FEAR

an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

 

Woman in Gray Tank Top Looking Frightened

 

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What is Fear?

 

Fear is one of the seven universal emotions experienced by everyone around the world. Fear arises with the threat of harm, either physical, emotional, or psychological, real or imagined. While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe as it mobilizes us to cope with potential danger.

 

Feeling fear

 

The family of fearful experiences can be distinguished in terms of three factors:

  • Intensity: How severe is the harm that is threatened?
  • Timing: Is the harm immediate or impending?
  • Coping: What, if any, actions can be taken to reduce or eliminate the threat?

When we are able to cope with the threat, this lessens or removes the fear. Alternatively, when we are helpless to decrease the threat of harm, this intensifies the fear.

 
Source: Atlas of Emotions

Fear can sometimes take place immediately following surprise and often oscillates with the experience of anger.

 

What makes us fearful

 

The universal trigger for fear is the threat of harm, real or imagined. This threat can be for our physical, emotional or psychological well-being. While there are certain things that trigger fear in most of us, we can learn to become afraid of nearly anything.

 

 

Common fear triggers:

  • Darkness or loss of visibility of surroundings
  • Heights and flying
  • Social interaction and/or rejection
  • Snakes, rodents, spiders and other animals
  • Death and dying
 
 

Moods and disorders

Persistent fear can sometimes be referred to as anxiety if we feel constantly worried without knowing why.

The inability to identify the trigger prevents us from being able to remove ourselves, or the actual threat, from the situation.

While anxiety is a common experience for many people, it can be considered a disorder when it is recurrent, persistent, intense, and interferes with basic life tasks such as work and sleep.

 

For more information about anxiety and phobias, read here.

 

Recognizing fear

 

Facial expression of fear

The facial expression of fear is often confused with surprise. While both expressions show distinctly raised eyebrows, a fear expression's eyebrows are straighter and more horizontal whereas in surprise they are raised and curved. The upper eyelid is also lifted higher in fear than in surprise, exposing more sclera (white of the eye). Finally, the lips are tensed and stretched in fear but more open and slack in surprise. 

 
 
Image
 
 

Vocal expression of fear

When experiencing fear, one’s voice often has a higher pitch and more strained tone.

One may also scream.

 
 

Sensations of fear

Common sensations include feeling cold and shortness of breath.

It also may include sweating and trembling or tightening of muscles in the arms and legs.

 
 

Posture of fear

The posture of fear can either be one of mobilizing or immobilizing- freezing or moving away.

 

 

The function of fear

 

The universal function of fear is to avoid or reduce harm.

Depending on what we have learned in the past about what can protect us in dangerous situations, we are capable of doing many things we wouldn’t typically be able, or willing, to do in order to stop the threat.

 
 

The immediate threat of harm focuses our attention, mobilizing us to cope with the danger.

In this way, fear can actually save our lives by forcing us to react without having to think about it (e.g., jumping out of the way of a car coming at us).

The evolutionary preset actions of fear include fight, flight and freezing.

 
 

Responding to fear in ourselves

While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe.

It can, however, also keep us feeling trapped and prevent us from doing things we’d like to.

Whereas some people find fear nearly intolerable and avoid the emotion at all costs, others experience pleasure from feeling fear and seek it out (i.e., watching a horror film).

 
 

Responding to fear in others

It takes a well-developed capacity for compassion to respect, feel sympathetic toward, and patiently reassure someone who is afraid of something we are not afraid of (most of us dismiss such fears). We do not need to feel another person's fear to accept it and help them cope.

 

Additional Resources

Learn to recognize and respond to the emotional expressions of others with our online micro expressions training tools to increase your ability to detect deception and catch subtle emotional cues.

Expand your knowledge of emotional skills and competencies with in-person workshops offered through Paul Ekman International.

Delve into personal exploration and transformation with Cultivating Emotional Balance.

Build your emotional vocabulary with the Atlas of Emotions, a free, interactive learning tool created by Drs. Paul and Eve Ekman at the request of the Dalai Lama.

