts and feelings

  • Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem
  • Sudden forgetfulness, concentration issues and/or indecisiveness
  • Negative thinking
  • View of life as pointless
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Constant sense of guilt
  • Sense of worthlessness
  • Helplessness
  • Low sex drive
  • Easily agitated and/or irritated
  • Numbness
  • Unable to relate with others / feeling misunderstood
  • Consistently feel low
  • Isolation
  • Numb or empty
  • No interest in usual hobbies

Behaviour

  • Detachment from others
  • Difficulty talking to people
  • Cry regularly
  • Avoiding usually enjoyable activities or social events
  • Self-harm
  • Sleeping or eating much more or less than usual
  • Increasing alcohol, tobacco or drug intake

Physical symptoms

  • Sudden increase or loss of appetite
  • Loss of sex drive and lack of interest in sex
  • Lack of energy
  • Increased feeling of aches and pains
  • Constipation
  • Disturbed sleep patterns
  • Menstrual cycle changes in women

You don't have to experience all of these symptoms to classify yourself as depressed. In fact, the reality it far from it.

 

"If you feel like you're experiencing four or more of these symptoms daily for more than two weeks, it is likely you are living with depressed mood and I would recommend you visit your GP to

discuss the symptoms further," advised the doctor.

 

 

Anxiety Disorders: What Are They?

 

6 Subtle Things That Significantly Mess With Your Anxiety

5,008 Anxiety disorder Images - Free & Royalty-free Stock Anxiety disorder Photos & Pictures | Depositphotos
 
 

Anxiety is tricky.

 

It can feel like your only means of survival when, in fact, it’s the one thing that’s completely ruining your life.

 

Let me start by saying I’m not a therapist, nor am I a psychologist.

I am, however, someone who suffers from anxiety.

 

I’m a woman who watched many years of my life be robbed by the crippling effects of anxiety.

I’m a woman who wants to help spread what I’ve learned through managing my own anxiety.

 

With that being said, therapy works wonders, especially cognitive behavioral therapy.

If you’re currently seeking professional help, kudos to you.

I hope it changes your world for the better.

 

Aside from therapy, though, there are small changes you can make in your life that don’t make your anxiety worse.

They’re subtle behaviors and ways you choose to spend the downtime that causes unnecessary distress without you realizing it.

 

So what are those subtle things that can make your anxiety worse?

Let’s talk about them.

 

Staying up well into the night while scrolling on your phone.

Let’s be real; everyone does this.

Social media is designed to make it effortless to scroll for hours without you even realizing it.

But for those of us who suffer from anxiety, it’s a recipe for disaster.

 

First, staring at your phone screen before bed ruins your sleep cycle.

Instead of letting your eyes rest before bed, you’re exposing them to blue light, which is shown to keep you more awake and alert.

 

Which isn’t a big deal during the day, but it’s a huge deal at night.

Sleep is beneficial for people who suffer from anxiety. You need a good night’s rest.

 

Second, social media is a black hole for feeling good.

You’re more likely to come across sensationalized content that triggers your anxiety or content you can compare yourself to, making you feel worse about yourself.

 

Assuming that texts and DM’s suffice as socializing.

Many people think that when they’re stressed or going through hard times that isolation from other people is what’s necessary.

But research shows that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Socialization is key to feeling better.

 

I know that can feel hard or near impossible, so it’s important to pinpoint which of your friends and family members you feel most comfortable with.

That way, it doesn’t feel totally out of your comfort zone to see them.

 

Keeping in touch with people via texts is great and all, but it’s in-person meet-ups or, at the very least, phone calls that help distract you from the negative effects of anxiety.

Through people, you can also regulate your emotions and calm your worries.

 

Watching and reading content that upsets you.

As someone whose anxious, I’m sure you agree that you feel a lot of feelings. For me, it took a long time to realize just how significantly the content I consumed affected my anxiety and overall happiness.

 

Say you’re watching a drama series on Netflix.

You’re watching a character’s life completely unravel and, before you know it, you’re empathizing with the character.

When you finally turn off the TV, you’re sad and feel gloomy inside.

 

This same experience goes for the music you listen to, books you read, and movies you watch.

When you consume sad, negative, or stressful content, it greatly affects your mood.

But the same goes for calming, happy content.

You can use the opposite to your advantage.

 

Putting off life’s responsibilities.

At the peak of my anxiety, I put off everything. Doctors appointments. Doing my taxes. Paying bills. And even simple things like making meals or taking showers. But all that did was heighten my anxiety.

Procrastination is something we all do at some point in our lives, but it’s a Catch-22 for people with anxiety. You may think that you won’t feel anxious by avoiding uncomfortable responsibilities, but the lingering reminder that they need to be done only increases anticipatory anxiety.

I’m not saying you have to complete your whole to-do list in one fell swoop, but you’re going to feel a lot of relief if you check one thing off your list. It’s one less thing that will haunt you in the moments just before you fall asleep when your mind is racing with everything you need to do.

Hyper-focusing on the future.

My therapist once said, “anxiety lives in the future, and depression lives in the past,” and that really put things into perspective for me. I feel the most anxious when I invest too much energy into worrying about the future.

The thing about hyper-focusing on the future is that it’s unknown. You can imagine a million different outcomes and, for us anxious people, those tend to be very doom-and-gloom—cue anxiety increase.

It’s going to feel difficult but retraining your brain to focus on the present is crucial to feeling less anxious. There are plenty of grounding exercises you can use and mindfulness techniques that help you focus on the here and now.

Sitting down more than you moving your body.

Isolation and over-worrying don’t normally coincide with exercise. For the most part, they’re both activities that people with anxiety do while curled up in their beds bingeing TV shows.

But exercise is a great way to manage anxiety. It’s shown to improve your sleep, reduce stress, and release feel-good hormones called serotonin. My point: there’s a long list of benefits from exercise for anxious people.

Now maybe you’re thinking, “but I hate exercising!” or “that’s the last thing I want to do when I’m anxious.” Both are fair points. But doing something as simple as taking a walk has the same benefits, too. Plus, you can listen to your favorite music, podcast, or audiobook while you do.

 

These behaviors might seem subtle, but repetition of them will significantly impact your mental health. It tends to be the small things that go unnoticed that cause us the most harm.

I’m not saying that changing these behaviors will suddenly fix your anxiety (that’s what therapy is for). But it doesn’t hurt to give yourself the best chance you can at a happier life with less anxiety.

 

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20 JOURNAL PROMPTS

FOR ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

 

  1. List 20 things that make you smile.
  2. Write about what you love about life.
  3. When things seem tough, I want to remember _________
  4. What is something that you have overcome?
  5. Write about some of the kindest things that you can do for yourself when you are in pain (physical and/or emotional).
  6. Write about your victories this week.
  7. What do you think your life would be like if you didn't have anxiety or depression?
  8. What positive changes have you made or experienced in the past year?
  9. Write the words that you need to hear.
  10. What does your best day look like?
  11. What would you like to be remembered for?
  12. Write about one thing that you look forward to every day.
  13. Build a list of 15 songs that can help change your mood.
  14. Write about five of your best talents.
  15. List three things that you would do if you weren't afraid.
  16. What are five things that help you feel better when things are difficult?
  17. Write about ten things that you are thankful for.
  18. What is your favorite memory?
  19. Choose one thing that triggers anxiety or depression, and then write about a few ways that you can combat this trigger.
  20. Write about something that you forgive yourself for.

 

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Try This 5-Minute Mental Exercise When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Is your head spinning? Grab a pen.

 

It’s probably safe to say that, at some point this week, you felt overwhelmed.

 

One of the biggest issues with overwhelm is that it can be completely paralyzing.

 

How can you figure out what to do or think with so many emotions, sensations, and thoughts competing for your attention? 

 

To that end, I’ve created a five-minute trick you can use to break down your mindset and make a clear path forward.

 

This exercise is helpful whether you’re feeling too much, you’re confused about what you’re feeling, or you can’t even start to process what’s going on internally.

Some indicators of this last one are a strong need to avoid others or to distract yourself, whether that’s with wine or reality TV. Other signs of overwhelm include brain fog, feeling on edge, and fatigue or numbness.

 

This trick can be done on a piece of paper or a touchscreen (or even in your head, if you’re in a pinch).

 

First, draw a large circle.

Next to it, make a list of everything you’re feeling, emotionally and physically.

Maybe your chest is tight with anxiety about your job, you’re angry about something in the news, and you’re also excited about an upcoming Zoom with an old friend.

If you notice body sensations that don’t tie to any specific emotion, mark those down, too.

For example, perhaps there’s a pit in your stomach and you’re not sure why, or you feel a gnawing hunger even though you’ve just eaten a snack.

 

You can also take note of purely physical sensations like back pain or an itchy bug bite. While these sensations may not have emotional roots, they still sap our energy and can contribute to feeling overwhelmed, so they’re worth figuring out a way to consciously address.

 

Once you have the list, draw a line connecting any emotions or sensations that overlap.

 

For example, you might draw a line between “sad” and “down.”

Decide which word is the better descriptor, and cross out the other.

See if you can connect the unknown body sensations to an emotion at this point (perhaps tired=sad?).

If not, leave them as is.

 

When you have a final list, begin to make your circle into a pie chart.

 

How large a slice should each emotion get based on how much you’re feeling it?

You may need to take a few breaths and check inward.

Do the best you can, and don’t worry if you’re not sure if it’s completely accurate. (After all, emotions and sensations are, to a large degree, subjective.)

 

Does anything about the resulting pie chart surprise you?

Take special note of opposing emotions (for example, hope and hopelessness), as they may be taking up energy as they compete to be heard.

 

Be sure to address both with the next step, below.

 

Having a plan will help all of those emotions begin to calm now that they’ve had the chance to be heard.

 

Now that you have a concrete picture of your internal landscape, for each slice, write a bullet point or two about how you can address the emotion.

 

For example, under “hopeful,” you might write “attend a rally” or “journal about visions for a more inclusive work environment.”

 

Hopelessness may necessitate connection with a spiritual source, a favorite form of self-care, or just sitting with that feeling instead of pushing it away.

 

Decide which bullet points are the most important to address today, and don’t feel like you have to get to them all immediately.

 

Having a plan will help all of those emotions begin to calm now that they’ve had the chance to be heard.

 

If there are slices where you can’t think of anything to do (for example, a weird feeling that you’re forgetting something, or a vague sense of frustration or confusion), circle them and draw a nearby heart. Same goes for body sensations that you still don’t understand (perhaps that gnawing hunger mentioned earlier, for example).

By doing this, you are acknowledging these facets of your psyche and opening up to further information from them when they’re ready to share.

 

Done on a regular basis, this quick practice can be illuminating as you see how the different slices change and shift.

 

Your newfound ability to name, acknowledge, and accept all of your emotions will not only prevent regular overwhelm, but also provide new energy to use as you navigate a constantly changing world.

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How To Reduce Anxiety and Build True Confidence From Your Core

I had to learn tactics to cope with uncertainty, instead of being constantly triggered into “fight or flight” mode

 
Growing up, I was probably the “most confident person” in my cohort. I aced everything, won awards, got articles published… I thought there was nothing I couldn’t achieve.

Then, in the last year of college, I started to have massive anxiety attacks.

I lost a bunch of hair, couldn’t have more than three hours of sleep for over three months, and relaxation didn’t exist in my dictionary.

 

I was still not getting what I wanted.

And the more I wanted it, the harder I tried, the more anxious I felt.

I kept running on the hamster wheel until I was ordered to stay home and rest for two weeks by my doctor.

 

At the rock bottom of my life, I was thinking: What’s the point of living, if I had to live my entire life with such efforts and pain?

 

It took me years to realize I had low self-esteem.

I built my self-worth on my achievement.

If something didn’t go my way, it’d trigger my brain’s survival alarm and got me into “fight or flight” mode.

That’s why I couldn’t relax.

That’s why I was always anxious.

That’s why my “confidence” was false bravado — the reality was I was dying inside.

It took me another year to consciously rebuild my self-esteem, manage anxiety, and build true confidence. Here’s the process:

 

1. Know You’re Anxious

Awareness is the first step towards change. But if you are like me, with years of anxiety stored in my brain and body, it’ll take some effort to discern.

So start with a mindfulness practice.

 

Thanks to my acting training, I’m very sensitive to how emotions show up in my body.

For me, the first sensation of anxiety and stress is a clutch in my throat: The muscles tense up, and swallowing becomes more difficult than usual.

 

Training your senses will help you better identify your emotional state so you can make a conscious effort to change.

 

“You must learn to heed your senses.

Humans use but a tiny percentage of theirs.

They barely look, they rarely listen, they never smell, and they think that they can only experience feelings through their skin.” — Michael Scott, The Alchemyst

 

2. Experience Anxiety by Allowing

When asked what’s causing you anxiety, most people will attribute it to outside sources: a sick baby, traffic, waiting for test results, etc.

I still remember the analogy my first coach used to describe my mental state back then — constantly fluctuating like Dow Jones.

 

Here’s the thing: It’s OK to not feel OK.

You are not your emotions.

You can simply relax, watch them come and go without going with them.

 

You can “watch” your anxiety like watching the cars on the highway.

You just stand there and watch.

Bad things happen.

Unexpected things happen.

No one is entirely immune to stress.

But are you allowing your emotions, or resisting them?

 

“If you’re resisting something, you are feeding it. Any energy you fight, you are feeding.

If you are pushing something away, you’re inviting it to stay.” — Michael Singer

 

3. Adjust Your Expectations

High achievers are more likely to feel anxious or stressed because they have higher expectations of themselves.

While it’s helpful to strengthen your skills by doing stretch tasks, having unrealistic expectations while you’re conquering challenges is likely to give you anxiety attacks.

 

We too often focus on raising the bar but forget to adjust our expectations accordingly.

Even machines get overheated — let alone humans.

There are limits, no matter how good you are at your job.

 

And the limits are constantly changing.

You cannot expect yourself to be at 100% when you catch a cold, have an allergy, or are on your period.

That’s completely OK.

 

Elizabeth Shepherd, my Shakespeare teacher with a six-decade acting career, once told us:

Out of the eight shows per week, two of them are given by God, two of them are marvelous, two of them are great, and the other two — you’re being a professional actor.

 

Learn your limits, adjust your expectations, and keep trying your best.

 

4. Build True Confidence With Trust

False bravado serves to boost your ego and cover up your pain — it’s a shiny armor you build to protect yourself from the outside world which often doesn’t go as you wish.

 

True confidence comes from within.

It starts with self-trust.

 

Remember: There will be things you cannot control.

But there won’t be things you cannot handle.

 

If you look at what you’ve achieved in the past, what your parents achieved, and what human beings achieved in our history, you will see the truth of this statement.