Read Dr. Ekman’s guide to emotions, the best-seller Emotions Revealed.

Introduce the world of emotions to children in a fun way with Dr. Ekman's official guide to Disney•Pixar's Inside Out.

 

 

Phobias: The ten most common fears people hold

Black whip-snake
Black whip-snakes are venomous, but only the biggest ones are considered dangerous to people.(Tracey Robins: Department of Environment and Conservation)
 
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What are you most afraid of?

There are many things people are fearful of, but here are the ten most common phobias:

 

 Social Phobias

Social phobias are the most common type of fear.

They are considered an anxiety disorder and include excessive self-consciousness in social situations.

Some people can fear being judged so much they avoid specific situations, like eating in front of others.

Up to one in 20 people have a social phobia.

 

Agoraphobia: fear of open spaces

While it is generally understood to be a fear of open spaces, agoraphobia is a much more complex fear.

It is a serious anxiety disorder than can trap people in their homes or make leading a normal life next to impossible.

Some people with agoraphobia avoid specific places or venues.

 

Acrophobia: fear of heights

Some people fear heights so badly the escalators at the local shopping centre give them vertigo.

Vertigo is different to the phobia and is the sense of dizziness people can develop.

For others a cliff-top lookout or a tall building makes their head spin.

 

Pteromerhanophobia: fear of flying

With all the media coverage of air disasters it is understandable many fear being in a plane crash and hence have a fear of flying.

But with more than 100,000 commercial flights around the world each day, the chances of being struck by lightning are higher than dying in a plane crash.

 

Claustrophobia: fear of enclosed spaces

Sometimes the fear of flying is actually more closely linked to a fear of enclosed spaces.

People with this fear say they feel like the walls are closing on them.

Some theories suggest there is a genetic link to specific phobias as a kind of dormant survival mechanism.

 

Entomophobia: fear of insects

They are small, they crawl and they often bite, so it is understandable why many people do not like spiders and insects.

But they are a crucial link in the food chain and we cannot live without them.

 

Ophidiophobia: fear of snakes

Indiana Jones famously quipped "I hate snakes", and he is not alone.

A fear of all things long and venomous is common to many.

The great thing about snakes is that if you leave them alone they will leave you alone.

 

Cynophobia: fear of dogs

A fear of dogs is a common phobia, particularly among children and door-to-door sales agents.

The fear can be exacerbated by a negative experience with an animal and can be one of the most difficult phobias to conquer given canines can sense people's fear.

 

Astraphobia: fear of storms

It is understandable why the booming sound of thunder can send people's hearts racing and a fear of storms is common.

Realistically it is lightning that can hurt people, but the chance of that happening is remote.

 

Trypanophobia: fear of needles

Having a sharp piece of metal stuck in your arm is always an unpleasant thought and many people develop a strong aversion to needles.

But needles are typically worth the pain with them either delivering vaccinations, delivering blood donations or helping to investigate a potential illness — even creating a tattoo.

 

Agoraphobia: fear of open spaces

While it is generally understood to be a fear of open spaces, agoraphobia is a much more complex fear.

It is a serious anxiety disorder than can trap people in their homes or make leading a normal life next to impossible.

Some people with agoraphobia avoid specific places or venues.

 

Acrophobia: fear of heights

Some people fear heights so badly the escalators at the local shopping centre give them vertigo.

Vertigo is different to the phobia and is the sense of dizziness people can develop.

For others a cliff-top lookout or a tall building makes their head spin.

 

Pteromerhanophobia: fear of flying

With all the media coverage of air disasters it is understandable many fear being in a plane crash and hence have a fear of flying.

But with more than 100,000 commercial flights around the world each day, the chances of being struck by lightning are higher than dying in a plane crash.

 

Claustrophobia: fear of enclosed spaces

Sometimes the fear of flying is actually more closely linked to a fear of enclosed spaces.

People with this fear say they feel like the walls are closing on them.

Some theories suggest there is a genetic link to specific phobias as a kind of dormant survival mechanism.

 

Entomophobia: fear of insects

They are small, they crawl and they often bite, so it is understandable why many people do not like spiders and insects.

But they are a crucial link in the food chain and we cannot live without them.

 

Ophidiophobia: fear of snakes

Indiana Jones famously quipped "I hate snakes", and he is not alone.

A fear of all things long and venomous is common to many.

The great thing about snakes is that if you leave them alone they will leave you alone.

 

Cynophobia: fear of dogs

A fear of dogs is a common phobia, particularly among children and door-to-door sales agents.

The fear can be exacerbated by a negative experience with an animal and can be one of the most difficult phobias to conquer given canines can sense people's fear.

 

Astraphobia: fear of storms

It is understandable why the booming sound of thunder can send people's hearts racing and a fear of storms is common.

Realistically it is lightning that can hurt people, but the chance of that happening is remote.

 

Trypanophobia: fear of needles

Having a sharp piece of metal stuck in your arm is always an unpleasant thought and many people develop a strong aversion to needles.

But needles are typically worth the pain with them either delivering vaccinations, delivering blood donations or helping to investigate a potential illness — even creating a tattoo.

 

 

6 Tips To Overcoming Anxiety and Phobias

Do fear and anxiety keep you from dealing with unavoidable situations and emotions? These expert tips will help you overcome a paralyzing pattern of behavior.

 

 
Mental, Health, Mental Health, Cloud
 

It is human nature to avoid emotions that scare us.  

Who wants to walk directly into what promises to be a painful experience?

Except that by continually avoiding looking at the ‘boogeyman’ within, you become hostage to the monster.

Typically this involves hiding from any potential stressor that might cause upset and engaging in endless distractions.

Alas, you are also hiding from potential challenges that can lead to growth and joy.

Plus, you can’t hide forever from fear. It’s going to strike, despite your best efforts to suppress it.

And it is likely that it will strike at a time when you most need emotional equanimity.

 

The good news is that once you face your fear—and give the boogeyman air—rather than shove it into a distant compartment of your brain, it begins losing the ability to rule you and dictate your decisions.

 

Studies on Anxiety and Fear

A study published in the journal Science by researchers from the École Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne (EPFL) does a good job summing up how the brain actually has to re-experience a fear in order to extinguish it.

Here’s what the researchers did: They put rodents into a small box and gave them a mild shock and then took them out.

Over a long period, the researchers returned the mice to the box but didn’t administer shocks. Initially, the mice froze, but with repeated exposure to the box, and no additional shocks, they eventually relaxed.

 

For humans repeated exposure to the event(s) that created the trauma can help the anxiety subside.

 

For example, the treatment for fear of flying is often exposure therapy that involves slowly and repeatedly being exposed to the object that is feared in a controlled environment.

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For example, the person who is immobilized at the thought of flying might, in an exposure therapy treatment, might begin by reading a story about a plane crash, and gradually work up to going to an airport without boarding a plane, then boarding a plane without taking off, then finally taking a short flight…

With repeated exposure in a safe place, such as a therapist’s office, to the event(s) that created the trauma, the anxiety level subsides.

 

Facing Your Fear

My patient *Doreen suffered one of the worst traumas imaginable—her twin sister committed suicide. Fourteen months later another tragedy occurred: *Beth, a cousin to whom Doreen had once been extremely close, jumped off a bridge to her death.

Doreen dreaded—and feared—the mourning process.

She was afraid of losing herself to overwhelming grief.

 

Instead of dealing with her emotions, she found what felt like the perfect coping mechanism: non-stop solo travel to the far corners of the globe.

During her rare periods at home, she felt lonely but found numerous reasons to not attempt forging friendships.

 

After one particularly adventurous trip, she slumped into my office.

“Sherry, I hiked in the Amazon and had a session with a shaman and yet it felt so hollow.

I wanted to share the experience with someone…with Beth.”

 

Doreen’s distress convinced her that it was time to stay home for a few months (her bank account would thank her!) and devote herself to what she feared most: facing herself.