If you’re still in doubt, let me ask you this: Terrible things happen every day.

People are dying while you’re reading this piece.

Why are we still bringing children to the world, hoping for a better future for the next generation?

 

Because deep down we trust.

 

Accept whatever you cannot control, so you won’t get anxious over it.

Take actions towards whatever you need to handle, despite how you’re feeling at the moment.

Yes, you will feel anxious — it’s very easy for your brain and it will direct you there again and again.

 

But if you tell yourself to focus on what you can do, your anxious little voice will disappear.

Knowing and applying this will give you a solid foundation for building self-trust.

Repeating this process will gradually boost your true self-confidence: you will know, at your core, that you can deal with obstacles and achieve what you want.

 

“Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong.” — Peter McIntyre

 

When you’re not scared of being wrong, when you’re not scared of things “not working out”, you will be far less plagued by anxiety.

You will enjoy your work and life more, and feel confidence exuding from your core.

 

Yes, you can go look for tips and tricks for handling anxiety.

But if you don’t work on your beliefs and your confidence, you’ll just be applying band-aids to your wounds, desperately hoping for a quick fix.

 

Only when you understand your anxiety comes from how you interpret the world around you can you find inner peace.

Only when you know you do not need to “fix” it or push it away can you start to build true confidence within.

 

 

Seven Quick Fixes to Feel Better

by Madisyn Taylor

Anxiety and fear dissipate quickly when countered with conscious breathing.

The signals our bodies use to tell us we need to cleanse ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally are multifaceted and often mirror symptoms we associate with illness. If we heed these signs, we not only feel better quickly but also stave off poor health before it can start. These quick fixes for common ailments can get you started.

1. Applying pressure to the acupressure point between the thumb and forefinger can release blockages causing pain, tension, and fatigue. You can relieve a headache naturally by squeezing for 20 seconds and releasing for 10 seconds, without letting go, four times.

2. To breathe freely, irrigate your nasal passages with a neti pot and warm salt water. As you clear and soothe the sinuses, congestion associated with allergies or infection will gradually disappear.

3. Apple cider vinegar is a powerful purifying and detoxifying agent. Soaking for 20 minutes in a warm bath infused with two cups of apple cider vinegar pulls toxins from the body and can clear blocked energy.

4. The foods you eat can have a profound impact on your outlook and mood. Eating a small yet satisfying meal rich in complex carbohydrates can lift your spirit and help you let go of feelings of anger, irritability, and depression.

5. Anxiety and fear dissipate quickly when countered with conscious breathing because concentrating on the breath enables you to refocus your attention inward. You can ground yourself and regain your usual calm by taking a series of deep belly breaths as you visualize your feet growing roots that stretch miles down into the earth.

6. Though tuning out can seem counterproductive, a few minutes spent lost in daydreams or listening to soothing music can help you see your circumstances from a new angle when you feel frustrated.

7. If you feel ill health coming on, brew a wellness elixir. Simmer three sliced lemons, one teaspoon freshly grated ginger, one clove freshly minced garlic, and one quarter teaspoon cayenne pepper in five cups water until the lemons are soft and pale. Strain a portion into a mug and add honey by tablespoons until you can tolerate the taste. Drinking this potent mixture of antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal ingredients three times each day can ensure your symptoms never progress into a full-blown illness.

 

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You Might Not Actually Be Struggling With Depression

But you may be dealing with depression’s lesser known evil twin

 

Benjamin SledgeBenjamin Sledge

 

“My depression is worse than ever.”

 

Sipping my Americano, I nod in response to my friend and then open and close my palm in a gesture to say “Tell me more.”

 

A few years earlier he went through a dark time when a drunk driver hit his motorcycle and he lost a leg. Not long after, his wife of two months filed for an annulment.

 

We’ve often talked through his depression and lifelong struggle with it, but this time the situation was different. He’d recovered from the loss of his leg and was in a healthy spot with his new girlfriend.

 

“Well, my day begins early enough and I’m ready to tackle the things I need to. I have a break between clients most days, so I tell myself I’ll use the time to accomplish what I need to get done for work, my relationships, and life in general.

 

Chores, bills, you know.” Trailing off he bites down on his breakfast taco, then wipes the edge of his mouth.

 

“Anyway, I do none of it. I’ll sleep, or I’ll put on Netflix and zone out.

 

Then I run late for appointments and I’m pissed at myself for not doing what I need to.

At night it’s the same story — more Netflix and apathy.

Then I begin to feel indifferent and hate myself that I feel so numb to my circumstances.

From there, I spiral.

It gets harder to get out of bed every day.

I don’t go to the gym.

I don’t practice my spiritual disciplines.

 

I hate myself for it, but I also have little zest for life and I grow increasingly depressed, isolating myself from others and believing this is how it will be forever.

 

I have no idea how to break out of it, and my pills don’t seem to help.”

 

Whistling low through my teeth, I slurp my drink once more then smile. “Well the good news is it’s not quite depression.”

 

The disbelief on my friend’s face is clear. He’s spent most of his life battling depression.

But I hold up my hand before he can object: “You’re dealing with depression’s twin cousin. It’s called acedia.”

“Ah-seed-e-what?”

 

The Noonday Demon

 

Acedia (pronounced ah-SEED-e-uh) is an old term coined by monks who lived in the desert during the fourth century.

Before the Seven Deadly Sins became known to the world, the early Desert Fathers had a list of “Eight Bad Thoughts.”

One of the most severe thoughts was that of acedia, which the church eventually rolled up under the sin of “sloth” when the seven sins became commonplace.

One would think “lust” would be the one they hammered on given the religious leanings of the modern church, but it was considered one of the most minor “bad thoughts.”

The monks viewed lust as a lower form of greed in that you desired something you didn’t have.

 

Acedia was one of the most severe and deadly thoughts because of the despair and absolute disdain for life it produced in a human being.

It’s a shame the word has been lost to ancient textbooks and is no longer used, because acedia’s connotations carry far more weight in today’s cultural environment.

 

I first learned the term when I read author Kathleen Norris’s book, Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life. In the book she quotes a monk who states:

 

“The demon of acedia — also called the noonday demon — is the one that causes the most serious trouble of all…He makes it seem that the sun barely moves, if at all, and…he instills in the heart of the monk a hatred for the place, a hatred for his very life itself.”

 

Many of the desert monks found themselves in the same place as my friend. Work in the morning, but by noon, they despised the repetitive nature of chores or work.

 

After some time in this condition, they felt little zeal for life. Prayer stopped, sleeping increased, and they felt numb. Eventually, they despised life itself as they spiraled into a dark hole.

 
Image for post
Photo by Fernando @cferdo on Unsplash

This condition can even begin due to traumatic events in one’s life. Norris — no stranger to suffering and pain — tragically lost her husband, but instead of spiraling into depression, she found herself battling acedia. In an interview regarding her struggle after her husbands death she explained:

 

“There were so many days when I woke up indifferent to everything, especially when my husband died…When he was alive, the care-giving had to be done so I couldn’t be indifferent. But I think one of the worst phases — and I don’t want to malign the show because it was kind of entertaining — was when I watched an entire season of America’s Next Top Model. In one sitting.”

 

Reading through the book, I nodded along and remembered times when I thought I’d been depressed only to discover I’d been battling its twin cousin.

 

That old feeling of indifference and apathy leading to a numbness, only to spiral further out of control and despise being alive.

 

When I started researching depression for a book I was writing, our organization surveyed five hundred men and women.