 

I suggested she might make new connections through a social networking website called meetup.

 

A few times she registered for an activity, but at the last minute experienced anxiety symptoms so intolerable that she stayed home.

 

During one session, I asked, “Why does letting someone become close scare you so much?”

She closed her eyes and after a few minutes of contemplation said, “If I let myself be vulnerable, it will kill me when the person leaves.”

 

“Why do you assume the person will leave?”

“My sister and Beth left—everyone does.”

“And yet here you are still standing. You survived the worst that could happen. How could attending a pottery painting event be harder?”

 

The next day she registered for a group hiking event.

At our next session she confessed the morning of the hike she experienced such severe anxiety symptoms —sweating palms, shaking lips, heart palpitations—so uncomfortable, she almost didn’t go.

 

“I told myself, ‘Sherry says fear is a momentary emotion.

If I run from it I’ll feel worse later.’”

 

She had such a fabulous time on the hike she impulsively volunteered to arrange the group’s next outing.

Doreen recalled, “As soon as I got home I got so anxious that I reached for the phone to rescind my offer but I made myself breathe and continued to go about my day.”

Soon Doreen had an active social life for the first time in years.

Yes, she still experienced anxiety, but now she had coping mechanisms that allowed her to find relief and overcome the anxiety.

“I’m still really afraid of losing people, but I’m more afraid of ultimately never finding what I really crave—community.”

 

Tips to Work Through Your Fear and Live Your Life

 

If you are experiencing overwhelming fear or anxiety, especially a phobia, please consider working with a therapist. Additionally, here are some suggestions that have helped many of my patients work through being hostage to their own fears:

  1. Allow yourself to sit with your fear for 2-3 minutes at a time. Breathe with it and say, “It’s okay. It feels lousy but emotions are like the ocean—the waves ebb and flow.” Have something nurturing planned immediately after your 2-3 minute sitting period is completed: Call the good friend waiting to hear from you; immerse yourself in an activity you know is enjoyable and engrossing.
  2. Write down the things you are grateful for. Look at the list when you feel you’re in a bad place. Add to the list.
  3. Remind yourself that your anxiety is a storehouse of wisdom. Write a letter, “Dear Anxiety, I am no longer intimidated by you. What can you teach me?
  4. Exercise. Exercise can refocus you (your mind can only focus on one thing at a time). Whether you go on a short walk, head to a boxing gym for an all-out sweat session, or turn on a 15-minute yoga video at home, exercise is good for you and it will ground you and help you feel more capable.
  5. Use humor to deflate your worst fears. For instance, what are some ridiculous worst-case scenarios that might happen if you accept an invitation to deliver a speech to a crowd of 500 people? I might pee in my pants at the podium  *** I will be arrested for giving the worst speech in history *** My first boyfriend (girlfriend) will be in the audience and heckle me.
  6. Appreciate your courage. Doreen would tell herself during difficult times, “Every time I don’t allow fear to keep me from doing something that scares me, I am making myself stronger and less likely to let the next fear attack stop me.”

Perhaps the most important coping tool is to be kind to yourself.

What advice would you give to a best friend about those negative inner voices that whisper: Be afraid.

Don’t try anything new?

 Do as you advise others—don’t listen to the negativity; be your own best friend.

 

How to stop living in fear

10 tips to master your psychology and achieve your dreams

Posted by: Team Tony Robins

 

 

Fear of failure, fear of rejection or fear that we’re just not enough – fear is a common current that runs through all of our lives.

 

And if we let it, fear can keep us locked up in the prison of the comfortable and predictable, which prevents us from reaching our true potential.

Living in fear causes a double conundrum where you’re unfulfilled with the status quo yet afraid to pursue anything better.

Social Phobia, Head, People, Silhouette

But there is also a way that fear can serve a valuable purpose, helping us break through the frustration to achieve the life we truly desire. That’s right – if you allow it to, fear can become a tool for finding fulfillment. Discover how to stop living in fear – or better yet, how to use fear as your ultimate inspiration.