 

When we compiled their answers, many of them explained the exact symptoms of acedia.

 

Because depression is complex and we use one word to lump several aspects together, the healing process can become confusing.

 

It’s like the word “love” in effect. While I love my wife, I also love breakfast tacos.

 

But I certainly don’t “love” the two the same way.

 

That morning over coffee, I explained to my friend that due to the way depression and acedia intertwine, he could be dealing with both at the same time.

 

“The good news and bad news, however,” I told him, “is acedia is a condition you can fight, but fighting it can also be mundane and feel as if you’re getting nowhere.”

 

Combatting Acedia

 

I’m willing to bet if I asked each person reading this, “What things are you constantly putting off and why don’t you want to do them?” everyone would have an answer. In our day-to-day lives vain repetition sounds terrible and we hate doing it.

 

For instance, if I told you I needed you to stuff 2,000 envelopes with letters, then handwrite the names and different addresses on them, you’d say it was torture, right?

 

We put off things like prayer though we’re certain it will enrich our spiritual life. We put off doing the dishes or laundry even though we know we need clean dishes to eat on and clothes to wear.

 

After I gave my friend a copy of the book Acedia & Me for him to read, he called me one evening to say, “MY GOD! IT’S LIKE I’M READING MY LIFE ON PAPER!”

 

He found that even in his romantic relationships acedia had covertly snuck in.

 

While finding romance and a significant other is often on the forefront of many young singles’ minds, here’s something most people forget about staying together “for better or for worse”: it can — at times — feel like going through the motions.

 

That romantic infatuation or ooey gooey feeling you once had, with time, will morph into a love of the will.

 

Funny enough, every marriage that has stood the test of time will confirm “love is a choice and action, not just a feeling.”

 

So here’s the good news.

 

Combating acedia has simple steps that can help you act and combat the feelings of indifference, self-hate, apathy, and keep you from spiraling further.

 

The bad news is that it begins by choosing to take part in little things that may seem repetitive, but make a big difference.

 

When HeartSupport surveyed our 500 respondents battling through depression, we asked a simple question: “What things have helped you cope and battle your depression?” Here’s what their answers revealed — most of the activities that helped were repetitive tasks that could be done daily or weekly.

 

Things like serving within their community, writing, journaling, yoga, exercise, cleaning, or several other mundane or repetitive activities.

 

What the desert monks found in their battle with acedia was the same.

 

They found joy after they had completed tasks at work even though sometimes the drudgery seemed insurmountable. By pushing through and praying — even in short bouts — they were glad they did. For everyone in this life, discipline often becomes the defining fire by which things like talent or goals become an actual ability.

 

It is indifference and believing it will always be this way that keeps us stuck. You may be tempted to think, “this is just another way to call depression something else” but consider that there’s always been a power in naming things or knowing your enemy to fight them.

 

For instance, in his epic, The Name of the Wind, author Patrick Rothfuss has his main character learn the name of the wind to command the element which in turn transforms him into a legendary wizard. In Harry Potter, knowing Voldemort’s name — and that he was Harry’s true enemy — gave Harry the power to defeat the evil magician. Perhaps the most quoted example comes from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War in which he states:

 

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

 

If you don’t know what you’re fighting, then you can’t expect there to be progress. But if you do?

 

There’s a good chance that some forward momentum, no matter how small, might be the crest of the tide that begins to break the chains.

 

So if your enemy’s name is acedia, then you know what to do.

 

Break the chains.

 

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→ Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean:

 

Featured Video

 

Stuart Eisendrath, MD, introduces his book WHEN ANTIDEPRESSANTS AREN'T ENOUGH: Harnessing the Power of Mindfulness to Alleviate Depression

 

 

Great INFO, a little outdated with using albums..........but great info

 

How Listening to Music Can Relieve Your Anxiety

Listening to music turns out to be a science-backed way of coping mindfully with anxiety

 

There I was, sitting on the floor of my unfurnished room.

No, that’s not right; I was lying on the floor — devastated.

 

I realized that I had moved to a new city with zero social contacts right before another lockdown.

And that city just turned into a ghost town.

 

Every day I walked the same circle-shaped route in the city park.

When I was feeling adventurous, I walked the other way around.

You know, to keep it exciting, to “mix things up.”

But that didn’t prevent my loneliness from reaching never-experienced heights. Not to mention, I could almost watch daylight sink into pitch-black darkness.

 

Winter was coming.

And so was my seasonal depression.

In this anxious state, I rediscovered the beauty of listening to music full-length. No breaks.

No distractions.

 

Just me and the music.

This measure was one of the biggest cures for my stress and anxiety levels during the pandemic.

And I’m not alone; several studies have proven the effects of music on your well-being.

 

Why Music Soothes

One study examined dental patients who were listening to music before their treatment.

Their situational anxiety “decreased significantly.” Similar research even proved music to be superior over pre-operative medication.

 

A meta-analysis provides further evidence on anxiety relief.

The subjects — healthy individuals — have reported an “overall decrease in self-reported anxiety.” The findings also reveal that listening to music greatly affects blood pressure, cortisol level, and heart rate.

 

Music also enhances your mood.

That’s what a study conducted on information system developers in work environments suggests.

The shift in their mood, in turn, enhanced their quality and perception of work.

 

The positive effects of music have even sparked a form of therapy — music therapy.

Participants analyze, improvise, write, and, of course, listen to music.

The documented benefits include:

  • Improved self-image and self-esteem
  • Decreased anxiety and agitation
  • Successful and safe emotional release

The scientific benefits of music go on and on.

Perhaps because music roots in the human species for survival benefits and sexual selection. Music touches us in our core instincts.

But how can we benefit the most from these insights?

What should we listen to, and how should we listen to music?

 

How to Make the Most of Music for Anxiety Relief

Active listening is important.

That is, to fully devote yourself to the music and not just letting it drone in the background.

Molly Warren, a specialist in music therapy, explains the power of active listening:

 

“Because of its rhythmic and repetitive aspects, music engages the neocortex of our brain, which calms us and reduces impulsivity.”

 

Further research confirms that music can be an effective tool to induce emotions.

 

There are two ways to use this to our advantage.

First, we can use music to alter our mood.

Warren points out that matching music to our mood can keep us stuck in our anxious state.

Because of that, music therapists first play music matching the mood.

Then, they slowly shift it to the desired state — usually calmness or contentment.

 

Second, music can comfort our mood without changing it.

Listening to sad music, for example, can make us feel better when we’re down.

 

explains that sad songs don’t prolong sorrow if the music we listen to reflects our mood or is personally relevant to us. Conversely, they supply us with “relief and pleasure — and maybe even a greater sense of emotional connection to other human beings.”

 

Through my own experience, I can confirm that listening to personal songs has been one of the best ways for me to merge with the music.

It’s what allows me to let all my worries go — even if it’s just for a moment.

 

Music that means the world to you can send you to another world.

 

How to Put the Findings into Practice

This might look different for everyone, but this four-step approach works best for me:

  1. I make sure I’m undisturbed and uninterrupted. I shut my door, close the curtains, and silence all my digital devices.
  2. I dim or switch off the lights, so the silhouette of my hand blurs with the space around me.
  3. I put on my favorite album. (Currently Dreamland by Glass Animals in case you were curious.) I prefer speakers over headphones because the experience feels “freer.”
  4. For the length of the album — in the case of Dreamland, 45 minutes and 24 seconds — I devote my full attention to the music. Depending on my mood, I dance, sing, or lie down. I find closing my eyes to be an effective way to focus my attention on the sounds.