 

Why am I living in fear?

To stop living in fear, you must understand the underlying psychology so that you can actively work against it. To a point, fear and anxiety have a place in healthy human psychology. Fear is a normal emotion that signals a potential threat to your physical or emotional safety. It’s a natural response that helped our ancestors survive, but in the modern world this response can become chronic or hyper-sensitive. According to research from Harvard, just over 19% of the total population has experienced an anxiety disorder in the previous 12 months. They’re some of the most common psychological issues in the U.S.

Everything from the media to caffeine has been blamed for our current state of anxiety. But living in a state of blame has never helped anyone solve their problems. It’s time to take ownership of your emotions and transform your life.

How to stop living in fear

With chronic fear, you’re not experiencing anxiety – you’re living in it. The fear response becomes a maladaptive lifestyle, influencing everything you think, feel and do. Living in fear keeps you stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle of defeat and frustration. 

The upside to fear is that the emotions surrounding it are usually so unpleasant that they drive you to find another way. There are many strategies for how to stop living in fear, from self-care to exercise to seeking professional help. When you commit to facing your fears, you’re able to discover strategies to overcome them and find peace.

fear

1. Determine the source of your anxiety

If you’re living in fear, your anxieties have escalated to the point that they’re running the show. You’re thinking about your worries constantly without much mindfulness as to what’s behind them. To stop living in fear, you must pinpoint what’s causing your distress.

Get out a piece of paper and brainstorm a list. When you’re finished, circle the items that are tangible concerns – fears that your house will burn down, your kids will go missing or you’ll lose your job tomorrow. Start giving yourself a sense of control by writing a few actions you can take to prevent these things from happening. Also recognize the intangible concerns – fears of the apocalypse, alien invasion from Mars or worldwide economic collapse. You’ll see that these have very little chance of happening – but you’ll also see that these fears often have deeper roots. If your fears fall into this category, you’ll need to do some self-reflection to discover how to stop living in fear.

2. Recognize that life happens for you

Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you,” as Tony Robbins says. Truly understanding and accepting this concept is the first step to fulfillment. When you put an end to the blame game and start becoming the master of your own destiny, endless possibilities open up to you.

The reason for determining the source of your anxiety isn’t to give you an excuse to keep living in fear. It’s to help you assert power over those fears so that they no longer control you. Once you identify the source, you can change your story – and change your mindset. The first step is recognizing that you have a choice. You can blame outside forces for your emotions and continue to feel out of control. Or you can take charge of your life and learn how to stop living in fear.

3. Stop the excuses

Like blame, excuses are a defense mechanism we use to avoid facing our problems. It’s easy to push our hopes, desires and dreams aside when we have excuses: There’s just not enough time, I don’t have the money or the resources, I have a family, I’m too busy. And we start to hide behind those excuses instead of taking action to move forward.

Excuses are comforting when we’re living in fear. They’re safe. But excuses will also bring you back to exactly where you started. Remember that the next time an excuse floats into your mind. Are you truly where you want to be in life? Or are you falling back on fear and choosing to be comfortable instead of facing a challenge? By becoming more cognizant of your brain’s proclivity for using excuses so you won’t be held accountable, the better you will become at dismissing them.

4. Turn your “shoulds” into “musts”

In your mind, if you have no choice but to succeed – if achieving your goal is an absolute must – then nothing else matters. Sacrifices won’t even be a question. Excuses go out the window. You’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Period.

Even the most successful people feel like they’re living in fear sometimes. The difference is that rather than allowing fear to creep in and suck the life right out of their dreams, they know that the price they will pay if they don’t give their goals and visions every ounce of energy and focus they have is far scarier. They know the real fear is living a life where they have settled or compromised what they really wanted. How do you adopt that mindset and perspective?

Imagine yourself when you are 80 years old, nearing the end of your life. You are sitting in your rocking chair, reflecting on how you lived your life. Now, look back on your life as if you had not achieved the goal you are after at this moment in your life. How has this affected the course of your life? What are your regrets? What do you wish you had made more time for? What do you wish you had tried? Is there sadness and regret? Are you wondering, “What if…?” In this way, you can use fear to propel you toward your ultimate goal.

5. Adopt a growth mindset

People often give up on what they want because they believe that reaching their goal is beyond their abilities. They continue living in fear and settle into their lives, thinking that their goal is unattainable so they don’t even bother. But the most successful people foster a growth mindset. They don’t think of their abilities as fixed, but rather as flexible. And when faced with a setback, they work harder. They adopt a new strategy. They keep seeking a solution. They don’t give up when things become challenging. Instead, they find new ways to adapt and work harder to achieve their goals.

personal growth

6. Learn that pain brings valuable insight

There isn’t one successful person in the world who hasn’t had to overcome major obstacles. The most painful experiences can help refine what you want and what you don’t want in life. Failure, disappointment, dead-ends – these can all be used as a means of reflecting and saying, “This didn’t work. It wasn’t the right fit. So what do I really want?”

Remember, we are built to adapt. So embrace your inner strength and use each experience as a tool to help you learn more about yourself and what you really must have in life. When you’re facing a painful experience or feel ready to give into fear, picture someone you admire who faced adversity – they wouldn’t have achieved the success they now have without learning how to stop living in fear.

7. Practice self-care

Mastering your emotions and changing your mindset is psychological – but would you be surprised to learn that the psychological is also physical? Next time you feel like you’re living in fear, change your posture and adopt a “power pose.” It can make you feel more confident and less fearful.

Other self-care habits have an effect on your state as well. Physical activity is proven to reduce depression and anxiety, so next time you feel fear coming on, get out and go for a walk, practice yoga or take a bike ride. Mindfulness meditation is also proven to combat anxiety and depression and even lower blood pressure. Eliminating caffeine and alcohol from your diet is another self-care tip that’s essential to lowering anxious feelings. When you combine physical and psychological self-care, you have the recipe for how to stop living in fear.

feeling overwhelmed

8. Adopt an abundance mindset

Fear cannot coexist with positive emotions. You cannot feel both scared and joyful, or afraid and peaceful. You can’t feel fear and gratitude at the same time, either – but you can replace one with the other. When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. You shift your focus from the negative to the positive. Where focus goes, energy flows, so when you change your mindset in this way, you find that you naturally bring more positivity – and less fear – into your life.

Adopting an abundance mindset is key to unlocking how to stop living in fear. You can do this by keeping a gratitude journal, practicing priming or meditation, using visualization, coming up with empowering incantations and more. Next time you’re anxious or afraid, you’ll have a powerful toolbox that you can access to overcome those emotions.

9. Be fully present

When we’re living in fear, we’re often also living in either the past or the future. We let our past mistakes haunt us and affect our future decisions. We live in so much fear of what could happen that we forget to enjoy what is happening. As Tony tells us, “The past does not equal the future unless you live there.”

In today’s super-connected world, it’s easier than ever to live in the past – reconnecting with toxic people and reminiscing about old relationships. When surfing the Internet, it’s easy to get caught in fantasizing about your next relationship or vacation plans that will never manifest.

Stop missing your life. Put your phone down. Step away from the computer. Take up a new hobby. Meet people in the here and now. Start living instead of worrying.

Share your goals

10. Know that failure is inevitable

After all this work, you still need to accept one truth: You will fail. It’s just part of the process. Any successful person will tell you that. Failure provides insights and inherently corrects the faulty ways of approaching a problem. There is no teacher as impactful as the sting of failure and no lesson in resilience better than the burn of rejection. If you use these experiences as unique information, and adjust your strategy and approach the next time around, you will have an advantage that no one else does. With the right mindset you can change your story and say goodbye to living in fear

If you’re ready to learn how to stop living in fear, you have to decide that your dreams are more important than your fear of failure. Make the decision today to master your fears and start existing as the most joyful, successful version of yourself possible.

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.