Sessions like these have made me feel less lonely and anxious during the darkest times of the pandemic.

Every time the last chord hits, I feel more alive, content, and optimistic.

I’ve learned to become one with the music.

 

Since this is a very personal approach, I can only encourage you to find your own “therapeutic” music.

 

If you don’t know where to start, here are some ideas to consider:

  • Records your parents listened to in your childhood.
  • The music you listened to during a special moment in your life.
  • Songs where the lyrics and melody speak to your soul — you don’t need any reason or explanation for that.

Find what works for you and make the musical experience your own!

Experiment as much as you want to.

What do you have to lose?

It’s not an injection, medication, or surgery; it’s music.

Put on music right now.

Feel the magic.

 

   

Taming Monkey Mind in Meditation

by Madisyn Taylor

We all have the endless chatter and noise in our head, often referred to as the monkey mind.

It's been called the monkey mind – the endless chattering in your head as you jump in your mind from thought to thought while you daydream, analyze your relationships, or worry over the future. Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you're left totally confused.

One way to tame this wild creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that when you clear your mind for meditation you actually invite the monkey in your mind to play. This is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of a thought rather than thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can let your thoughts rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts.

To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Fire can also be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not to blink.

 

Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you.

 

 

 

Walking through Your Fear

by Madisyn Taylor

Frequently, in walking through our fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of sync with reality.

The situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, self-magnifies. It is when you are afraid and envisioning all that might go wrong that the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyzes you into inaction. Though frequently, in walking through that fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of synch with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds.

Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can nonetheless become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Walking through it, whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. As you spend time worrying about what might happen, it's good to know that your fear probably won't happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small.

Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier.

"How living my life on the internet impacted my mental health"

YouTuber Lucy Wood opens up about the link between social media and personal wellbeing.

 
YouTuber Lucy Wood opens up about the link between social media and personal wellbeing
YouTube/LucyWood
 

"I started making YouTube videos in the summer of 2013. I'd just finished uni and was in that classic 'I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life' phase -

 

I basically needed something to do. It was a bit of fun at the time, before YouTube was a big marketable thing; before anyone was famous because of it. People made content because they wanted to share what they bought, talk about their favourite lipsticks, do a Primark haul.

I'd lived my life on the Internet before this anyway, but it was over the following three or four years when my subscriber count grew significantly, that I noticed the relationship between my mental health and YouTube change.  Read  more....

 

 

OPINION: Being high-functioning and depressed doesn’t mean you’re not suffering

 

Writing this article, I knew it would be difficult for me to get the words out. I wanted to talk about depression generally enough so others could relate, but also specifically enough for it to matter.

I knew the topic of being extroverted and depressed would be hard to put into words.

Sometimes you get depressed because of events that happen in your life. You just can’t process through everything and your mind just can’t handle it.

 

Other times, you wake up and you can’t get out of bed for no reason. There’s no reason to be sad in your life; you go to college, you have friends and a nice family, but you just feel sad and lonely. You just sit there and you can’t focus on anything because your mind won’t cooperate.

The latter is what it’s like for me. I have two jobs and friends, and staying busy keeps my mind from running.  Read more....

 

 

Expert Insights for Women on Treating Depression (also great for men )

Psychiatrist Peter D. Kramer Discusses Help for Mood Disorder Symptoms
 

Ever been depressed and felt you should be able to recover without help or, worse, that you were born to suffer?

 

In this Lifescript exclusive, depression expert Peter D. Kramer, M.D., shares how treatments have evolved, some surprising causes and what patients need to know about getting help.  read more.......

 

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When Isolation Is Ok

by Madisyn Taylor

         Sometimes we need to be alone, to simply do             nothing but enjoy the sound of silence.

We all need time alone. Even those of us who are social butterflies need some time to ourselves. Solitude is necessary for meditation and quiet reflection. We also may choose to isolate ourselves when we are busy and need to meet a deadline. We may cherish time alone when we want to give ourselves over to art or music, lose ourselves in a good book, or delve into a personal project. Having time to ourselves allows us to focus completely on our yoga practice or get into the zone while running or strength training. Sometimes we need to be alone to simply do nothing but enjoy the sound of silence. Our alone time revitalizes and replenishes us, grounding us in our own company.

Yet, too much isolation, especially when our intention is to hide, withdraw, or not deal with the realities of our lives is not physically, mentally, or spiritually healthy. It is during moments like these when being in isolation takes us away from our lives, rather than enhancing it. If anything, too much isolation can create a buffer whereby we don't have to deal with our problems. Sometimes, pushing ourselves to deal with our issues and be in our lives, rather than isolate, is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves.

Also, just as it is important for us to have our "alone" time, we need to remember that as human beings, we are by nature social creatures that thrive on human contact. Our lives cannot occur in a vacuum, and we cannot fully live in this world without interacting with others. Consider using isolation as time spent for rest, reinvigoration, and personal growth. Isolation can then not only empower you, but it can allow you to return to your work and your relationships restored and ready for life.

 

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6 ways to support someone who’s having a panic attack

 

by: Mia Arderne

 

What’s the best way to respond when someone tells you they are having a panic attack or feeling severely anxious? There are many forms of anxiety disorder, including generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia and PTSD. While social phobia is characterised by the ‘intense fear of humiliation in social settings’, panic disorder is often linked to a sudden and unpredictable feeling of terror.

 

Some common features of anxiety disorders are panic attacks or episodes, and the avoidance or fear of specific places or situations (crowds, or driving, or taking public transport). Panic attacks usually last for four to six minutes and can include a racing heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling, sweating, chills or hot flushes, difficulty breathing, a sense of unreality and chest pains. According to SADAG, ‘Women are affected twice as frequently as men’ – more great news about being a woman today.

 

Here are a few suggestions for how to support a friend or loved one when they’re going through an episode or attack:

 

1. Curb the ‘What If?’ thoughts by helping them to focus on the present

The feeling of fear is disproportionate to the actual situation. You can help bring the the person going through the attack back into the present by encouraging them to focus on manageable tasks, for example, naming the objects or colours around them, or counting backwards from 100 in threes.

 

2. Confront it by naming or labelling the experience

 

Call it what it is (anxiety, a panic attack) and don’t wish the attack away. Accept it and encourage your friend to give it time to pass. SADAG suggests asking your friend to rate the feeling of fear or anxiety from zero to 10. Then encourage them to keep track of how it fluctuates and notice that it will not stay at the highest level for too long. Remind your friend that they will be okay – it’s an attack and it’s going to pass.

 

3. Ask and affirm, don’t assume

 

Ask the person what they need right now, and ask what you can do. They may be able to guide you and, for example, ask for help getting out of the building or for help with a specific need. Don’t make assumptions. It can sometimes help to affirm or support them with words of encouragement, or just affirmation – ‘we’ll stay here as long as you need to’ – depending on the person. You can also affirm them by acknowledging small victories; things that may seem unremarkable but are a huge deal for someone with an anxiety disorder, like making it to the shops. It’s important to commend small steps and not enable avoidance.

 

 

4. Don’t dictate or be dismissive

 

You can encourage breathing slowly, but don’t dismiss what is happening by saying things like ‘just relax’ or ‘calm down’. If they could, they would. Don’t say disparaging things like ‘you’re just being irrational’ or ‘you have to do x’ – that will likely make it worse. Be patient.

 

5. Don’t be a martyr

 

Do not panic when you see someone having a panic attack. You might understandably be concerned, but compounding it does not help. Do not sacrifice your own well-being or health to help someone with anxiety. This will cause resentment. It’s important to remain functional.

 

6. Help them to get help

 

Remember that the person may need professional help, and you can encourage them to do something about their anxiety.  Anxiety disorders may not be caused by a single condition or situation. The disorder could come about as a result of hereditary factors, brain chemistry, life experiences, or a combination of all three. It can be aggravated by certain physical or environmental triggers, so it may help to know what those are for the affected person. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication in severe cases are the advised treatments.

 

 

 

Depression Screener



Taking a depression-screening test is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. The depression-screening test on this site is completely anonymous and confidential.  TAKE THE TEST

 

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What are your unique gifts to share with the world?

Do you feel that you have to buy a lotto ticket to win?

Do you agree that we have to find our self love to transform?

Do you want to be happy?  A dumb question huh, think about it.

What did you do today that made you happy?

What did you want to do today to be even more happy?

Do you agree that "other activities" are better than sitting on the couch watching TV?

 

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Emphasis on a Distraction from Depression

 

Has any of this ever happened to you?

  • Maybe you have found yourself in the hospital’s ER because you thought you were having a heart attack, only to be told later it was anxiety?
  • Do you ever fear you might stop breathing because your chest feels tight and your breathing is erratic?
  • When you drive, do you fear the idea of getting stuck in traffic, on a bridge, or at a red light?
  • Do you ever feel afraid you might lose control or go insane?
  • Have you struggled with anxious, intrusive thoughts?
  • Do you ever feel uncomfortable in enclosed spaces such as supermarkets, cinemas, public transport, or even sitting at the hairdresser’s?
  • Do you fear socializing because you might get anxious and have to leave in a hurry? What will they think, right?

Chick on this link for multiple Videos...................

 

Animated Videos To End Panic Attacks and Anxiety

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Additional LINKS for more information on Depression

Listed below are links to more information on what is quickly labeled DEPRESSION.  You have to be aware of your own feelings.....no one else feels them.  Explore the WWW for answers and come up with some possible understanding of how you feel and why.  For further answers seek professional assistance.

 

NOW if you feel you are really feeling SAD, alone or other stuff, explore the links on self- love and discove your Trunp Card.  You are unique, you are important, you are perfect.

 

Let's explore some thoughts on Clinical Depression.

Dealing with and feeling Sad.

What can I do if I feel Lonely?

6 Ways to Ward Off Depression for Women....but Guy's check this out.

 

Your Trump Card: Self-Love.

How To Love Yourself In 17 Ways.

Keys to Self-Esteem and Self-Love.





How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust [self-trust]

 

What the heck is self-trust?

 

If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust.  Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.

 

Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it?  New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never followed through on for your business, health or finances.  We’ve all done it.  Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else.  Would you have tried harder to do what you said you were going to do?  Most would answer that with a resounding YES!

Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust.  It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you.  Low trust is the very definition of a bad relationship.  Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?

Why does this matter?  Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself!  If you wanna know how to develop as a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.

 

In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all types of relationships.  That principle is credibility.  Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?”  If the answer is no, don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!

 

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“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”

                                                                   – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

So there are 4 Cores of Credibility.  Basically, these are what make you believeable!  The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related.  All 4 are necessary!

 

The 4 Cores of Credibility (Building Blocks of Self-Trust)

 

Core 1: Integrity – Are You Congruent?

This isn’t the same as honesty.  It’s much more than that.  Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs.  You’re actions are congruent with your values.

 

Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?

This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior.  Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated.  It grows when we serve and lead.

 

Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?

Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence.  This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge…  It’s the means we use to produce results.  These can come from training.

 

Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?

Did you do what you said you would do?  People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them.  This affects self-trust when you continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.

 

To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree.  Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured.  Integrity exists as the roots and Results at the top.  Makes sense, right?

 

Look over these cores of credibility.  Where do you need work?  Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back?  Identify the areas you need work and get to it.  If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?

 

read more........................

 

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Could You Be Depressed? Here is a basic quiz indicator.

Like Picasso, everyone goes through a "blue period" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20 million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function normally day to day.
Find out if you're just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.
 



Extrovert-Me! - Get the most out of life

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

GREAT LISTS TO EXPLORE:

 

SEARCH our Lirbary for ton's of additional information on change and being happier.

 

As you explored these links.......did you find an outstanding Web Site that you would like to share with others.  It is all about connection. Drop us a web email from the Contact Page.

 

Links from readers of this Web Site:

 

Dr. Phil.com - A great source for information.  Sent to p

 

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20 JOURNAL PROMPTS

FOR ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Copied from Cblue82 on PatietsLikeMe blog

 

  1. List 20 things that make you smile.
  2. Write about what you love about life.
  3. When things seem tough, I want to remember _________
  4. What is something that you have overcome?
  5. Write about some of the kindest things that you can do for yourself when you are in pain (physical and/or emotional).
  6. Write about your victories this week.
  7. What do you think your life would be like if you didn't have anxiety or depression?
  8. What positive changes have you made or experienced in the past year?
  9. Write the words that you need to hear.
  10. What does your best day look like?
  11. What would you like to be remembered for?
  12. Write about one thing that you look forward to every day.
  13. Build a list of 15 songs that can help change your mood.
  14. Write about five of your best talents.
  15. List three things that you would do if you weren't afraid.
  16. What are five things that help you feel better when things are difficult?
  17. Write about ten things that you are thankful for.
  18. What is your favorite memory?
  19. Choose one thing that triggers anxiety or depression, and then write about a few ways that you can combat this trigger.
  20. Write about something that you forgive yourself for.

 

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6 ways to support someone who’s having a panic attack

 

by: Mia Arderne

 

What’s the best way to respond when someone tells you they are having a panic attack or feeling severely anxious? There are many forms of anxiety disorder, including generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia and PTSD. While social phobia is characterised by the ‘intense fear of humiliation in social settings’, panic disorder is often linked to a sudden and unpredictable feeling of terror.

 

Some common features of anxiety disorders are panic attacks or episodes, and the avoidance or fear of specific places or situations (crowds, or driving, or taking public transport). Panic attacks usually last for four to six minutes and can include a racing heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling, sweating, chills or hot flushes, difficulty breathing, a sense of unreality and chest pains. According to SADAG, ‘Women are affected twice as frequently as men’ – more great news about being a woman today.

 

Here are a few suggestions for how to support a friend or loved one when they’re going through an episode or attack:

 

1. Curb the ‘What If?’ thoughts by helping them to focus on the present

The feeling of fear is disproportionate to the actual situation. You can help bring the the person going through the attack back into the present by encouraging them to focus on manageable tasks, for example, naming the objects or colours around them, or counting backwards from 100 in threes.

 

2. Confront it by naming or labelling the experience

 

Call it what it is (anxiety, a panic attack) and don’t wish the attack away. Accept it and encourage your friend to give it time to pass. SADAG suggests asking your friend to rate the feeling of fear or anxiety from zero to 10. Then encourage them to keep track of how it fluctuates and notice that it will not stay at the highest level for too long. Remind your friend that they will be okay – it’s an attack and it’s going to pass.

 

3. Ask and affirm, don’t assume

 

Ask the person what they need right now, and ask what you can do. They may be able to guide you and, for example, ask for help getting out of the building or for help with a specific need. Don’t make assumptions. It can sometimes help to affirm or support them with words of encouragement, or just affirmation – ‘we’ll stay here as long as you need to’ – depending on the person. You can also affirm them by acknowledging small victories; things that may seem unremarkable but are a huge deal for someone with an anxiety disorder, like making it to the shops. It’s important to commend small steps and not enable avoidance.

 

 

4. Don’t dictate or be dismissive

 

You can encourage breathing slowly, but don’t dismiss what is happening by saying things like ‘just relax’ or ‘calm down’. If they could, they would. Don’t say disparaging things like ‘you’re just being irrational’ or ‘you have to do x’ – that will likely make it worse. Be patient.

 

5. Don’t be a martyr

 

Do not panic when you see someone having a panic attack. You might understandably be concerned, but compounding it does not help. Do not sacrifice your own well-being or health to help someone with anxiety. This will cause resentment. It’s important to remain functional.

 

6. Help them to get help

 

Remember that the person may need professional help, and you can encourage them to do something about their anxiety.  Anxiety disorders may not be caused by a single condition or situation. The disorder could come about as a result of hereditary factors, brain chemistry, life experiences, or a combination of all three. It can be aggravated by certain physical or environmental triggers, so it may help to know what those are for the affected person. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication in severe cases are the advised treatments.

 

 

 

Depression Screener



Taking a depression-screening test is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. The depression-screening test on this site is completely anonymous and confidential.  TAKE THE TEST

 

The 10 Depression Tools

These proven tools can help you feel stronger and more hopeful. Check out each page for specific, easy-to-follow tips.

  1. Connect with others
  2. Stay positive
  3. Get physically active
  4. Help others
  5. Get enough sleep
  6. Create joy and satisfaction
  7. Eat well
  8. Take care of your spirit
  9. Deal better with hard times
  10. Get professional help if you need it

 

 

Many people handle what they feel is depress in different ways.  There is research on alternatives to medication and sitting at home.  Here are a video's to inspire you:

 

Click "right on top of the Video" to contact Justin for more information.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

  In defining the Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron provides examples of characteristic behaviors, and these are reflected in the questions she typically asks patients or interview subjects:

  • Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
  • Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
  • Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
  • Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
  • Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
  • Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
  • Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
  • When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

 

          Read more at the HSP website

 

          Are You Highly Sensitive?  Take A Self-Test



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now...

Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now... it's less than 5 minutes, but watch it only if you believe it can work (if you're skeptical or not in the mood, this will make you throw-up in your throat a little and we don't want that).

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

What are your unique gifts to share with the world?

Do you feel that you have to buy a lotto ticket to win?

Do you agree that we have to find our self love to transform?

Do you want to be happy?  A dumb question huh, think about it.

What did you do today that made you happy?

What did you want to do today to be even more happy?

Do you agree that "other activities" are better than sitting on the couch watching TV?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emphasis on a Distraction from Depression

 
Click on this pictures for more informatiom.....

Has any of this ever happened to you?

  • Maybe you have found yourself in the hospital’s ER because you thought you were having a heart attack, only to be told later it was anxiety?
  • Do you ever fear you might stop breathing because your chest feels tight and your breathing is erratic?
  • When you drive, do you fear the idea of getting stuck in traffic, on a bridge, or at a red light?
  • Do you ever feel afraid you might lose control or go insane?
  • Have you struggled with anxious, intrusive thoughts?
  • Do you ever feel uncomfortable in enclosed spaces such as supermarkets, cinemas, public transport, or even sitting at the hairdresser’s?
  • Do you fear socializing because you might get anxious and have to leave in a hurry? What will they think, right?

Chick on this link for multiple Videos...................

 

Animated Videos To End Panic Attacks and Anxiety

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Additional LINKS for more information on Depression

Listed below are links to more information on what is quickly labeled DEPRESSION.  You have to be aware of your own feelings.....no one else feels them.  Explore the WWW for answers and come up with some possible understanding of how you feel and why.  For further answers seek professional assistance.

 

NOW if you feel you are really feeling SAD, alone or other stuff, explore the links on self- love and discove your Trunp Card.  You are unique, you are important, you are perfect.

 

Let's explore some thoughts on Clinical Depression.

Dealing with and feeling Sad.

What can I do if I feel Lonely?

6 Ways to Ward Off Depression for Women....but Guy's check this out.

 

Your Trump Card: Self-Love.

How To Love Yourself In 17 Ways.

Keys to Self-Esteem and Self-Love.





How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust [self-trust]

 

What the heck is self-trust?

 

If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust.  Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.

 

Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it?  New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never followed through on for your business, health or finances.  We’ve all done it.  Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else.  Would you have tried harder to do what you said you were going to do?  Most would answer that with a resounding YES!

Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust.  It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you.  Low trust is the very definition of a bad relationship.  Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?

Why does this matter?  Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself!  If you wanna know how to develop as a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.

 

In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all types of relationships.  That principle is credibility.  Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?”  If the answer is no, don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”

                                                                   – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

So there are 4 Cores of Credibility.  Basically, these are what make you believeable!  The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related.  All 4 are necessary!

 

The 4 Cores of Credibility (Building Blocks of Self-Trust)

 

Core 1: Integrity – Are You Congruent?

This isn’t the same as honesty.  It’s much more than that.  Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs.  You’re actions are congruent with your values.

 

Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?

This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior.  Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated.  It grows when we serve and lead.

 

Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?

Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence.  This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge…  It’s the means we use to produce results.  These can come from training.

 

Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?

Did you do what you said you would do?  People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them.  This affects self-trust when you continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.

 

To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree.  Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured.  Integrity exists as the roots and Results at the top.  Makes sense, right?

 

Look over these cores of credibility.  Where do you need work?  Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back?  Identify the areas you need work and get to it.  If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?

 

read more........................

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Could You Be Depressed? Here is a basic quiz indicator.

Like Picasso, everyone goes through a "blue period" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20 million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function normally day to day.
Find out if you're just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.
 



Extrovert-Me! - Get the most out of life

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 






SEARCH our Lirbary for ton's of additional information on change and being happier.

 

As you explored these links.......did you find an outstanding Web Site that you would like to share with others.  It is all about connection. Drop us a web email from the Contact Page.

 

Links from readers of this Web Site:

 

Dr. Phil.com - A great source for information.  Sent to post on site by Steve.

 

 

 

Overcoming Anxiety | Jonas Kolker | TEDxTheMastersSchool

 

 

 

Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean:

 

Expert Insights for Women on Treating Depression (also great for men )

Psychiatrist Peter D. Kramer Discusses Help for Mood Disorder Symptoms
 

Ever been depressed and felt you should be able to recover without help or, worse, that you were born to suffer?

 

In this Lifescript exclusive, depression expert Peter D. Kramer, M.D., shares how treatments have evolved, some surprising causes and what patients need to know about getting help.  read more.......

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overcoming Depression with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6 ways to support someone who’s having a panic attack

 

by: Mia Arderne

 

What’s the best way to respond when someone tells you they are having a panic attack or feeling severely anxious? There are many forms of anxiety disorder, including generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia and PTSD. While social phobia is characterised by the ‘intense fear of humiliation in social settings’, panic disorder is often linked to a sudden and unpredictable feeling of terror.

 

Some common features of anxiety disorders are panic attacks or episodes, and the avoidance or fear of specific places or situations (crowds, or driving, or taking public transport). Panic attacks usually last for four to six minutes and can include a racing heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, numbness, trembling, sweating, chills or hot flushes, difficulty breathing, a sense of unreality and chest pains. According to SADAG, ‘Women are affected twice as frequently as men’ – more great news about being a woman today.

 

Here are a few suggestions for how to support a friend or loved one when they’re going through an episode or attack:

 

1. Curb the ‘What If?’ thoughts by helping them to focus on the present

The feeling of fear is disproportionate to the actual situation. You can help bring the the person going through the attack back into the present by encouraging them to focus on manageable tasks, for example, naming the objects or colours around them, or counting backwards from 100 in threes.

 

2. Confront it by naming or labelling the experience

 

Call it what it is (anxiety, a panic attack) and don’t wish the attack away. Accept it and encourage your friend to give it time to pass. SADAG suggests asking your friend to rate the feeling of fear or anxiety from zero to 10. Then encourage them to keep track of how it fluctuates and notice that it will not stay at the highest level for too long. Remind your friend that they will be okay – it’s an attack and it’s going to pass.

 

3. Ask and affirm, don’t assume

 

Ask the person what they need right now, and ask what you can do. They may be able to guide you and, for example, ask for help getting out of the building or for help with a specific need. Don’t make assumptions. It can sometimes help to affirm or support them with words of encouragement, or just affirmation – ‘we’ll stay here as long as you need to’ – depending on the person. You can also affirm them by acknowledging small victories; things that may seem unremarkable but are a huge deal for someone with an anxiety disorder, like making it to the shops. It’s important to commend small steps and not enable avoidance.

 

 

4. Don’t dictate or be dismissive

 

You can encourage breathing slowly, but don’t dismiss what is happening by saying things like ‘just relax’ or ‘calm down’. If they could, they would. Don’t say disparaging things like ‘you’re just being irrational’ or ‘you have to do x’ – that will likely make it worse. Be patient.

 

5. Don’t be a martyr

 

Do not panic when you see someone having a panic attack. You might understandably be concerned, but compounding it does not help. Do not sacrifice your own well-being or health to help someone with anxiety. This will cause resentment. It’s important to remain functional.

 

6. Help them to get help

 

Remember that the person may need professional help, and you can encourage them to do something about their anxiety.  Anxiety disorders may not be caused by a single condition or situation. The disorder could come about as a result of hereditary factors, brain chemistry, life experiences, or a combination of all three. It can be aggravated by certain physical or environmental triggers, so it may help to know what those are for the affected person. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication in severe cases are the advised treatments.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depression Screener



Taking a depression-screening test is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. The depression-screening test on this site is completely anonymous and confidential.  TAKE THE TEST

How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust [self-trust]

When Isolation Is Ok

by Madisyn Taylor

         Sometimes we need to be alone, to simply do             nothing but enjoy the sound of silence.

We all need time alone. Even those of us who are social butterflies need some time to ourselves. Solitude is necessary for meditation and quiet reflection. We also may choose to isolate ourselves when we are busy and need to meet a deadline. We may cherish time alone when we want to give ourselves over to art or music, lose ourselves in a good book, or delve into a personal project. Having time to ourselves allows us to focus completely on our yoga practice or get into the zone while running or strength training. Sometimes we need to be alone to simply do nothing but enjoy the sound of silence. Our alone time revitalizes and replenishes us, grounding us in our own company.

Yet, too much isolation, especially when our intention is to hide, withdraw, or not deal with the realities of our lives is not physically, mentally, or spiritually healthy. It is during moments like these when being in isolation takes us away from our lives, rather than enhancing it. If anything, too much isolation can create a buffer whereby we don't have to deal with our problems. Sometimes, pushing ourselves to deal with our issues and be in our lives, rather than isolate, is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves.

Also, just as it is important for us to have our "alone" time, we need to remember that as human beings, we are by nature social creatures that thrive on human contact. Our lives cannot occur in a vacuum, and we cannot fully live in this world without interacting with others. Consider using isolation as time spent for rest, reinvigoration, and personal growth. Isolation can then not only empower you, but it can allow you to return to your work and your relationships restored and ready for life.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the heck is self-trust?

 

If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust.  Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.

 

Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it?  New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never followed through on for your business, health or finances.  We’ve all done it.  Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else.  Would you have tried harder to do what you said you were going to do?  Most would answer that with a resounding YES!

Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust.  It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you.  Low trust is the very definition of a bad relationship.  Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?

Why does this matter?  Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself!  If you wanna know how to develop as a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.

 

In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all types of relationships.  That principle is credibility.  Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?”  If the answer is no, don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”

                                                                   – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

So there are 4 Cores of Credibility.  Basically, these are what make you believeable!  The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related.  All 4 are necessary!

 

The 4 Cores of Credibility (Building Blocks of Self-Trust)

 

Core 1: Integrity – Are You Congruent?

This isn’t the same as honesty.  It’s much more than that.  Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs.  You’re actions are congruent with your values.

 

Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?

This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior.  Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated.  It grows when we serve and lead.

 

Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?

Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence.  This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge…  It’s the means we use to produce results.  These can come from training.

 

Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?

Did you do what you said you would do?  People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them.  This affects self-trust when you continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.

 

To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree.  Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured.  Integrity exists as the roots and Results at the top.  Makes sense, right?

 

Look over these cores of credibility.  Where do you need work?  Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back?  Identify the areas you need work and get to it.  If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?

 

read more........................

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Could You Be Depressed? Here is a basic quiz indicator.

Like Picasso, everyone goes through a "blue period" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20 million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function normally day to day.
Find out if you're just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.
 
Go to the first question...



Extrovert-Me! - Get the most out of life

 

 

Many people handle what they feel is depress in different ways.  There is research on alternatives to medication and sitting at home.  Here are a video's to inspire you:

Click "right on top of the Video" to contact Justin for more information.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now...

Feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Here are 7 tips to make yourself happy right now... it's less than 5 minutes, but watch it only if you believe it can work (if you're skeptical or not in the mood, this will make you throw-up in your throat a little and we don't want that).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

What are your unique gifts to share with the world?

Do you feel that you have to buy a lotto ticket to win?

Do you agree that we have to find our self love to transform?

Do you want to be happy?  A dumb question huh, think about it.

What did you do today that made you happy?

What did you want to do today to be even more happy?

Do you agree that "other activities" are better than sitting on the couch watching TV?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emphasis on a Distraction from Depression

Chick on this link for multiple Videos...................

 

Animated Videos To End Panic Attacks and Anxiety

 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Additional LINKS for more information on Depression

Listed below are links to more information on what is quickly labeled DEPRESSION.  You have to be aware of your own feelings.....no one else feels them.  Explore the WWW for answers and come up with some possible understanding of how you feel and why.  For further answers seek professional assistance.

 

NOW if you feel you are really feeling SAD, alone or other stuff, explore the links on self- love and discove your Trunp Card.  You are unique, you are important, you are perfect.

 

Let's explore some thoughts on Clinical Depression.

Dealing with and feeling Sad.

What can I do if I feel Lonely?

6 Ways to Ward Off Depression for Women....but Guy's check this out.

 

Your Trump Card: Self-Love.

How To Love Yourself In 17 Ways.

Keys to Self-Esteem and Self-Love.





SEARCH our Lirbary for ton's of additional information on change and being happier.

 

As you explored these links.......did you find an outstanding Web Site that you would like to share with others.  It is all about connection. Drop us a web email from the Contact Page.

 

Links from readers of this Web Site:

 

Dr. Phil.com - A great source for information.  Sent to post on site by Steve.